Boyfriend has just blocked me

[Namechange2609]

Oh god help please..

my boyfriend of 7 months has just blocked me and ended our relationship based on the fact that this morning he whatsapped me to go and shut the kitchen window whilst he was in the shower. The message didn’t pop up on my phone (must of been signal). He came into the room to say did you not get my message? I said no and I went onto WhatsApp and his message popped up.

he has blocked me because he thinks I turned my notifications off because I must be speaking to other men. He also gave me the silent treatment all day and night and I had no idea why until a couple of hours ago.

i do not deserve this and it’s absolutely disgusting but obviously I’m hurt and taken back and need some tough love!

Ooooooh that’s sad. This young man has a big problem. Unless he recognises it and gets help you need to save yourself I’m afraid.

It’s hurting him more than it’s hurting you.

Read that again.

Please explain this logic to me

You came onto this forum for advice and logistics but continue to ignore advice or logic, read the room and stop giving space to this person that has abused and made you out to be a bad influence to your children in your life, but you continue asking questions, its not normal its abusive to your mental health and that involves your children to a certain extent, because you are giving this head fuck person space and taking that headspace away from your children, I hope you get help and wish you health and happiness for the future xx

Exactly this !
Stay with this guy & things will go from bad to worse fairly lively..
I know you’re upset , but lot nicer out there for you than him & you know this surely , stuff like that doesn’t go on In healthy relationships, so no matter what good points this guy has , they 💯 couldn’t outweigh the bad , given what you’ve just said , so be strong, as hard and all as that can be , and remind yourself , this guy isn’t for me ..
There is someone out there waiting to meet you OP ..
Good luck X

I've read it four or five times and I can't work out what this is meant to mean either.

It is hurting the OP. Who gives a fuck if her ex-twat is hurting himself mentally, or is some sort of tortured soul, he's an arsehole and its not her problem.

Sad that you should have put up with him for this long.
Obviously ditch him if he tries to come back.

This is a ‘Bye T*ty McT*tface 👋🏼’ moment.

Right now it’s you or him and who blinks first.

You go back he wins and will ramp up his behaviour all to keep this round of love bombing and then withdrawing to break you and any self confidence you may have left.

You draw a line and block and delete and you will hurt him, because right now he believes he is in control, has you right where he wants you and is, quite honestly, loving the power rush it gives him.

So, what I think a prior poster was trying to say is that the best way to win (and upset and hurt him) is to take away that power by being sensible enough never to expose yourself to his brand of ‘being a man’ ever again!

When i left my ex, I spent time alone just being me and finding out who I was. I was single for about 8 years before I wanted to be with someone again. Please rediscover yourself and realise you're worth a million times more than what he could ever give you x

I’ve read your replies and see he unblocked you to message you again.

can you not block him in return? Don’t engage in conversation because it will just wear you down as he goes about in circles. Which is what he wants to do.

you will lose every bit of sanity and self value if you allow this clown to keep contacting you.

block him.

Stop wasting time and emotional energy on reading his messages. Either they make you angry or they'll make you doubt yourself. You haven't said one thing about him that makes anyone here think he is a good person to have in your life. Go clean your oven or eat chocolate or tickle your youngest DC. Or anything to distract you.

Congratulations on getting rid of this massive dickhead. Your life will be so much better. Do perhaps thinking about some therapy or counselling though, so you’re able to sort the wheat from chaff in future. You really don’t want another shit bag like this again.

OP, you must block him. Read nothing he writes, answer no calls. Every time you reply is proof to him he can control you. He won’t stop. He does not care what you think. He cares that he can goad you into replying.

He is potentially dangerous. Men like him are the basis of men that kill their spouses, that stalk ex girlfriends and often harm them.

He is an abuser and a user who gets his kicks from manipulating and abusing women like you. He knows you are better than him. You are a prize…but you must be knocked down so he can feel he is superior.

As long as you obsess about him and his behaviour, he is winning.

For your children, stop and give your mind to them..not to the abusive ex

I wish I’d had help and advice before I wasted years on such a man, thinking there was a human being there. There isn’t. He’s a monster. ..it’s classic abuser behaviour and will never change. Part of the brain is undeveloped…the part with empathy and it cannot be cured.

Excellent 👌
The trash took itself out.
You lucky thing.
Give yourself a big hug, go out and treat yourself, pamper yourself.
Take good care of yourself.
He'll be back, though.... please don't let him back into your worthy life.
He'll only sabotage it.
Hugs 🤗 ♥️♥️

Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out.
He's not only bad for you, he is also bad for your children. As a mother, you have an absolute responsibility to not subject your children to his bad behavior, most especially towards you.

Reading his messages is the last thing she should do. It’s a victory for him and he will keep sending them. She needs to cut this narcissistic creep out of her life completely. Give him an inch, he’ll take a mile. If he persuades her back, it will be to punish her for trying to dump him. He is evil. I know it sounds ott but they come from a mould, all shaped basically the same with same reactions and behaviours. Some more extreme than others. All a waste of time

The OP isn't interested in following everyone's excellent advice to block the creep.

Agree with you. There’ll be another thread in a couple of months after he’s reeled her back in, treated her like shit again and screen still confused - but hasn’t and wont block him.

Well done for ditching this infant so easily. If you continue contact with him, you know what to expect. Your poor kids.

Don’t be harsh. Unless you’ve been in an abusive relationship you have no idea how hard it is. Statistically women go back to abusive men 7 times before they leave for good. Just because people are demanding she block him doesn’t mean she should. I didn’t block mine for ages and even when I did he found a way to contact me/send me flowers etc.
It’s not a straightforward path - abusive men have you in an addiction cycle and it depends on your own ability to be strong which is all rooted in other psychological and past trauma issues.
So what if she comes back in a few months asking for more help - she’s a human being and fallible. Leaving an abusive man is a process and people should not be demanding she do exactly what they say!!

Please throw this one bavk - he’s unhinged

The OP is an adult who will proceed as she sees fit, whether people on mumsnet like it or not. This is a chat forum, a source of advice...no one posting here is obliged to follow instructions or accept being sneered at when they don't.

Dont be a dick. It can be unbelievably hard to leave and your smug quips certainly won’t help

But it’s been 7 months, it’s not 7 years and 2 kids. I don’t understand why after 7 months someone calling you a cunt, demanding you make them breakfast everyday and accusing you of cheating because you didn’t instantly jump when they sent you a message to close a window is someone that you have so much love for that you can’t break up with them without loads of angst and soul searching and hand holding. Even if this man had done none of those things and was perfect beyond compare, 7 months is nothing in the grand scheme of things.

Op you need to get a grip and just block him. He doesn’t and cannot and never will love you. You cannot love someone better. He doesn’t deserve you trying to do that. Love and respect yourself and give yourself a chance to live a happy and peaceful life.

Please don't go back to him love, or anyone else like him. Play that Taylor Swift song on repeat.

🎵 We are never, ever, getting back together, like EVER! 🎵