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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have spent £700 on a cleaner/gardener

224 replies

ReenaGee · 09/04/2025 21:35

I'm a lone parent to a 5yo with ASD/ADHD. I have 10k saved and am doing relatively ok apart from being time poor. I work full time, DS the rest of the time. He can't be left alone.

I have booked a cleaner for a deep clean of my house, and a gardener to completely de-weed the garden, plant flowers, cut hedges, power wash etc. £700 in total.

Told my mum I had treated myself today as I've been stressed about where on earth I'm going to find the time to do it. I didn't tell her how much it was, but she proceeded to tell me I am wasting my money and should get on with adulting myself. Was said in a slightly jovial tone but equally she meant it.

Do, AIBU? IMHO it is the self care I need ATM pre summer but she's got in my head making me feel like I'm not achieving things I should be...

OP posts:
Wexone · 10/04/2025 12:08

ReenaGee · 09/04/2025 21:39

It's a deep clean of a 3 bed house, including white goods, oven, carpet shampoo, decluttering and reorganising.

The garden includes lawn mowing, weeding, hedge trimming, re-laying non existent gravel, jet washing, plants and putting up a large Wendy house.

Show quote history

that's actually very good value. ignore people I am called posh as I have a cleaner who cleans and irons for me by my mother. I am time poor and also have a health condition I need to rest aswell plus hate wasting my time cleaning etc. I see my mother never sits still always on edge and constantly cleaning. you are getting every thing done enjoy it and next time don't say a word to anyone

RelaxTheCacks · 10/04/2025 12:12

Brilliant adulting as far as I'm concerned 😎

Tagyoureit · 10/04/2025 12:13

I'm all for throwing money at things, just a shame I don't actually have very much of it!!

Do what you think is right, don't discuss it with other people.

RafaFan · 10/04/2025 12:13

MagicPharmacist · 09/04/2025 21:37

£700?

Is this for a week of work?

It's for two different services - interior cleaning and gardening. The gardening jobs are big, time-consuming tasks. $700 doesn't sound unreasonable.

Boohoolol · 10/04/2025 12:13

I thought it was a bit expensive for just the garden. But now that I see that it includes a deep clean of the house… it’s worth it. Anything that saves you from burnout is worth it

TheLurpackYears · 10/04/2025 12:14

Well done you! I'm so sorry the shine has been taken off it by your mum.
You have put a price on your labour. This is what the works you are expected to do for free actually costs. If a single mum with children that need extra support can afford to, they 100% should, without shame or judgement.
Have you found any sources of funding to continue to take some of the strain? I hope you already get DLA? Family Fund or Short Breaks for respite care? Does your local authority give carers grants?

BoldAmberDuck · 10/04/2025 12:17

ReenaGee · 09/04/2025 21:39

It's a deep clean of a 3 bed house, including white goods, oven, carpet shampoo, decluttering and reorganising.

The garden includes lawn mowing, weeding, hedge trimming, re-laying non existent gravel, jet washing, plants and putting up a large Wendy house.

Show quote history

I’d say that’s reasonable

BuildbyNumbere · 10/04/2025 12:19

If you can afford it, do it …. but that sounds VERY expensive! Did you get a few quotes???

Bourneo · 10/04/2025 12:21

Do not feel guilty at all! This is self care. I'm in a similar position to you, and if I had the money I'd do the same. I feel like I'm drowning constantly. It's impossible to keep on top of everything when you're a single parent and work full time.

JillMW · 10/04/2025 12:23

It works out at £13.50 a week spread over a year. Likely something you would only get done once a year. A lot of mothers spend more than that on alcohol to relieve stress. For me I would be very happy doing what you have chosen. Enjoy the results!

Mumlaplomb · 10/04/2025 12:25

great idea OP. Ignore your mum. It’s totally unrealistic to expect a single mum who works full time and has a child to look after to be able to do a deep spring clean and garden overhaul without help. I wish society would expect so much from working mothers generally tbh.

LucastaNoir · 10/04/2025 12:26

It’s a brilliant idea OP. Money well spent.

Well done you.

Azdcgbjml · 10/04/2025 12:26

Sounds like a really good idea. It will feel so good to have all that done. There are no medals for martyrdom.

Enjoy!

PeachBlossom1234 · 10/04/2025 12:28

As a single mum as well, I outsource as much as possible. Do it! Spend the equivalent time with your little one and don’t feel guilty at all!

Thepollonator · 10/04/2025 12:29

ReenaGee · 09/04/2025 21:39

It's a deep clean of a 3 bed house, including white goods, oven, carpet shampoo, decluttering and reorganising.

The garden includes lawn mowing, weeding, hedge trimming, re-laying non existent gravel, jet washing, plants and putting up a large Wendy house.

Show quote history

That's not a bad price at all for all that. If you can afford it then go for it, it will make you feel a lot better 😘

Abbyant · 10/04/2025 12:31

I’ll never understand why we should struggle and stress ourselves out just to say we’re being an adult. if you can afford it and it takes something off your rather full plate then I’m all for it. If I could afford it myself id be right on the bandwagon. Enjoy the stress free clean house and spruced up garden.

Britneyfan · 10/04/2025 12:31

This IS adulting! Brilliant adulting I agree! And it’s your choice how you spend your own money anyway. Don’t let your mum’s comment get to you. If it’s worth it to you (and you can actually afford it), it’s always worth it whatever “it” is that is my motto.

The older generation may find it hard to understand outsourcing labour that you could technically do yourself, however they grew up in a different time with different culture and values really, and I would say were less time poor but often more financial resources poor. Much less of them were single parenting for a start.

justanotherboymum · 10/04/2025 12:41

Money well spent! I would never spend such a lot of money but I don’t work full time so have pockets of time to do it myself. But in your situation I think it’s a great idea, enjoy your clean house and lovely garden

Wanttomakemincepies · 10/04/2025 12:42

I also have a 6y/o with additional needs. I work full time and so does my husband. I can’t afford a cleaner or a gardener but have used their services previously. I recently treated myself to an oven clean and they were done within the hour and I was so happy. I felt looked after and a job that takes me ages was done to an excellent standard. Money well spent.

Timeforaglassofwine · 10/04/2025 12:43

ConstanceM · 09/04/2025 21:47

Shop around, I think you are being ripped off. Grass grows back as so does the mess. £700 is steep

Edited

That made me chuckle - grass grows back 🤣 its like saying don't buy nice wine as you'll only pee it out!

Gettingbysomehow · 10/04/2025 12:45

I also have a cleaner and a gardener too as I work full time and I'm disabled. If my mother talked to me like that I'd tell her to get stuffed.

Needmoresleep · 10/04/2025 12:45

Would your mum say the same thing if you were a son trying to work and raise children on their own.

Jabberwok · 10/04/2025 12:46

ConstanceM · 09/04/2025 21:47

Shop around, I think you are being ripped off. Grass grows back as so does the mess. £700 is steep

Edited

Are you for real. Just the gardener that sounds like a min of 2 days work, more likely 3. Even at minimum wage the 2 days of gardening is £195. So your employing a professional gardener, with the tools, knowledge, experience, insurance to do the job. Plus a cleaner to deep clean, shampoo carpets etc.

I'm a member of a fb group called nightmare customers...there are plenty of people like yourself who expect to pay £25 for a days work.

Letstheriveranswer · 10/04/2025 12:46

Sounds like that is a works worth of work so £700 is probably about right. Although a lot of money! But if you can afford it and it sets you up to manage everything more easily in future, go for it!

Biggles27 · 10/04/2025 12:48

Sounds a perfectly reasonable price to me for what you’re having done

you can afford it. It will make you feel SO much better

it took dh six hours to power wash our patio and two shortish paths and he was exhausted when he finished

you won’t regret it