I'm not sure if I fit in on MN because I'm less well-off financially than the average poster

[OtherHalfMNer]

I've been on MN for a couple of years now. I can't help but feel like I am operating in a different financial plane compared to the average MNer. I drive a small car (2018 plate Fiesta) while I see a lot of MNers who talk about having SUVs. I think if there was a car to represent the average MNer, it would be a new or nearly new Range Rover or similar luxury SUV. A 2024 plate Evoque, which is a popular model on MN, starts from 40k on the road according to a quick Google. The difference in what car I drive (or can afford) compared to most MNers is just the start of it though. Regarding schools, I have read that private schools account for around 7% of the total number of children attending schools in the UK. If I had to guess what the figure is amongst Mumsnetters with DCs specifically, I'd be willing to wager that it's a significantly higher percentage. I have 2 primary age DCs who attend a state school which is rated as requiring improvement by Ofsted. There are no better state school alternatives locally. I would love to be able to send them to a private school. There are 2 within a 10-mile radius of where we live which are rated as outstanding in every category. Unfortunately we simply can't afford the fees. We'd need to take on significant debts which wouldn't be sustainable. I've noticed that whenever grocery shopping is discussed, Waitrose and M&S are invariably the top preferences on MN. I go to Tesco as I can't afford M&S or Waitrose food prices. The theme continues with holidays. The DCs have never been to Disney World in Florida. I sometimes feel like everyone on MN has been there with their DCs. As with private schools, I would dearly love to be able to take them there, but we just couldn't afford the cost of such a trip. We can barely afford one holiday a year, and only to Europe with budget airlines in the cheapest seats available. I regularly see MNers talking about going on multiple family holidays per year, including long-haul flights with BA and other such airlines.

Last but not least, I must also mention the house I live in. It's a small terraced house with 3 bedrooms in an undesirable urban location in the north of England. The average MNer seems to commonly live in a 4 or 5-bed detached in a leafy suburb, often in London or the south east. I'm wondering if there are any other posters who, though not necessarily living hand-to-mouth or struggling to make ends meet, are under no illusions about the fact that they are worse off than the average person on MN? I still find the site to be a useful resource for support and advice, but I feel I don't quite fit in due to not being able to relate to the lifestyle enjoyed by other regular posters. It's not so much a case of how the other half live - on MN, it's more a case of how everyone else except me seems to live.

Interesting you feel that way about the cars. It always seems to be people saying they drive a 20 year old car on £100,000. My circumstances are nothing like the average mn user going by posts. It is fun reading most ot the time and I just laugh over the impressions given about how people with less money than them live.

My 10 year old VW Polo, state school educated children and Aldi shopping habit hard disagree with you.

Yes I live in a big house in a great (not London/south east) area and have several holidays, but that’s because I’m at a different life stage. 10/15 years ago we lived absolutely pay cheque to pay cheque.

I’m no lesser or better than you, and you’re no lesser or batter than me

I have been on MN for a very long time and my experience has been that it is varied and diverse group of people. Some threads are clearly populated by people with money and conversely some are populated by people struggling financially. There are also plenty of people in between these two ends of the spectrum. I only post on threads i can relate to and i ignore those i don't find relevant. Also not every one one here is always truthful!

Lol. I'm a relatively high earner and we do have fabulous holidays. However, we live in a fairly ordinary 3-bedroom house in the Midlands, drive a small car that's over 10 years old and usually shop in Tesco. Oh, and I sent my dd to a bog standard state comp.

My advice would be to only believe maybe 25% of what you read on mn.

You Sound like my kind of woman so we can start a new clique if you like.

I drive a Fiesta, my kids slum it in state school and I shop at Tesco - I fit in just fine 😄

I think you’re inflating the average Mners’ income exponentially. There are large numbers of posters just getting by, or struggling on benefits, and frequent posts worrying about benefit cuts, or being unable to afford to leave unhappy relationships.

I very much doubt that you're worse off than me 😂

I think the demographics have changed hugely this last 15 years and most mumsnetters are on some type of benefit now.

The whole point of an average is that is represents a spread of data points.

I drive a small, cheap car that's almost 10 years old and wouldn't have sent my kids to private school whatever the circumstances (but we couldnt have afforded it anyway and they went to one of the least popular primary schools in the area and the closest secondary).

I live in London because that's where I was born. We are financially fine but we don't have a holiday home in the Dordogne

Posters in here cover a huge spread of incomes and demographics. There are those with 4 kids who all went private, went to that far-famed University of Oxbridge and have Magic Circle careers while another post will bring out all the people who were living independently at 16 and have 25p to last them until Christmas.

As with all averages, the truth lies somewhere in between.

Very strange OP.

I'm in a similar position to you financially OP, except we don't even own our house, we rent. Unlikely to ever be able to buy to be honest.

I do roll my eyes at some of the responses on here, some people are so out of touch it's unreal. My personal favourite recently was being told that people who don't have one years salary in savings should never go on holiday. I won't be taking that advice thank you very much!

But, I do still find the site useful. No matter how much money anyone has, a lot of the challenges with parenting are the same.

I can't say I really give too much thought to what cars other people drive etc. I was a lot better off financially in my late 20s, married to my first husband, owned a nice house and car etc. He was so abusive that I left with just a suitcase and signed everything over to him in the divorce because I just wanted to be free.

Money isn't everything. I'll never recover financially from what I went through but I honestly couldn't give a shit. I am now married to a lovely man and have a beautiful healthy daughter. We do still have a couple of holidays a year but I prioritise that and rarely spend anything on myself to be able to afford it.

I think it might be that it’s only the better off who post on the “how much money have you got” threads.

I live in a two bed in the North. My car is a 2007 plate. I earn £32k, live on my own and struggle.

On the plus side I have no debt and I am not the least bit interested in holidays (don't feel safe abroad never have, hate flying, like being at home) and have a business that's set me up for not struggling in retirement, so It's not all bad. But I am certainly not a high earning husband on 6 figures huge house in leafy suburb mumsnetter.

This may be confirmation bias. You see a lot of threads about council houses, financial struggles, benefits etc. It's a mixed bag IME.

Everyone's different I think. I drive a 2018 (small) Honda SUV, live in a detached 4 bed in a rural area on an acre of land, DS at state primary (rated outstanding to be fair but no private schools within a 50 mile radius), shop across Tesco and Asda for most of our groceries but also do Iceland once a month to stock the freezer and pick up bits in M&S too.

Definitely couldn't afford private school even if it was an option and, for us, our state schools are too good to justify it anyway. Holiday in Europe for a week once a year, prefer to go in April/May or sometimes September so we can afford slightly nicer on less money. This year will be our last year of ding that though as DS goes to secondary in September and it won't be as easy to go away in term time.

I absolutely run out of money every month without fail and have zero in savings but I think this would surprise most people who know me as I probably look more well to do than I am! Luckily DH is better with money than me so I can usually fall back on him for the final week before pay day!

Well, I'm on a state pension, drive a '67 plate fiesta and live in a 2-bedroom flat so can I join your clique or am I too old in my 70s?! Oh, and my granny's favourite phrase - 'she's all fur coat and no knickers' - so take a tablespoon of salt with some of what you read on here x

You have a 3-bedroom house.
You have a car.
Every year you have a one week holiday in Europe.

Sounds lovely!

Why do you need to fit in on a website? I live in a flat and I, shock horror, haven't got a car. I read Mumsnet for entertainment. Sometimes I find out something useful and often it's infuriating but I take everything I read on here with a pinch of salt.

Most threads here are fine and financial differences don’t even come to light. But I’ve also had moments here where people’s perception of wealth has shocked me, on one thread I got virtually laughed at by another poster for referring to a wealthy neighbourhood near me with houses averaging £5-7 million. In their opinion that wasn’t even expensive and that ‘real’ wealthy people have houses worth £20 million and have staff working in them. I was made to feel very silly 🤣

Then again, if you’re comparing yourself to people on Mumsnet, you’ll be ND, you’ll WFH, you’ll buy your clothes in Brora, you’ll not get on with your in laws ………

I love Mumsnet. Have been on for about 6 years or so.Yes there are lots of wealthy Mums but also some who are in benefits .I like that there are lots of different experiences , things to relate to ,feel sorry for whatever .There are something like 7% of DC educated privately .Doubt all MN have PS education! Theres a lot more to life than money though.You sound as if you are doing OK Not at Food Banks .Tesco is fine for shopping ,we go to Sainsburys which is similar . Sometimes M and S or Waitrose for a treat . My own Son failed his 11 plus ,went to Secondary Modern Boys school.Did very well ,Attended a RG uni has a MSC ! Stop comparing yourself to others .Eveyone would like a Private School but its out of reach for most of us

Average mumsnetter makes average salary and lives in average accommodation.
Well actually, average mumsnetter probably doesn't exist on here because people are either top 5% or on a breadline on MN... Nothing "just in the middle".
Finances are bit of an MN chicken. It either feeds 1 or 17🤷

I go to Tesco as I can't afford M&S or Waitrose food prices

Just to note that M&S is pricewise on many, many things like Tesco... Which is quite overpriced imho

On benefits, struggling to afford the rent/council tax and utilities on a relatively cheap rented house in a cheap area. You're doing just fine.

Well your set up is my goal op - I don’t drive, rent a two bed, single parent and we can’t afford foreign holidays.
Comparison is the thief of joy
ETA - oh, and I walk from Aldi to Asda sometimes to get the cheapest deals from each!