To feel miffed with my neighbours request?

[Aliceglass]

I don’t know if I’m being sensitive or unreasonable here. My next door neighbour approached me at the weekend to give me dates of their summer garden parties.

For context, We live in a terrace of modern houses and we all have similar sized gardens, enclosed by neighbouring gardens, back and side.

So my neighbour told me about her planned garden parties over the next few months and there were 3 dates confirmed, 2 tbc.

But, she has specifically asked us that we don’t use our garden during the days of these parties.

I was a little take aback and said that we don’t have any scheduled bbqs or parties on those dates so they will be fine. But she said they didn’t want us to use our garden, AT ALL!
Apparently it will spoil the atmosphere if I was to “pop to the bins and empty my recycling” or if they could hear the washing machine on a spin if I left the back door open!

I did laugh at this stage and say well I can’t promise to not access my garden for the whole day.

She went on to say how her friends are “well to do” and they would expect privacy and not to be interrupted by unnecessary noise.

I got a little frustrated at this point and I asked if she was just letting me know or if the neighbours the other side were also being asked this. She assured me that, yes they were and they confirmed they won’t be using their garden or the gate to their garden at the back so as to not disturb her.

Am I being unreasonable to think that this request is unusually controlling?

Is her name Hyacinth Bucket? 😅

Dress code: casual but colourful?

With an added "Oi! Do us a roll up would ya!" even if you don't smoke, or do roll ups if you do!

Otherwise, please say you have small kids who'd LOVE a water fight for 10 mins during their "garden party" (who tf has "garden parties" other than the King?!) - lots of squealing necessary plus they're great fun!

You could have SO much fun with this OP!

As PP have said - I thought they were being very neighbourly giving you notice, but the rest is bonkers!

Funny moment back in the day when neighbours were in and out of each other’s houses.
My brother and I were off school summer hols. I was sunbathing with headphones and my brother was getting ready to go out.
He was shouting ‘get us a bog roll will ya?’ out of the bathroom window. I did not hear.
Our very posh neighbour walked around into our garden, through the patio doors (I had my eyes shut as well!) up the stairs and knocked on the bathroom door and passed it it in - hope this does the trick, Ian!
My mother was RAGING when she got home. To be fair the neighbour was posh but also had an amazing sense of humour.

Actually - this is a point. Did she only ask you to stay out of your BACK garden?

You could put some really awful looking deckchairs out the front, get a pack of Tennants 4X in a coolbox and rush out to sit there just as the guests arrive. Please make sure you're still in PJ's and haven't brushed your hair.

Then as NDN comes out looking horrified you can say "Afternoon Sheila! Keeping out of the back garden, just as you'd asked! Want a tin??"

Do you know any children you could invite for candies, a round of basketball playing against a brickwall and a water fight to the tunes of their favourites children's music loudly played in your garden?

Your neighbour is being absurdly ridiculous and deserves for this to bite her in the butt. Her rich and snobby friends expect privacy and a quiet neighbourhood just for them? Well, bring it on.

All the neighbours in the street should park their cars on the road in front of their own houses the night before.

Maybe everyone on the street could have an open garage sale on that particular Saturday.

Not possible, at that point they've "Gone Native" like John Dunbar in Dances with Wolves

You evil genius.

Surely a spontaneous carnival or street festival would be more fun.

At the beginning of said “party” I would have a cigarette hanging from my bottom lip, husband dressed in a string vest doing much needed work in the garden, bins outside the front of the house, washing machine on non stop with the back door open, constant tinkly laugh, husband then up a ladder and cleaning out the guttering whilst giving a running commentary on contents of the guttering, washing out all over the place including Juliet balcony, kids out with water pistols and several long fake telephone calls to someone on Death Row in the USA.
I can’t bear people who look down on others or treat other people the way your CF neighbour does. She could have her party elsewhere leaving you to enjoy your weekend doing what you please in your own home and garden.

I'd put out a saucers or sugar syrup for all those poor hungry wasps right next to the adjoining fence. Of course the day before the scheduled next door bun fight would be the day I spread garden manure on the roses. Oh and I'd forget to bring in the glasses of half filled wine and smelly cheese we left out from the night before. Nice of them to let you know when it's happening!

I don't know what's more shocking: the CF neighbour's request or the fact that approx 49 MN'ers voted that the OP is BU!

No way would I go along with this suggestion Just who the fuck does the neighbour think she is?

hahaha you are a better human than me OP - would be having a rave

Yes she made no mention to the front garden! Also I have a side gate as I’m at the end of the terrace… if I accessed my bins around the front, would this count!? 😆

Oooh so if you're the end terrace that means she's having her "well to do" friends round to her mid terrace. Even funnier!

I would send her a text:

Hi Mrs Bucket,
Regarding the conversation about your parties on X & X dates, to reiterate, we have no issue with these dates and will not be having parties of our own on those dates however we will be using our garden / property as normal,

Regards
Aliceglass

Let her know how it will be in case she wants to cancel the parties for fear her ‘posh’ friends might catch sight of the neighbours

The women’s Euros is on so you could also string up the St George’s flags bunting to support the Lionesses’ (did she not know you’re a huge fan?!).
seriously though - you and your neighbours should be able enjoy your properties/ gardens without being policed by Hyacinth.
i do think she’s shot herself in the foot a bit also- if my neighbours were having a party I’d probably just go out for the day and leave them to it but as your neighbour has been so unreasonable I would be doing something to make her cringe!

This post started off with me asking thinking it was nice of them letting you know when to expect some noise then soon turned into madness 😅

This is a joke yes?
Or your neighbour is Hyacinth Bucket... A total snob.
I wouldn't oblige her personally. Just be you. Rude and stupid of her not to invite you ....then you wouldn't be using your garden
..

@Aliceglass
When you paint the fence, make sure it's in nice striped neon, glow-in-the-dark colors. Don't forget to paint both sides so they'll match.

😆 It is! She lives in a mid terrace, on the edge of a council estate (our gardens don’t touch the council houses but spitting distance) I don’t know how she survives here!? Unless I’ve got it wrong of course and she’s referred to her street as “mews living” to her well to do friends! I’ve counted up and there’s at least 12 houses that could easily interrupt this garden party, I wonder how far she’s gone with asking people near us!?

@Aliceglass I'd either charge her £500 for you not to use your garden all day!

Or I think I'd rather go with the fun option. Buy a multi pack of bright pink thongs and hang them out to dry. Comment loudly how you've accidentally washed your husbands white stripper thongs with something red.

I'd then download a farting app then keep stepping out every 5 minutes with a smart speaker, a strained look on your face then let out a cracker. Comment "ohhhh that's better. Better out than in huh?".

I would have to hang a line of really really super tacky slutty knickers on the washing line !!

Such a shame you can’t get Daisy, Onslow and Rose - and dear daddy, of course - round when Mrs Bucket is having her parties, @Aliceglass!