Boyfriend has just blocked me

[Namechange2609]

Oh god help please..

my boyfriend of 7 months has just blocked me and ended our relationship based on the fact that this morning he whatsapped me to go and shut the kitchen window whilst he was in the shower. The message didn’t pop up on my phone (must of been signal). He came into the room to say did you not get my message? I said no and I went onto WhatsApp and his message popped up.

he has blocked me because he thinks I turned my notifications off because I must be speaking to other men. He also gave me the silent treatment all day and night and I had no idea why until a couple of hours ago.

i do not deserve this and it’s absolutely disgusting but obviously I’m hurt and taken back and need some tough love!

Please take the advice given and finally block for good

You need to block him otherwise he’ll send you round the twist with his ‘push and pull’ dance.

It's a shit or get off the pot situation. You're wasting your time and your children's chance of a secure environment to live in. These men just move on with speed & you'll be kicking yourself you didn't deal with it now.

He is abusing you emotionally.
No child deserves an emotionally abused mother, all wrapped up and desperate for help with her abusive BF. “Oh god please help me” was your plea just yesterday remember?

Children need good strong role models and attentive, happy mums.
But you aren’t ready to cut your 7 month attachment to your very nasty BF because you still have feelings? What depth of feelings can you possibly have developed in 7 months other than contempt for the man, and OP what about your feelings to do right …the very best you can, for your children?
How can you do that when you are in a situation that makes you cry out to god for help.

You appear to want him to continue with his abusive messaging.
How is that ever going to be good for your children ?
Just because he hasn’t got a key doesn’t mean they aren’t affected by your sadness and desperation with his behaviour.

Either you want him back or you don’t, in which case you will end it properly and block him
Stop fooling yourself.

Block him OP. You're playing silly games now because you are addicted to him. He is a drug and you are craving him or rather how he makes you feel when he's love bombing you. That's not real it's a figment. A projection of your hopes and longings onto a weak, cruel, abusive child.

There's no 'methadone' programme for this, there is cold turkey detox with loved ones for support. That's it. Time to stop hoping he will suddenly become a man capable of loving you, it isn't going to happen and he will destroy you if he can because that's what he is, destruction, sickness and death. The sooner you realise this the sooner you will wake up and walk away for good. No process needed, that's your addicted part craving him and seeking reasons to justify keeping him.

Think of you and your children. Hit Block, walk away. Best of luck

OP, I think I understand where you're coming from - I think you're hoping for some sort of closure. For him to acknowledge and accept the relationship is over. Maybe even for him to accept some responsibility for it ending and to acknowledge that his behaviour has not been acceptable. And so you are still engaging - you want him to understand your point, you want to tell him some home truths etc.

Unfortunately, with people who have narcissistic traits, that's never going to happen. So as long as you remain in contact, it will all just continue. He needs you to be upset and angry and reactive - and so he will simply continue to say and do things that will lead to this response.

It's hard but the sooner you can accept that, the better. Trust me - his next message (and it will come whether you initiate conversation or he does) will be more statements that will upset/hurt/enrage you. Not any sort of apology or acknowledgement of poor behaviour.

Leave the drama queen now.

You absolutely do not need any convo with him. That will not help you hearing all that happened in his head crazy enough to just bin block you.

You need to see how a horrible person he was by his actions and not his words. Then you will move on.

Facebook status
Newly single now that the toilet goblin has done me a huge favour & dumped me.....
Anyone fancy going day drinking to celebrate 😊🍾🥂🍾🥂🍾

I don't use WhatsApp and block anyone who texts. I look at my phone twice a day to read emails.
I'm fed up of people wanting.

Any text hes sends now, u do not humour, you do not reply!!! Why did u reply to his last text, you gave him the satisfaction of having a go at you again. Delete his number and move on! I cannot believe u have been putting up with his behaviour and it’s only 7 months in, u should have ran for the hills the first time you noticed these behaviours. Pls work on yourself OP, don’t put up with another crap man going forward. There are lovely ones out there though, but choose wisely, especially when u have kids

Good that you realise. Get yourself back together. Work on you. Leave men alone and enjoy the summer. Do not get distracted from working on what you really want and do not compromise next time. Good luck. Now put all his stuff in a bin bag and tell his mate where it is so he can fetch it and move on.

Delete him, he sounds like a childish, immature git - you should be happy to find this out now!

The worst thing he's done here is about to be the best thing to happen to you

Congratulations on escaping his paranoid controlling rollacoaster!!!

He sounds like an absolute tool and frankly you are well rid; oh and by the way, block his number so he can't send you snide messages - then move on and forget him

This.
You’ve not seen or heard the last of him I’m afraid. Not a chance in the world.

YABU because you seem upset and hurt when you should be f** ANGRY.

But good riddance and focus on your own self respect and don’t repeat.

You block him now.BTW I hope he doesn’t have keys to your house. Change the locks if so.

Your feelings are for the guy he pretends to be when he’s being nice. He is not that guy. That’s an act, a mask to draw you in over and over.
The real him is the abuser, the one who gives silent treatment just because he can. Think Jekyll and Hyde, though Jekyll is the worse in my head, because he is the lie..he’s the trap. Hyde is real. Vicious, lacking in empathy, unable to love anyone, but capable of pretending. Learned behaviour not genuine caring.

You should stop responding. Block everywhere.
At their worst, these guys can be dangerous.
Im glad it was months and not years..don’t feel bad or angry with yourself. They are practised deceivers with a tried and tested script that many of us fall for.
You will be wise to remember the red flags for future.

Edited a spelling error

Do not go back to him, this is what he wants, please use this as a chance to get away from him

Sound like a gaslighting narcissist, who is probably projecting what he is doing behind your back, onto you!

I get it OP. Can I recommend two things?

1. Write a list of things you won’t miss. Be specific. Refer to it if you’re feeling wobbly and it will serve as a relief
2. You can mute and archive him on WhatsApp so you can choose to read his messages rather than him just popping up unexpected

Freedom programme is great, I'd recommend too
All the things you've said are all. Classic abuser tactics. He has more flags than a rally in Moscow

My experience is , if he is accusing you of looking at other men its him that is looking at other women. Sorry to say this but it's usually the way.

You are well rid of him. Keep it that way.

Couldn’t agree more. I stayed with someone like this and he turned me into a nervous wreck, he even accused me of cheating when I was at work. 8 years and 2 kids later I finally left. I’m still scarred now. Don’t put up with it x

Once someone 'punishes' you whether for something real or imaginary, it's time to run. That's not how an equal relationship works and it means there's no respect. He's done you a favour.