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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel miffed with my neighbours request?

968 replies

Aliceglass · 07/04/2025 18:52

I don’t know if I’m being sensitive or unreasonable here. My next door neighbour approached me at the weekend to give me dates of their summer garden parties.

For context, We live in a terrace of modern houses and we all have similar sized gardens, enclosed by neighbouring gardens, back and side.

So my neighbour told me about her planned garden parties over the next few months and there were 3 dates confirmed, 2 tbc.

But, she has specifically asked us that we don’t use our garden during the days of these parties.

I was a little take aback and said that we don’t have any scheduled bbqs or parties on those dates so they will be fine. But she said they didn’t want us to use our garden, AT ALL!
Apparently it will spoil the atmosphere if I was to “pop to the bins and empty my recycling” or if they could hear the washing machine on a spin if I left the back door open!

I did laugh at this stage and say well I can’t promise to not access my garden for the whole day.

She went on to say how her friends are “well to do” and they would expect privacy and not to be interrupted by unnecessary noise.

I got a little frustrated at this point and I asked if she was just letting me know or if the neighbours the other side were also being asked this. She assured me that, yes they were and they confirmed they won’t be using their garden or the gate to their garden at the back so as to not disturb her.

Am I being unreasonable to think that this request is unusually controlling?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
Onlyhereforthebatshitneighbours · 04/05/2025 11:04

I also came on to suggest a bouncy castle - for the adults too!

Bunnyisputbackinthebox · 04/05/2025 11:07

Littledrummergirl.
You do know it isn't M&M don't you????

ScruffMuffin · 04/05/2025 11:07

And a hot tub!

Itsoneofthose · 04/05/2025 11:08

Very cheeky and rude. But if you’re feeling kind you could take it that maybe she’s feeling nervous.

Ronathediva13 · 04/05/2025 11:09

17th is Eurovision. Perfect for a Eurotrash themed party and the worst Spotify playlist in history!

IzzyHandsIsMySpiritAnimal · 04/05/2025 12:25

DaisyChain505 · 07/04/2025 18:54

I would purposely be out there in my grottiest pyjamas dragging the bin around whilst shouting to my husband inside to pour me a glass of wine.

I'd be asking friends to come and help me beat the rugs in the garden too.

HelplessSoul · 04/05/2025 12:33

Fucking soiree. What a stupid cunt neighbour.

17th of May is a good day to do DIY, the garden, bring round your relatives and have a colossal piss up and water fight!

Your neighbour is a complete and utter fucking ass hat.

WheresYourSnickers · 04/05/2025 12:38

HelplessSoul · 04/05/2025 12:33

Fucking soiree. What a stupid cunt neighbour.

17th of May is a good day to do DIY, the garden, bring round your relatives and have a colossal piss up and water fight!

Your neighbour is a complete and utter fucking ass hat.

... a good day to get a load of manure delivered for the veg patch 😆 💩
(Maybe equally painful for OP though, but funny!)

HelplessSoul · 04/05/2025 12:43

WheresYourSnickers · 04/05/2025 12:38

... a good day to get a load of manure delivered for the veg patch 😆 💩
(Maybe equally painful for OP though, but funny!)

...or have that delivered to the fucking soiree neighbours house!!

GrumpyInsomniac · 04/05/2025 12:44

17th is Eurovision, so the perfect time to host a watch party and BBQ. Bonus points for fancy dress and tuneless singing along to your favourite entries.

Richiewoo · 04/05/2025 13:03

Tell her to piss off and use your garden how you like.

GabriellaMontez · 04/05/2025 13:19

So funny!!

B1anche · 04/05/2025 17:16

GrumpyInsomniac · 04/05/2025 12:44

17th is Eurovision, so the perfect time to host a watch party and BBQ. Bonus points for fancy dress and tuneless singing along to your favourite entries.

Oh yes...and Eurovision karaoke all afternoon to get in the mood!

GoodCharl · 04/05/2025 17:36

Get a piss stained mattress out on the front garden for 9am 17th May! Then invite the local yobs on their stolen moped to do a few loops outside the house right on time for the guests arriving. Rev that engine 🤣

anothernameanotherplanet · 04/05/2025 20:31

Children's party....... One of the last we had was my son's 18th.

My youngest daughter had pestered us to get a swimming pool, the sort that's sits on your lawn (and ruins it)

At one point in the evening I noticed that some were skinny dipping/running round the back garden with little/nothing on.

Might your children's party ascend/descent to this level?

BashfulClam · 04/05/2025 22:27

I’d be full on National lampoons Christmas vacation. Outside in my dressing gown and pants ‘morning, shitters full!’

BashfulClam · 04/05/2025 22:29

You need cousin Eddie

To feel miffed with my neighbours request?
Numberfish · 07/05/2025 18:02

I would laugh out loud and tell her that was really funny. What a sad individual to put her ‘well to do’ friend’s pretentious aural sanctity over her neighbour’s BEING ABLE TO USE THEIR OWN HOMES. Where do they make these narcissistic cretins?

Jambolass · 07/05/2025 18:18

Do you know anyone who plays the bagpipes? If so, invite them round too.

Perimama · 16/05/2025 17:59

Aliceglass · 04/05/2025 10:35

Haha this is excellent! Go squirrels!

Sorry I didn’t update yesterday.

I hadn’t seen the neighbour to speak to since posting. Yesterday morning, I boldly ventured in to my garden. I know, how dare I! What a rebellious act, seeing as it was off limits!
I made sure I took my lawn mower with me too.

DH waved me on from the kitchen and started playing the Bridgerton playlist on Spotify loudly, in an attempt to drown out the sound of the lawn mower, to ensure elegant ambience was achieved from our side.

Anyway she came out in her garden and I shamelessly mowed my whole garden while her eyes burned deep in the back of my skull. I thought “I’m for it here!”

Once finished, she shouted “Coo-ee” in that faux posh voice of hers. Anyway the “soirée” has had to be postponed because one of her guests had been in hospital. She said she is trying to reschedule the next one for the 17th May but she is waiting on rsvps.

I responded back saying I had totally forgot about her party today! Her face was a picture.

I then responded “Great! The kids have a party booked in for the 17th (we haven’t). You are welcome to have your soirée at the same time as the kids are having their party!”

She looked taken aback. I made my excuses and returned to DH’s Bridgerton rave. I suspect the Soirée will be moved…

Good luck with your party tomorrow OP 😂

Aliceglass · 16/05/2025 18:41

I’m doing the washing up and nosing at my neighbour in her garden putting up bunting… looks like the party is on tomorrow!! 😂

OP posts:
ScruffMuffin · 16/05/2025 18:52

Quick! Invite all the neighbourhood kids around to your 'party'! Be sure to give out water pistols and party blowers, and play a really cheesy selection of kids' songs.

grumpygrape · 16/05/2025 18:56

Oh, OP, what do you have planned ? Nasty cheap burgers on a BBQ, bonfire maybe, obviously only works if the wind is in the right direction. Lemonade and Traybake stall in the back garden with signs inviting all local children ?Bouncy Castles, one for children, one for adults ?

We need regular updates and photos 😄

Birch101 · 16/05/2025 18:56

Bouncy castle delivery on deliveroo 🤣🤣

Birch101 · 16/05/2025 18:57

Oh and play black lace superman song!!!

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