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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

MIL wants to kiss baby but gets coldsores

133 replies

Itsrainingfrogs · 07/04/2025 14:42

I have an almost 5 month old baby, and we told everyone there would be no kissing the baby when she was born (she was born in peak cold and flu season) which is what the NHS recommends.
MIL started kissing her when she was around 3m old and when we reminded her again that we didn’t want the baby to be kissed she “thought it was ok now she wasn’t a newborn”.
Baby is now 5m and I know it will come up again. AIBU to say that I never want my MIL to kiss the baby due to the fact she gets coldsores?

MIL also puts her fingers in my baby’s mouth, and sprays her with saliva when blowing raspberries which also annoys me so I’m not sure if I’m just being precious/an overprotective first time mum.

OP posts:
seasidesalt · 09/04/2025 14:33

NavyTurtle · 09/04/2025 14:12

Are you for real - this could kill her child.

  • Transmission:
  • The virus can be transmitted to a baby through direct contact, such as kissing or touching a baby with an active cold sore.
  • Serious Complications:
  • Neonatal herpes can lead to severe complications, including organ damage, blindness, seizures, and even death.

But there was no mention of an active cold sore in the original post…

Terrribletwos · 09/04/2025 14:37

Breadcat24 · 07/04/2025 21:32

YANBU
I cannot understand how people are so stupid about herpes- including people who have posted on this thread about their right to kiss babies
"Cold sores are caused by a virus called herpes simplex.
Most people are exposed to the virus when they're children after close skin to skin contact, such as kissing, with someone who has a cold sore.
Once you have the virus, it stays in your skin for the rest of your life. Sometimes it causes a cold sore."

How selfish- a kiss for you makes someone else have a condition for life

Exactly. I would not allow this and I am pretty liberal on most things. But this would be an absolute no no!

Saveafun · 09/04/2025 14:54

If MIL is so slapdash, how does her son, baby's father not have them, or is he not allowed to kiss baby either?

My Dad has them, he's very affectionate, but wouldn't have kissed us or anyone else with an active sore. I've never had them, neither has DSis or our mum.

Of course she shouldn't kiss baby when she has a cold sore, but that's not the same as not allowing her to kiss baby because she "gets" coldsores.

UndermyShoeJoe · 09/04/2025 17:03

I’d hazard a guess the trying to stomp on boundaries means op doesn’t trust mil to not prioritise her daughter over wanting those kisses with a tingle.

bakebeans · 09/04/2025 19:45

Anxioustealady · 08/04/2025 18:56

Me - "other people's babies"

You - "my own babies"

🙄

Show quote history

Again read the post and my post and people who get cold sores posts. No one would or should be kissing a baby ( including own) husband, parent, boyfriend, other peoples children with a cold sore or one brewing.
Some of posters on here are saying never to kiss anyone if they have carry the virus whether dormant or not! Dear me. Would it be more appropriate to explain on a chalk board?

Anxioustealady · 09/04/2025 20:34

bakebeans · 09/04/2025 19:45

Again read the post and my post and people who get cold sores posts. No one would or should be kissing a baby ( including own) husband, parent, boyfriend, other peoples children with a cold sore or one brewing.
Some of posters on here are saying never to kiss anyone if they have carry the virus whether dormant or not! Dear me. Would it be more appropriate to explain on a chalk board?

Edited
Show quote history

You've already replied to that comment, and I purposefully did not respond because I see no point going back and forth with you.

Stop implying I'm dumb. I'm not, I just disagree with you.

bakebeans · 09/04/2025 20:50

Anxioustealady · 09/04/2025 20:34

You've already replied to that comment, and I purposefully did not respond because I see no point going back and forth with you.

Stop implying I'm dumb. I'm not, I just disagree with you.

Show quote history

Oh stop acting like you are then!

Anxioustealady · 09/04/2025 20:53

bakebeans · 09/04/2025 20:50

Oh stop acting like you are then!

Show quote history

Leave me alone! I don't even know what you're arguing with me about anymore.

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