To feel miffed with my neighbours request?

[Aliceglass]

I don’t know if I’m being sensitive or unreasonable here. My next door neighbour approached me at the weekend to give me dates of their summer garden parties.

For context, We live in a terrace of modern houses and we all have similar sized gardens, enclosed by neighbouring gardens, back and side.

So my neighbour told me about her planned garden parties over the next few months and there were 3 dates confirmed, 2 tbc.

But, she has specifically asked us that we don’t use our garden during the days of these parties.

I was a little take aback and said that we don’t have any scheduled bbqs or parties on those dates so they will be fine. But she said they didn’t want us to use our garden, AT ALL!
Apparently it will spoil the atmosphere if I was to “pop to the bins and empty my recycling” or if they could hear the washing machine on a spin if I left the back door open!

I did laugh at this stage and say well I can’t promise to not access my garden for the whole day.

She went on to say how her friends are “well to do” and they would expect privacy and not to be interrupted by unnecessary noise.

I got a little frustrated at this point and I asked if she was just letting me know or if the neighbours the other side were also being asked this. She assured me that, yes they were and they confirmed they won’t be using their garden or the gate to their garden at the back so as to not disturb her.

Am I being unreasonable to think that this request is unusually controlling?

I'd be as near to nude as possible, and singing loudly!

Start calling her "Hyacinth Bucket"

This is absolutely bonkers! Your neighbour is totally out of order.

I feel a drum workshop coming on, with plenty of hippy types and a bit of weed to waft their way. Cheeky mare!

Definitely the hot tub. And maybe a noise complaint on the night.

No, don't use manure, use manky used cat litter that has been fermenting in a box for a few weeks. It's rank, especially if it's been allowed to warm up.

Then shout in your best Hyacinth Bucket voice

"Emmet! Is that you?" - then burst into song.......😂

“Well to do”? Are her guests the Major and the vicar? Does your neighbour have a sister who has a Mercedes, swimming pool and room for a pony at her gaff?

I also have cat litter from 3 cats, great suggestion from pp there.

I remember living in Officers' family quarters, if one had the bbq going then bratties etc were tossed along the gardens then sent back ready to eat with rolls and all the trimmings!

Hyacinth Bucket!!!!!! is your neighbour.🙄

What you need is a bucket of hyacinths to place by her front gate about 10 minutes before the start time.
Actually you will probably need several to keep replacing them as they get noticed.
Plastic hyacinths are available.

She's taking the absolute piss and either her friends are insufferable or she's socially anxious and possibly a raging snob

Some great suggestions here from pps.

Do you know anyone who has a pet hamster/rats/mice, hop over her fence and sprinkle their poop like an enthusiastic flower girl right before said party

This. She can fuck off.

Have a fireworks party on each of the dates of her soirees. Have loads of your own friends round with any children they have. Plan some party games and races for them with lots of cheerleading and shrieking. 🤣🤣

Honestly, your neighbour is a cheeky fuckwit. I'd have told her that I was fine with her soirees but would offer her no guarantee that I would not be doing similar in my own garden.

This would be a good time for you to suddenly decide to try anal gazing, sunning your bum hole with incense burning and singing bowls playing with a few mantras chucked in for good measure.

Oh and don't forget to leave a pile of rubbish bags at the front of your house, because your dustbin is full.....isn't it? 😂

can you hire a bouncy castle and invite a load of kids round and provide lots of sugary snacks?

You might want a BBQ on those days as it might be hot. I would not want to take orders from a neighbour.

OP, this has won the internet for me today! I’ve laughed out loud at the cheeky fuckery from your NDN.

Clearly you are going to ignore her request and be as loud and obnoxious as possible. Please, please, please report back after garden party number 1. 😃😃😃

wow 😂😂😂

Tell her you also have plans confirmed to be in the garden with your children on those dates so sadly, there's a bit of a diary clash.

However, as a good neighbour, you do offer a service in which you take your children out for the day instead so as not to cause noise and as she's a neighbour, you'll accept a discounted rate of £100 per day to do so.

Payment upfront and everyone's a winner.

I've posted this story before.

I used to live in a terraced house with neighbours who were really loud and also liked to mix with friends who considered themselves above the common folk. When they built a bar at the bottom of the garden, I knew it was going to be a pain. The gardens are only about 30 feet long and 10 feet wide so we were right on top of each other.

I'm autistic and struggle with noise. Unfortunately my study was right at the back of the house and I was working when they held one of their rowdy garden parties. I was desperately trying to work and just being blasted with noise and constant shrieking from their garden. I think that's what drove me the most mental - the screaming from the bottom of the garden to someone who was in the house. Repeatedly. Oh, and the performative laughter and screeching. And this went on from hours, starting just after midday.

I realised the only thing to do was to blast out some music of my own to drown the fuckers out. I hadn't really used iTunes that much but I had it synced up to the speaker. So I put some music on and it really helped me concentrate. I managed to tune out the music (constant noise is easier to ignore than intermittent screaming) but gradually I realised that I'd been playing The Cunts Are Still Running the World by Jarvis Cocker. At full volume. Absolutely no question at all that they heard it. Not censored. Full obscenities.

It wasn't even a song I'd downloaded. I think someone had sent it to me as a joke, and it had saved into my Library.

I turned it off as soon as I realised, but obviously they'd heard. They did seem a lot quieter afterwards, but I'm not sure if that was my imagination as I couldn't stop laughing to myself. It might just have been that I stopped caring because I was too amused 😂

Do you have a washing line? Put your ugliest underwear on the line and leave it there all day.

Play some prodigy at full blast

sprinkler on only slightly wetting their side

bonfire

buy lots of wind chimes

lawnmower

hire a bouncy castle