I'm not sure if I fit in on MN because I'm less well-off financially than the average poster

[OtherHalfMNer]

I've been on MN for a couple of years now. I can't help but feel like I am operating in a different financial plane compared to the average MNer. I drive a small car (2018 plate Fiesta) while I see a lot of MNers who talk about having SUVs. I think if there was a car to represent the average MNer, it would be a new or nearly new Range Rover or similar luxury SUV. A 2024 plate Evoque, which is a popular model on MN, starts from 40k on the road according to a quick Google. The difference in what car I drive (or can afford) compared to most MNers is just the start of it though. Regarding schools, I have read that private schools account for around 7% of the total number of children attending schools in the UK. If I had to guess what the figure is amongst Mumsnetters with DCs specifically, I'd be willing to wager that it's a significantly higher percentage. I have 2 primary age DCs who attend a state school which is rated as requiring improvement by Ofsted. There are no better state school alternatives locally. I would love to be able to send them to a private school. There are 2 within a 10-mile radius of where we live which are rated as outstanding in every category. Unfortunately we simply can't afford the fees. We'd need to take on significant debts which wouldn't be sustainable. I've noticed that whenever grocery shopping is discussed, Waitrose and M&S are invariably the top preferences on MN. I go to Tesco as I can't afford M&S or Waitrose food prices. The theme continues with holidays. The DCs have never been to Disney World in Florida. I sometimes feel like everyone on MN has been there with their DCs. As with private schools, I would dearly love to be able to take them there, but we just couldn't afford the cost of such a trip. We can barely afford one holiday a year, and only to Europe with budget airlines in the cheapest seats available. I regularly see MNers talking about going on multiple family holidays per year, including long-haul flights with BA and other such airlines.

Last but not least, I must also mention the house I live in. It's a small terraced house with 3 bedrooms in an undesirable urban location in the north of England. The average MNer seems to commonly live in a 4 or 5-bed detached in a leafy suburb, often in London or the south east. I'm wondering if there are any other posters who, though not necessarily living hand-to-mouth or struggling to make ends meet, are under no illusions about the fact that they are worse off than the average person on MN? I still find the site to be a useful resource for support and advice, but I feel I don't quite fit in due to not being able to relate to the lifestyle enjoyed by other regular posters. It's not so much a case of how the other half live - on MN, it's more a case of how everyone else except me seems to live.

The whole point is that, irrespective of your relative affluence (or lack thereof), your sharing, advice, insight, experience, humour and care are what you bring to the great smörgåsbord of the Mumsnet table.

Like you, I'm far worse off financially than many fellow MNers. By the sound of it, I might even be worse off than you, OP. In RL, I've a wide range of female friends whose lives and circumstances mirror the MN demographic: some who hobble by as single parents on poor public service remuneration and two who do little but lunch and ride, courtesy of significant inherited wealth, plus a few somewhere in between. People don't have to share similar lifestyles to get on and care for each other. There is definitely a place on MN for you, OP. Bring what you know and please don't compare yourself to anyone else.

Exactly. Such a strange original post. I've only been here for a few months but feel like it's a diverse group of people in terms of ages, incomes and areas we live in.

Where has the OP got this idea we all need to be in the same boat from? Odd.

I just sold my Fiesta! Couldn't afford to fix it 😂 I bought myself some new trainers instead, my new transport!

I do think a lot of fibs are told on MN. The site must have a good grasp of the true demographics. For example, if a large proportion of MN really was on six figures the site would have chosen a different partner for this venture?

Just spotted this competition, if anyone is interested!

www.mumsnet.com/articles/win-months-supply-little-explorers-meals

We are a 1 car household, a small car not an suv. Kids attend state school no way could we afford private. We can't afford even a cheap holiday abroad a year we do a UK break.
Live in a 3 bed in a rough area in the midlands.

we drive a 21 yr old car, shop at Lidl and Aldi and live in a 550k house with a mortage of 500 quid a month. It'a all relative OP, smoke and mirrors.

You do fit! We all do 😊 Remember a lot of people will also change various details when posting to avoid being recognised. I bet at least some have exaggerated their earnings and lifestyle.

It’s a chat forum for help and advice on hundreds of subjects - it’s who we are that can help, not what we have. Someone in a 100k role, with a nanny and private school kids will have had some similar experiences as people without “all that” and be able to share good advice.

As with anything, there are some posters who don’t “read the room” and are horrified we don’t all have savings, pensions, spare money etc and don’t seem capable of considering not everyone is the same.

I’ve been on here over 20 years and had so much amazing advice, have tried to contribute where relevant and just enjoyed scrolling different topics - the amount of knowledge about such a range of subjects is incredible.

AIBU is one of the harshest topics, with blunt replies a lot of the time; Sporner Corner is brilliant; Chat is gentler than AIBU; Relationships is a life saver and TV and Films has introduced me to loads of things I’d otherwise have missed.

Sorry, that was longer than I thought it’d be - stay OP - most of us are just doing our best to get through this funny old journey 😊

I live in a council house, albeit a detached one. I am single, have a child who lives with me, shop at Lidl and drive a Fiesta sized car. When DH had cancer through the pandemic I had some great support from Mumnetters.

If only......

DH and I have a combined income of less than £50k. My portion is very small, I earn less than the taxable amount.

Main car is 18 years old.

We are mortgage free now as it was originally taken out 30 years ago.

I don't have a very good pension. But at the moment I earn less than the current state pension pays, so assuming it will still be around in 7 years, then I will be better off than I am now. DH does have a decent pension though.

But we tick on, we have money to spend and save and what I consider to be a decent standard of living.

Take it all with a truckload of salt, OP. Isn't it something like 2% of people in the UK earn 6 figures? Yet they're all on here, posting every weekday. I don't think so.

I'm entirely reliant on benefits. Rent, and am on the wait list for social housing. Have no car. Shop at Aldi and Iceland.

You're on the wrong threads OP. There's plenty of threads where finances, class and upbringing doesn't come into it. Check out some of the forum sections that don't show up in Active or Trending much, there's one for just about everything you can imagine. There is also some long running threads on various topics that are lovely friendly places welcoming to all. I believe hanging out on AIBU exclusively and long term could destroy anyone's soul.

I also live in an un-desirable northern location in an end 3-bed terrace, your car is newer than ours, my children go to Catholic school (absolutely despised on here) and we can only afford a foreign holiday every other year.

I feel comfortable here. Own your choices and take up the damn room you deserve!

Oh and we shop in Aldi with a sprinkling of Asda - can’t afford Tesco prices

I’m a decent earner and work 4days a week, quite old, bought my house a long time ago, no childcare costs, house has been redone- bit by bit and is almost finished.
We are just about to buy an new (to us) electric SUV Mercedes. This will be a car we hope to run for at least 10 -12 years but will pay for it in the next 3. This is what we do, so for a couple of years we’ll be swanning around in a 50k car… then it’ll become increasingly decrepit.
I shop at Asda / Tesco and M & S, DH goes to Waitrose as it’s on his way back from the dog walk!
There’s a reasonably small number of people earning 150k plus (0.535% of the population of the UK).
I would imagine more than 50% of them are men (massively underrepresented on MN) Yet so many MN’ers and their DP’s earn this and have time to post on MN whilst doing so… someone ought to do some research into it.

I am totally broke. I'm an ill educated benefits claimant with no kids. Who loves smoking weed. And doesn't launder my sheets twice weekly.

So I wouldn't call myself your average MNer either. But it's a big place, plenty room for all of us x

FWIW, DH and I are in the top 10% and we both drive circa ‘12 plate cars and live in a three-bed terraced house, much the same as you do. Don’t fret the possessions. I often find the ones with the fanciest cars often have them on finance and can’t really afford them. Granted, if it brings them joy, let them crack on. Point being, you can’t tell by these things!

I wouldn't worry OP. I'm a single mum, my ds has never been to Disney, my car is also an 18 plate hatch, and I've never had Netflix or any other subscription. My house still needs work despite me working on it for the last 13 years.

My ds is a happy, healthy, teen. I doubt he'll go to a RG university (or any university if he continues to regard debt with horror).

But I beetle along quite happily. No-one here seems to mind 🤗

DH and I are teachers but I drive an ‘08 plate, we live in a deprived area, my kids go to the local comps and we shop at Asda. We do have Netflix though 😂

Im off to Google Wolf ranger cooker and fisher fittings now as never heard of either lol

I'm not rich nor am I piss poor ( although income wise I might be considered such)

Live in a 2 bed flat in a fairly middle class area. 16 plate car which I use for work. Travelling is my thing. I spend money on that rather than clothes house eating out etc

I live in SE of England.
Drive an average car.
Live in a three bed semi detached
I shop in Tesco
My son goes to a state school….

You’re assuming.

I agree, it is splitting hairs these days with a lot of supermarkets. I shop mainly in Lidl, and often chat to other MNetters who shop there/aldi/asda etc. That being said Asda's prices have been insanely high, a roll back at the moment I think finally! Sainsburys was seen as expensive and posh when I was growing up, it is crazy how things change. As for Waitrose, I don't understand the appeal!

We save with Lidl, and dh loves the online vouchers you get!

I think there will be a lot with debt to be honest, they don't disclose this. People give you their version of the truth, don't believe everything you read on here op.

There's a thread on here currently about where people put their savings that indicates to me than Mumsnetters are generally not well off as someone commented that most people don't have over 85k savings.

Lol that was me. I think if you look countrywide then that's going to be the case

My car is much older, I live somewhere quite shit and I receive various benefits on top of working part time. Trust me, you fit in just fine.