Page 7 | Boyfriend has just blocked me

kissmyfatass · 09/04/2025 14:59

What a twat. You’re well rid of this tosser

Gogogo12345 · 09/04/2025 15:01

What a tosset. Sorry to hear this but you will be better off without him. This kind of behaviour only gets worse rather than better

ByGoldMember · 09/04/2025 15:02

Glad you have finally got rid of him. Put your children first and take your time before any new relationship.

StrangerThings1 · 09/04/2025 15:17

Sodthesystem · 09/04/2025 14:26

I agree to some extent. Like it's very important not to mention prior relationships being abusive to people you are dating (just 'oh we weren't really compatible so decided to split' and refuse to go into any details).

But people who have been through abuse often have 'tells'. At least until they are healed. Perhaps things like over-apologising. Also, maybe being over accommodating to being messed about.

Abusers try their shit with everyone too. It's just you're more likely to keep them around long enough to continue their bs if its what you're used to tolerating.

Edited

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Agree about the ‘tells’ that’s why if you come out of an abusive relationship you should really examine your behaviour and what happened in the past so that you are not giving off these signals

I definitely think not telling potential new partners about previous abusive relationships is a good idea until you are fully sure of their intent and you completely trust them, not sure I would even tell them at all though

I remember a old work colleague telling someone at work that she had been bullied in her previous office ….then a few months later the person she had confided in that she had been previously bullied actually began bullying her as well…..I think because she knew this person had let it be done to her before so she knew it would be easy to bully her again and saw her as weak!

NattyQuail · 09/04/2025 15:18

The boyfriend of Kiena Dawes was like this. I think he's in prison now for her manslaughter.

He's done you a massive favour. I echo what everyone else has said.

MumWifeOther · 09/04/2025 15:19

Wouldn’t be surprised if he’s the one cheating..!

1HappyTraveller · 09/04/2025 15:25

Looks like you got handed your ‘get out of jail for free’ card on a plate!

Run!!! FAR!!! …and fast!!!

🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

IButtleSir · 09/04/2025 15:27

This is what's known as the trash taking itself out.

DonnaSueWeloveyou · 09/04/2025 15:31

Namechange2609 · 09/04/2025 06:58

Thank you - i have heard of the freedom programme before.

usually the demands start when he first wakes up “make me breakfast then” so closing the window is the least of it, although again being called dumb because he assumed I didn’t do it is crossing the line

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The more you post the worse he sounds.

Please Google: shark cage metaphor developed by Ursula Benstead

You might find it really helpful. Sounds like your shark cage is very flimsy with huge holes at the moment.

Please don’t take him back when he comes crawling x

Original poster

Namechange2609 · 09/04/2025 15:32

I genuinely have no interest in perusing another relationship, but I absolutely will take this as a learning for next time.

I really really appreciate all the comments

OP posts:

RosaMoline · 09/04/2025 15:40

Well done OP. Look after yourself & be strong. 💪
You've got this.

FleaBeeBob · 09/04/2025 15:47

Mice on, don’t go back

Beeloux · 09/04/2025 15:50

I had an ex like this. I’d been making dinner and cleaning, had my phone on charge so didn’t see the message until hours later. He had a big tantrum and blocked me because obviously I was out with a man hence not replying. 🙄

Found out after we split up he had cheated the entire relationship. It’s usually the controlling pricks that expect you to reply straight away. Projecting their own guilt onto you.

You can almost bet as soon as he blocked you, he would have been back on the dating apps looking for some ego feeding.

11thofNever · 09/04/2025 15:51

Op you are going to need some coping mechanisms for when you start to feel a bit lonely and would like some company or start to think maybe he's changed.
Please read the freedom programme, even if you've read it before.
If you feel like contacting him post on here for support.

Thegreyestate · 09/04/2025 15:52

this is extremely abusive OP, and will only get worse

TheRoundTable1983 · 09/04/2025 15:52

He sounds absolutely insane!

IMustDoMoreExercise · 09/04/2025 15:54

You have had a lucky escape. So pleased that he did this now and not once you had kids.

You should be very happy.

Imbusytodaysorry · 09/04/2025 15:54

@Namechange2609 if your kids come first. Remember that they need a mum who isn’t being broken mentaly by a sick nasty fucker of a human.
I am angry and feel sick for you .
He will up his game if you block him he will be sort and begging . He will hoover you back in again and it will effect your kids
Can you delete his number and change yours.
It really would be for the best .

Original poster

Namechange2609 · 09/04/2025 16:01

Luckily I have lovely friends around me and family, they are here to support me and hold me accountable, but also thank goodness for the support on here!

OP posts:

RosaMoline · 09/04/2025 16:07

As PP said above, don’t hesitate to come here if you’re having a wobbly moment & thinking about giving in & taking him back/contacting him.
I felt so lonely at times, I caved several times, and the following day I despised myself.
As time goes on, you get used to it & the temptation fades.

IndigoBrave · 09/04/2025 16:11

Leave this man. You can’t go through a life of this behaviour constantly

Inertia · 09/04/2025 16:14

This man is abusive. It’s hard to see any positives in the relationship you describe, and I agree with PPs that Freedom Programme or therapy may help you to set safe boundaries for yourself.

Block him on everything. He will expect you to jump up and beg him forgiveness.

Also consider changing your locks. Do you have any home security?

Bobbie1976 · 09/04/2025 16:14

Namechange2609 · 09/04/2025 01:44

Oh god help please..

my boyfriend of 7 months has just blocked me and ended our relationship based on the fact that this morning he whatsapped me to go and shut the kitchen window whilst he was in the shower. The message didn’t pop up on my phone (must of been signal). He came into the room to say did you not get my message? I said no and I went onto WhatsApp and his message popped up.

he has blocked me because he thinks I turned my notifications off because I must be speaking to other men. He also gave me the silent treatment all day and night and I had no idea why until a couple of hours ago.

i do not deserve this and it’s absolutely disgusting but obviously I’m hurt and taken back and need some tough love!

I'm no expert but in my experience of late, he's a prick. Sorry. And a possible narcissist. Well rid.

crunchybiscuitandtea · 09/04/2025 16:15

Block back ,do a happy dance, and move on knowing bullet dodged - what an utter fud!

Sodthesystem · 09/04/2025 16:23

StrangerThings1 · 09/04/2025 15:17

Agree about the ‘tells’ that’s why if you come out of an abusive relationship you should really examine your behaviour and what happened in the past so that you are not giving off these signals

I definitely think not telling potential new partners about previous abusive relationships is a good idea until you are fully sure of their intent and you completely trust them, not sure I would even tell them at all though

I remember a old work colleague telling someone at work that she had been bullied in her previous office ….then a few months later the person she had confided in that she had been previously bullied actually began bullying her as well…..I think because she knew this person had let it be done to her before so she knew it would be easy to bully her again and saw her as weak!

Show quote history

I think bullies like to pretend to be compassionate so they drag your vulnerability out. Then use it against you. Sometimes they over share first to foster a feeling of trust -to get you to overshare back.

Yeah it's difficult because you might think after a few months when you are going out properly, it's safe to say more. But some of these assholes don't start dropping signs for a year or more. And if you've told them some history at 6 months in, it's just more incentive for them to dig their claws in, thinking if you've tolerated abuse, you will again. Even just mentioning little shitty things the ex did could be a green flag to them that you might be tolerant of bs.

I think if I ever felt the need to say anything about an ex being awful or said something without thinking - l'd add 'and that's why he's an ex, because I dump at the first sign of bullshit. Like, bye bye asshole'.

Try not to let them know deal-breaker behaviour though. Because they'll just avoid it in favour of different games.

It's the same as never answering the question 'what do you look for in a man?' because if you do, anyone who has an agenda with that question will try to become what you say you want (and even nice people might do so subconsciously too). It's a good opportunity to say 'just someone that is being themself and we are compatible, I just take things as the come'. If you notice a flash of annoyance on their face at any point of this answer, you know to run fast and far as they were definitely hoping for a character idea to morph into.