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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel miffed with my neighbours request?

968 replies

Aliceglass · 07/04/2025 18:52

I don’t know if I’m being sensitive or unreasonable here. My next door neighbour approached me at the weekend to give me dates of their summer garden parties.

For context, We live in a terrace of modern houses and we all have similar sized gardens, enclosed by neighbouring gardens, back and side.

So my neighbour told me about her planned garden parties over the next few months and there were 3 dates confirmed, 2 tbc.

But, she has specifically asked us that we don’t use our garden during the days of these parties.

I was a little take aback and said that we don’t have any scheduled bbqs or parties on those dates so they will be fine. But she said they didn’t want us to use our garden, AT ALL!
Apparently it will spoil the atmosphere if I was to “pop to the bins and empty my recycling” or if they could hear the washing machine on a spin if I left the back door open!

I did laugh at this stage and say well I can’t promise to not access my garden for the whole day.

She went on to say how her friends are “well to do” and they would expect privacy and not to be interrupted by unnecessary noise.

I got a little frustrated at this point and I asked if she was just letting me know or if the neighbours the other side were also being asked this. She assured me that, yes they were and they confirmed they won’t be using their garden or the gate to their garden at the back so as to not disturb her.

Am I being unreasonable to think that this request is unusually controlling?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
Mumblechum0 · 17/05/2025 17:18

Following avidly 😊

HumanRightsAreHumanRights · 17/05/2025 17:19

Can't believe you haven't done any karaoke yet.
Have fun OP.
At least half her guests are probably wishing they were at yours rather than hers.

MrsMoastyToasty · 17/05/2025 17:21

@WearyAuldWumman
Bagpipes
Drum
Piano accordian

Sounds like there's the making of a ceilidh.

HarLace1 · 17/05/2025 17:25

PLEASE for the love of God invite a load of feral kids round yours for a few hours. That'll show her to be a stuck up cow.

WearyAuldWumman · 17/05/2025 17:29

MrsMoastyToasty · 17/05/2025 17:21

@WearyAuldWumman
Bagpipes
Drum
Piano accordian

Sounds like there's the making of a ceilidh.

I did play my accordion for a 90th birthday party on a back green two years ago...

Not saying that I was good, but I was loud. nods

thenightsky · 17/05/2025 17:31

I wouldn't do any of these things. I'd just pop my head over the fence and ask loudly if I'm being quiet enough for her. Every half hour.

Is this quiet enough for you?
Am I still being quiet enough?
You ok? Am I still being quiet enough?
Sorry, I know I'm being quiet, but talk amongst yourselves while I just throw a couple of bottles in the recycle bin.
Me again! You must let me know if I'm being quiet enough.
etc.

OneNewLeader · 17/05/2025 17:32

I’d accommodate her wishes if I could. Keeps things sweet and you can ask for reciprocal arrangements in future. I think it’s a small kindness to someone who sounds incredibly insecure.

JustSawJohnny · 17/05/2025 17:33

Aliceglass · 17/05/2025 17:04

Update on the last hour!

NDN has a total of 7 guests and from what we have gathered from our well positioned ear wigging, some of these friends are from the tennis club. DH has been snooping on the cars, a few Hondas, one Tesla and one old school Jag.

There was an obvious surprised gasp of “ooo!” When I turned the hosepipe on for the paddling pool. One on my friends cackled in response and I could feel NDNs eyes burning at the back of my head accompanied with a loud pointing cough. I’m for it tomorrow!

DH has repositioned the bbq near the boundary, we have a brief westerly breeze today so I’m hoping they like the smell of hotdogs 😂

OP & co - I salute you!!

You are playing this so beautifully!

Hope the sun stays out so the kids get a good 3 hours plus out of that paddling pool 😁

BeaAndBen · 17/05/2025 17:34

OneNewLeader · 17/05/2025 17:32

I’d accommodate her wishes if I could. Keeps things sweet and you can ask for reciprocal arrangements in future. I think it’s a small kindness to someone who sounds incredibly insecure.

Too late. The 5 kids are visiting, the rosé is being quaffed and the paddling pool filled.

Madam Bucket and her tennis club friends will have to cope.

DontStopMe · 17/05/2025 17:34

I think you get bonus points if you manage to entice your neighbour's guests to your party.

JustSawJohnny · 17/05/2025 17:35

I do hope your karaoke mic has voice changing capabilities so you can treat the Tennis Club Cronies to Barbie Girl in a high-pitched chipmunk voice.

Muckybib · 17/05/2025 17:37

How entitled of her

FreezeDriedStrawberries · 17/05/2025 17:40

So my neighbour told me about her planned garden parties over the next few months and there were 3 dates confirmed, 2 tbc

Fair enough, considerate.

But, she has specifically asked us that we don’t use our garden during the days of these parties

That's where you tell her to get stuffed 😂
Or, if you're like me, say nothing as I'm a wuss but you bet I'd be out there on a sunlounger with a drink and a book every day of her parties.
Cheeky cow

murasaki · 17/05/2025 17:42

I have a mini theremin. I would have lent it to you if I'd been near.

Doggymummar · 17/05/2025 17:43

Such fun. My neighbours cut down the hedge between us last week so now they get an eyeful when I am making coffee naked in the morning. They have teenage sons so I imagine a fence will be going back up soon. I never used to make coffee naked.......

RareGoalsVerge · 17/05/2025 17:43

I think I am in love with you @Aliceglass
More power to your hotdog-flipping elbow.

MrsPositivity1 · 17/05/2025 17:46

You are in for it now @Aliceglass 😂

Iloveacurry · 17/05/2025 17:54

This is brilliant op!

Challenger2A7 · 17/05/2025 17:54

She doesn't have any wealthy friends, she just wants to fart about in her garden kidding herself it's bigger than it is.

LunaTheCat · 17/05/2025 17:55

I am in New Zealand and this thread has cheered me up no end during a very sleepless night.
Well done you !

Horses7 · 17/05/2025 17:56

Jeez! I’d be inviting my noisiest friends round for a party on those days and insist they call me Hyacinth Bucket.

babystarsandmoon · 17/05/2025 17:59

I’d crank up some Clubland from my teenage years and have a BBQ.

Baggyprincess · 17/05/2025 18:00

Great update OP, hope the coals are smoking! 🥂🍗🍷

Agapornis · 17/05/2025 18:01

Eurovision karaoke?!? With loud shouts of DOUZE POINTS and NIL POINTS

Agapornis · 17/05/2025 18:03

How about all the dance crazes - macarena, Soca Boys' Follow the leader, etc