Page 8 | Boyfriend has just blocked me

StrangerThings1 · 09/04/2025 16:36

Sodthesystem · 09/04/2025 16:23

I think bullies like to pretend to be compassionate so they drag your vulnerability out. Then use it against you. Sometimes they over share first to foster a feeling of trust -to get you to overshare back.

Yeah it's difficult because you might think after a few months when you are going out properly, it's safe to say more. But some of these assholes don't start dropping signs for a year or more. And if you've told them some history at 6 months in, it's just more incentive for them to dig their claws in, thinking if you've tolerated abuse, you will again. Even just mentioning little shitty things the ex did could be a green flag to them that you might be tolerant of bs.

I think if I ever felt the need to say anything about an ex being awful or said something without thinking - l'd add 'and that's why he's an ex, because I dump at the first sign of bullshit. Like, bye bye asshole'.

Try not to let them know deal-breaker behaviour though. Because they'll just avoid it in favour of different games.

It's the same as never answering the question 'what do you look for in a man?' because if you do, anyone who has an agenda with that question will try to become what you say you want (and even nice people might do so subconsciously too). It's a good opportunity to say 'just someone that is being themself and we are compatible, I just take things as the come'. If you notice a flash of annoyance on their face at any point of this answer, you know to run fast and far as they were definitely hoping for a character idea to morph into.

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Agree with all of this, I hope some people who have been abused / bullied read it and maybe examine their own behaviour in order to prevent it happening again in the future

I think a lot of people think it’s good to be vulnerable in relationships / friendships ( and possibly use that vulnerability to attempt to draw people closer to them / fall in love with them) but you really need to know the person you are being vulnerable with extremely well before you think of doing it so it dosen’t backfire on you

DeffoNeedANameChange · 09/04/2025 16:37

Apologies not RTFT but you need to be very careful here. There's a high chance he's just testing the water, and seeing how much shit you will potentially take from him. This sort of tantrum breakup is the textbook second phase after the love bombing.

No matter what he says/does, please please don't take him back.

mummybear35 · 09/04/2025 16:43

And you’re with him why?? What a childish insecure arse of a man! Jog on, you’ve dodged a bullet..

Amanitacae · 09/04/2025 16:49

This reminds me of an ex who though I was cheating because

A) I said ‘no way Jose’ (Spanish man’s name Jose - a very common turn of phrase where I live) and he presumed I was shagging a msn called Jose.

B) I had one of my hairs wrapped in a tight ball around a chain I was wearing, and he presumed I’d been handing out BJs and this was another man’s pubic hair.

relationship lasted another 5 years. Ended with him cheating. I’m 100% sure retrospectively that he was cheating on me all along (hence the wild accusations).

AthWat · 09/04/2025 16:55

Namechange2609 · 09/04/2025 02:12

I did always think he was abusive in his ways so I absolutely know this is for the best. This isn’t the first time he’s falsely accused me of something and quite literally made me prove myself over something I haven’t done but this is the first time he’s blocked me

im almost feeling a little sense of relief. I am hurt but I know il be ok. He was awful at communicating with me, and would often call me a cunt during minor arguments and become quite aggressive. This morning before I saw his message he said to me “are you dumb or what”

i need to write all this down to hold myself accountable for when he potentially tries to pull me back in. He’s getting the block button back

"He...would often call me a cunt during minor arguments "

I mean, surely, isn't this enough?

Neither I nor my partner have ever called one another cunts during any kind of argument. I can't even imagine it happening.

Weefox · 09/04/2025 17:00

No tears or dram. Tell him it's over. His behaviour is beyond unreasonable and will get worse.

Tvp123 · 09/04/2025 17:11

Namechange2609 · 09/04/2025 06:57

Yes I know that feeling far too well unfortunately

I’d be surprised if he didn’t try to be back, this time it felt different but then again I’ve been here so many times before just without the block button. I cannot be with him he is not a good person, but like I said I also don’t feel he will be back

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The behaviour escalates over time, so even if you hadn't had the blocking before if you went back to him I'd put money on it continuing.
Good for you for walking away.

YesHonestly · 09/04/2025 17:14

Tvp123 · 09/04/2025 17:11

The behaviour escalates over time, so even if you hadn't had the blocking before if you went back to him I'd put money on it continuing.
Good for you for walking away.

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Absolutely this.

He’s started playing a new game with you now, it won’t stop. He is also likely to be the one cheating on you like another PP said. Controlling, insecure men are absolute scumbags.

Plumpishly · 09/04/2025 17:16

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

paradisecircus · 09/04/2025 17:18

He's done you a favour. Bye!

Ohmygodnotnow · 09/04/2025 17:20

I have read so many of these threads now that I genuinely feel that there should be some sort of government sponsored program to brand these vicious wasters. Why should any woman have to waste her time findo out what they are like deep down. I'm so disgusted by so many threads on here currently.

notacooldad · 09/04/2025 17:23

He...would often call me a cunt during minor arguments "
The first time he called you that was the time to leave, never mind often calling you that!
Be glad he has gone and have better boundaries next time you are in a relationship.

Oldglasses · 09/04/2025 17:32

Time to say bye!

Pherian · 09/04/2025 17:39

Namechange2609 · 09/04/2025 01:44

Oh god help please..

my boyfriend of 7 months has just blocked me and ended our relationship based on the fact that this morning he whatsapped me to go and shut the kitchen window whilst he was in the shower. The message didn’t pop up on my phone (must of been signal). He came into the room to say did you not get my message? I said no and I went onto WhatsApp and his message popped up.

he has blocked me because he thinks I turned my notifications off because I must be speaking to other men. He also gave me the silent treatment all day and night and I had no idea why until a couple of hours ago.

i do not deserve this and it’s absolutely disgusting but obviously I’m hurt and taken back and need some tough love!

You dodged a bullet. His behaviour toward you is insane. Not only did you not deserve the accusation but you didn’t deserve to be ghosted either.

I would wager it’s probably him doing the messing around and he’s used this event to over react and fall out with you to suddenly be single.

Be thankful he did it 7 months in and not when you’ve gotten to a point of living together etc.

Block the cheeky f*cker back because when he’s done getting up to whatever he’s getting up to, he will probably try and slither back into your life. Don’t let him. Give him back to the streets. Where he belongs.

Pherian · 09/04/2025 17:44

Namechange2609 · 09/04/2025 06:30

Well I cannot believe I’ve allowed this person to put me through even half of what he has done so far. I know I’ve been weak, and I know that the relationship would never be sustainable long term. As things got worse it did become easier to when he would threaten to break up with me but as he’s just love bombed me the last two weeks I’ve been sucked back in so I’m feeling pretty hurt.

He usually causes a big fight or drama week on week and it usually starts with him using the silent treatment on me and me not knowing why (and when I’m with my 2 DCs). He has subtly been putting me down, but never has any positives to say about me. He never apologizes for anything - everything and I mean everything is my fault. He watches me cry and ignores me or tells me to cuddle the dog as he’s good for cuddles, oh and he loves to withhold affection and love when I need it but really obviously give it to his dog for example I could be sat there crying and he will grab his dog turn over spoon him and start kissing him, telling him how much he loves his dog. It’s very strange and I know he’s trying to make me feel worthless at this point. he is bipolar, un medicated. Suffers with intrusive suicidal thoughts at night

he will often call me a slag, as a “joke”. When he wants sex it’s ok, when I want sex it’s “everything is about sex with you not everything is about sex”
he 100% has a porn addiction. He often hangs up on me mid conversation on the phone for no good reason, he’s rude. He never takes me out on dates, he never pays me a compliment, He cannot and will not communicate about any issues I have, everything is about him and his needs, everything is on his terms

I’d love to be able to give the examples for the horrible out of the blue arguments he’s started but my minds gone blank, but just know once in his kitchen I asked why he was clenching his fists. Oh two weekends ago, he started an argument with me when we woke up and then told me that I had ruined his day, I’ve ruined the entire day

the guy makes me feel bulldozed (only way to describe it) on another level. The constant put downs and tarnishing my character, cheating accusations make me feel like I’ve just been hit over by a giant bulldozer

wow I needed to get that rant off my chest! Well done if you got this far. Thank you for reading

Jesus that’s a lot to go through in 7 months. I’m so glad you’re away from that absolute psycho.

does your friends and family know about this behaviour ? Please tell them. Because if anything they will also hold you accountable.

katepilar · 09/04/2025 17:53

Sounds you are lucky to get rid of him. Hope you dont live with him and/or you arent pregnant with him and make a clear cut. Hope this is the last you have heard from him.

Umidontknow · 09/04/2025 18:08

Well he's a bell end.

Gardenbird123 · 09/04/2025 18:46

Run run run. Don't engage when he comes back, he hasnt changed and won't. Please value yourself and stay away from him. Your children need you to stay away from him, don't have an unhappy life for all of you.

Vannymcvan · 09/04/2025 18:47

I spent nearly three years with a narcissistic, gaslighting, manipulative wanker who would alternate between love bombing and withholding affection. To my shame, he ended it with me! Looking back I can pinpoint the moment I should have said 'enough'. This is your moment, never let him back.
It's the Easter holidays, have some fun with your kids. Block him on everything. If he comes door knocking, you know which two words to use.

Original poster

Namechange2609 · 09/04/2025 18:55

Yes friends and family know about this!

i do not live with him, i have water tight contraception.

he unblocked me, called me and stated that i was the one who broke up with him (that’s not true) he then said im a liar and its lie after lie. The call ended, he then sent me a text to say “night mate” - this is a 32 year old man for goodness sake. I told him it’s not the time for jokes and I am extremely angry and hurt by his actions, ones I will not accept nor tolerate. He then said he doesn’t want a long message back he is expecting more than that. I’m sorry - what is he expecting?

the conversation is over anyway. I’m so angry that someone can be so cruel and cold and quite literally make up a false narrative!

it blows my mind. I’m hurt of course but I do need to really stay strong here

OP posts:

Lookuptotheskies · 09/04/2025 18:58

Block him!

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 09/04/2025 18:58

@Namechange2609 You need to block him so he can't unblock you and start attacking you again whenever he feels like it.

And if he does manage to contact you using a different phone number or something, you say, "don't contact me again" and hang up.

Just do not engage.

mlc0 · 09/04/2025 19:00

Sounds like he’s done you a favour.

Deathinparadisefan · 09/04/2025 19:03

Namechange2609 · 09/04/2025 06:30

Well I cannot believe I’ve allowed this person to put me through even half of what he has done so far. I know I’ve been weak, and I know that the relationship would never be sustainable long term. As things got worse it did become easier to when he would threaten to break up with me but as he’s just love bombed me the last two weeks I’ve been sucked back in so I’m feeling pretty hurt.

He usually causes a big fight or drama week on week and it usually starts with him using the silent treatment on me and me not knowing why (and when I’m with my 2 DCs). He has subtly been putting me down, but never has any positives to say about me. He never apologizes for anything - everything and I mean everything is my fault. He watches me cry and ignores me or tells me to cuddle the dog as he’s good for cuddles, oh and he loves to withhold affection and love when I need it but really obviously give it to his dog for example I could be sat there crying and he will grab his dog turn over spoon him and start kissing him, telling him how much he loves his dog. It’s very strange and I know he’s trying to make me feel worthless at this point. he is bipolar, un medicated. Suffers with intrusive suicidal thoughts at night

he will often call me a slag, as a “joke”. When he wants sex it’s ok, when I want sex it’s “everything is about sex with you not everything is about sex”
he 100% has a porn addiction. He often hangs up on me mid conversation on the phone for no good reason, he’s rude. He never takes me out on dates, he never pays me a compliment, He cannot and will not communicate about any issues I have, everything is about him and his needs, everything is on his terms

I’d love to be able to give the examples for the horrible out of the blue arguments he’s started but my minds gone blank, but just know once in his kitchen I asked why he was clenching his fists. Oh two weekends ago, he started an argument with me when we woke up and then told me that I had ruined his day, I’ve ruined the entire day

the guy makes me feel bulldozed (only way to describe it) on another level. The constant put downs and tarnishing my character, cheating accusations make me feel like I’ve just been hit over by a giant bulldozer

wow I needed to get that rant off my chest! Well done if you got this far. Thank you for reading

Oh.my good god! Get the heck out of this “relationship”. What a horrible, nasty little s**t he is.

StrangerThings1 · 09/04/2025 19:13

Namechange2609 · 09/04/2025 18:55

Yes friends and family know about this!

i do not live with him, i have water tight contraception.

he unblocked me, called me and stated that i was the one who broke up with him (that’s not true) he then said im a liar and its lie after lie. The call ended, he then sent me a text to say “night mate” - this is a 32 year old man for goodness sake. I told him it’s not the time for jokes and I am extremely angry and hurt by his actions, ones I will not accept nor tolerate. He then said he doesn’t want a long message back he is expecting more than that. I’m sorry - what is he expecting?

the conversation is over anyway. I’m so angry that someone can be so cruel and cold and quite literally make up a false narrative!

it blows my mind. I’m hurt of course but I do need to really stay strong here

I would jus stop communicating with him altogether, communicating with him is just giving him more opportunities to hurt you / insult you / call you a liar