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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel miffed with my neighbours request?

968 replies

Aliceglass · 07/04/2025 18:52

I don’t know if I’m being sensitive or unreasonable here. My next door neighbour approached me at the weekend to give me dates of their summer garden parties.

For context, We live in a terrace of modern houses and we all have similar sized gardens, enclosed by neighbouring gardens, back and side.

So my neighbour told me about her planned garden parties over the next few months and there were 3 dates confirmed, 2 tbc.

But, she has specifically asked us that we don’t use our garden during the days of these parties.

I was a little take aback and said that we don’t have any scheduled bbqs or parties on those dates so they will be fine. But she said they didn’t want us to use our garden, AT ALL!
Apparently it will spoil the atmosphere if I was to “pop to the bins and empty my recycling” or if they could hear the washing machine on a spin if I left the back door open!

I did laugh at this stage and say well I can’t promise to not access my garden for the whole day.

She went on to say how her friends are “well to do” and they would expect privacy and not to be interrupted by unnecessary noise.

I got a little frustrated at this point and I asked if she was just letting me know or if the neighbours the other side were also being asked this. She assured me that, yes they were and they confirmed they won’t be using their garden or the gate to their garden at the back so as to not disturb her.

Am I being unreasonable to think that this request is unusually controlling?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
ymemanresu · 17/05/2025 08:39

Hilarious, 😆 i could have so much fun if i was you on party days.Stupid cow . Where do you live? Im imagining somewhere like south west london.

Barbarahasescaped · 17/05/2025 08:52

Or set up a car boot sale in your back garden combined with a summer fete and invite the local Lord Mayor to open it and invite a few hundred people off Facebook. You could also have a firework display to music.

Jujujudo · 17/05/2025 08:55

I would wait until all her well to do friends are sipping cocktails in the garden - and then run around my own garden wearing nothing but a pair of sunglasses shouting: where’s my wife! Where’s my wife!
Then I’d lie on the grass smoking a cigarette while singing Yellow Submarine to myself.

TheyNicknamedHerTheBolter · 17/05/2025 09:59

Have a lovely day in your garden today, Op!!!

GenerousGardener · 17/05/2025 10:10

Looking forward to OPs update.

WhyamIinahandcartandwherearewegoing · 17/05/2025 10:20

@Aliceglass i’m so invested in this It’s just as good as the neighbour who wanted a posters downstairs bog window closed in case the smell wafted over to her garden guests - gotta love a batshit neighbour saga 😝

what outdoor activities do you have planned today - manure on the roses?

Charliecatpaws · 17/05/2025 11:53

TiswasPhantomFlanFlinger · 17/05/2025 00:41

@Aliceglass
Is your NDN Hyacinth Bucket?

My thoughts exactly

LookingAtMyBhunas · 17/05/2025 12:02

I'm more excited for this party than I am for my own.

Thisisittheapocalypse · 17/05/2025 12:05

Aliceglass · 16/05/2025 18:41

I’m doing the washing up and nosing at my neighbour in her garden putting up bunting… looks like the party is on tomorrow!! 😂

Hope all the your children's friends are coming round for an impromptu bbq party today! Or a fence-painting party to mess with her 'colour scheme aesthetic' !

ZepherinDrouhin · 17/05/2025 12:12

Place marking. Good luck for today.

watchuswreckthemic · 17/05/2025 12:27

Popcorn 🍿 ready here for the updates

OldCottageGreenhouse · 17/05/2025 13:40

👀

OneAmusedShark · 17/05/2025 13:42

🍿

AlliBallyBoo · 17/05/2025 13:46

I hope you've got a smokey BBQ going op.

Projectme · 17/05/2025 14:17

We have a similar neighbour; a hybrid between Margot Leadbetter (the good life) and Hyacinth Bucket. Dreadful snob. We've been here 20+ years and she's moaned about the kids noise, the bins, the cats, the fact that we don't keep a perfect garden...swear to god she goes out there and trims her lawn with a pair of nail scissors. 😂

Hope you've arranged a bouncy castle and a smelly BBQ!! Hehe...

OldCottageGreenhouse · 17/05/2025 15:18

Fingers crossed OP hasn’t given in and gone out 😱

BrightYellowDaffodil · 17/05/2025 15:25

Get some extra food on the go and offer it to the guests over the fence: packets of Haribo, cheese strings, maybe some turkey twizzlers. Tell everyone that you know they won’t want any of that “fancy muck” and that you’ve got some Special Brew if they want a “proper drink”.

Studyunder · 17/05/2025 15:30

WhyamIinahandcartandwherearewegoing · 17/05/2025 10:20

@Aliceglass i’m so invested in this It’s just as good as the neighbour who wanted a posters downstairs bog window closed in case the smell wafted over to her garden guests - gotta love a batshit neighbour saga 😝

what outdoor activities do you have planned today - manure on the roses?

😂😂😂 I missed that one

Aliceglass · 17/05/2025 15:32

Hehe no I haven’t gone out and I have 5 kids over and two of my besties (of course, they were heavily invested)
It’s a glorious day so the paddling pool will be making an appearance shortly. Next door neighbour has just made an appearance, with two “well to do” friends so far. Party must have started at 3pm so I am hoping for more guests her side.
We are currently having a glass of rose while spying on them, we are trying to ear wig on their conversations too to see how high brow they are too.
Plan of attack is:

4pm paddling pool
4:30pm music
5:00pm light bbq
6:00pm karaoke

😂

OP posts:
Catofthesouth · 17/05/2025 15:45

Is her name Janet, by any chance? If so I know her, she used to live with my cousin and insisted they have ‘garden suite’ on their many speedy cruises (he paid).

ScruffMuffin · 17/05/2025 15:45

OP, you are just brilliant! Your plans haven't disappointed, and I hope you, your friends and all the kids have a wonderful afternoon! Most of all, I hope this teaches would-be posh neighbour that she can't dictate how and when people use their own garden!

AlliBallyBoo · 17/05/2025 15:57

Aliceglass · 17/05/2025 15:32

Hehe no I haven’t gone out and I have 5 kids over and two of my besties (of course, they were heavily invested)
It’s a glorious day so the paddling pool will be making an appearance shortly. Next door neighbour has just made an appearance, with two “well to do” friends so far. Party must have started at 3pm so I am hoping for more guests her side.
We are currently having a glass of rose while spying on them, we are trying to ear wig on their conversations too to see how high brow they are too.
Plan of attack is:

4pm paddling pool
4:30pm music
5:00pm light bbq
6:00pm karaoke

😂

Don't forget the fire pit at 7:30pm 🔥🔥

whatsappdoc · 17/05/2025 15:58

Is it a silent party? How would they hear the washing machine?

OldCottageGreenhouse · 17/05/2025 16:01

Nooooo start the Karaoke & everything else, all at 4! If you leave Karaoke until 6:30, then it may be over by then! If there’s no proper noise coming from yours for those couple of hours after they’ve started, they’ll think you’ve given in to them!

Thirteenblackcat · 17/05/2025 16:02

Aliceglass · 17/05/2025 15:32

Hehe no I haven’t gone out and I have 5 kids over and two of my besties (of course, they were heavily invested)
It’s a glorious day so the paddling pool will be making an appearance shortly. Next door neighbour has just made an appearance, with two “well to do” friends so far. Party must have started at 3pm so I am hoping for more guests her side.
We are currently having a glass of rose while spying on them, we are trying to ear wig on their conversations too to see how high brow they are too.
Plan of attack is:

4pm paddling pool
4:30pm music
5:00pm light bbq
6:00pm karaoke

😂

Love this ❤️