To have spent £700 on a cleaner/gardener

[ReenaGee]

I'm a lone parent to a 5yo with ASD/ADHD. I have 10k saved and am doing relatively ok apart from being time poor. I work full time, DS the rest of the time. He can't be left alone.

I have booked a cleaner for a deep clean of my house, and a gardener to completely de-weed the garden, plant flowers, cut hedges, power wash etc. £700 in total.

Told my mum I had treated myself today as I've been stressed about where on earth I'm going to find the time to do it. I didn't tell her how much it was, but she proceeded to tell me I am wasting my money and should get on with adulting myself. Was said in a slightly jovial tone but equally she meant it.

Do, AIBU? IMHO it is the self care I need ATM pre summer but she's got in my head making me feel like I'm not achieving things I should be...

I am a lone parent with no family help and I applaud you!!

I also pay for a gardener a few times a year and the feeling I get when I see it’s all done is just amazing.

YANBU at all, people who can’t relate to you may not agree but that’s a them problem 😜

That sounds amazing and I think a fab price for everything that's being done!

Don’t listen to your mum. Sounds money well spent to me.

No its not £20 an hour gardening generally and 3or 4 hours goes nowhere. Not being ripped of at all

If anyone ever gives you guff about spending money on this kind of thing ask them if they cut their own hair. Technically we could all just cut our own hair but there's a reason we get professionals to do it, as the pandemic showed. Cleaner/gardener/hairdresser/whatever, it saves time and money ultimately to get the job done properly.

Family fund and DLA yes. Short breaks once we have another report for evidence!

This is all really helpful and interesting. May I ask how you split the 10 hours over the week? I’m going to look into something like this as help. Many thanks!

OP you thoroughly deserve it and it sounds like money very well spent. Tell your mum to bog off!

She should volunteer to watch your DS or help with your house/garden, then.

@Iloveflowers2002 We have our lady come the three days a week when I’m in the office. I work at home the other 2. She does 10-12 hours depending what needs to be done, spilt between the days as she can. She cleans, does laundry/ bedding, does jobs around the house like cleaning inside windows on a rota and also helps let our dogs in and out when I’m not there. Basically, she does all the things I would do if I was at home (although I wouldn’t be half as good!) so then I come home to a tidy and clean house with everything organised. It’s wonderful. It means I don’t have to spend every waking hour either working or cleaning and our evenings and weekends we can focus on doing things with the kids. I do have a very hands on husband but he also works a lot so we’ve decided we need the help to make both our lives more enjoyable. We still have to tidy up regularly but it makes everything much more manageable. We found our wonderful lady on care.com.

Sounds like a bargain then. I hope they do an amazing job. There’s nothing wrong with being kind to yourself and all that will make you feel a ton more relaxed for longer than a weekend at a spa.

You are absolutely not being unreasonable. Your mum clearly doesn't understand the physical and mental toll having a disabled child has on a person. Finding the time to do all of these things, whilst also being a parent carer, whilst also working full time - it's hard. You can't do everything, something suffers. If outsourcing and paying for someone to do some of the things you're slacking on means you're able to do everything else better, and you can afford to do this, then brilliant!

I'd like to see anyone who sees this as a waste of money find the time to do all these jobs, work full time and care for a disabled person who cannot be left alone. It's bloody hard work, it's exhausting work, and I'd much rather outsource the gardening and cleaning jobs if it meant I was able to meet my child's needs instead.

I think it’s a good idea if you keep it all up. You said you’re going to keep both on - that’ll mean it doesn’t quickly feel like a waste!

A huge part of me winces at the thought of paying £700 for a clean house and garden, but then why the fuck not! If you can and it takes some of the pressure off then it's money well spent for you! Your life sounds stressful enough.

Sounds absolutely fantastic and a great price

if, and you can, you can afford bringing and bringing peace of mind do it!

i've got huge gardens with loads of weeds front and back. I paid someone to clear it and now comes to maintain it when needed. Best money I’ve ever spent

I think it's a great idea. Especially decluttering/organising so that everything will be more manageable. That way it's also an investment.

You will feel so great and have a lot of stress lifted that you didn’t even know was there (as long as a good job is done). It’s really stressful to have messy/dirty surroundings that you just don’t have the time or head space to deal with. Perhaps your mum used to have more time or help when she was your age. Enjoy!

Thank you so much this sounds so excellent! Thank you for the website tip, I’ll give them a go! I’m excited to think what I could do with an extra 10 hours a week!

I just paid someone 2500 for a fence.
a fence!

Good for you. If you can afford it, it’s a great idea. Don’t be made to feel guilty!

I pay £200 for a gardener every other week. It's much more expensive than people think!!

100% worth it OP. I’m struggling at the moment with illness and DC, and can 100% see the value in outsourcing jobs that will take lots of time. It’ll bring you so much happiness too! A lovely clean home and garden will be so nice for you to enjoy.

I think that's a fantastic idea. £700 for a clean slate house and garden far. far better than a holiday for me. It's your life and your money if your home environment is important for you and your mental health what a great way to boost both.

They sound really good prices! I'll be spending that on just getting half the garden done.

It's your money and you spend it as you see fit. Being a single parent is hard so if you can outsource you should. It annoys me when people question what I spend my own money on.