To ask a parent to move their buggy from a café so I can sit down?

[TheUmberFawn]

Went to a busy café at lunchtime. One table was occupied by a mum with a large pram taking up the space of two chairs. There were no other free tables, so I asked politely if she could move it so I could sit. She gave me a dirty look and mumbled something about needing space. I get that babies come with stuff but why should that mean no one else can sit? AIBU for asking?

OP, can you please answer the crucial questions: where was the baby when you asked the question, and where were you anticipating the baby to be if you had sat down?
also, if mum was at one seat, on a chair, and the pram was parked in the other “seat”, where was the second chair when you asked the question?

YANBU, OP
Sick of entitled parents leaving prams and buggies scattered around. Was in a 'naice' market town last week. Went into a shop for coffee, all great until about 5 mins before we left.
Seemingly, every 'Motherland' and/or NCT mother pitched up for coffee, rearranging all the tables, sitting at occupied tables without asking, just throwing a 'yes, challenge me if you dare' stare, and buggies/prams left strewn between the counter and lavatory with impunity.
Yes, of course, no-one on MN would behave like that, just pointing out how selfish parents with prams can be in public places. They are not Madonna's deserving of special treatment,

There's a divide between people who see cafe tables as communal if necessary and those who view them as personal space. Given the price of coffee and cake in a cafe these days, I'm inclined not to want to share a table with a stranger. I hate watching other people eat and don't fancy spending money to do so!
OP should have considered the woman might also not want to share, instead of assuming an entitlement to the space - as has been said, it was fully occupied by 2 people.
I also don't know many crowded cafes that have room for folded up prams/buggies anyway - that suggestion can be more hassle than it's worth and moving a buggy can just block aisles.

I think that if a cafe is so busy there are no free tables you get a takeaway or come back later.
It's rude af to just assume you can plonk yourself down on someone else's table and ask them to move to accommodate you. I'd have said no!

As nuts as the OP.

It's not normal to share a two-person table with a stranger anyway. Strange request.

Oh, please do explain your entitlement to rudeness.

I would hate to share a two person table with a stranger. YABVU.

This. Not in a typical cafe..maybe like an airport cafe with 2 adults at a push. There were no free seats so you don't get one.. annoying but the way it is.

Your rant was completely irrelevant to this post. The pram wasn’t blocking the way, the woman with the baby wasn’t the one trying to sit at occupied tables, the OP was.
You seem to just look for excuses to go on crusades against mothers with young children.

That's a very strong (and incorrect) assertion

Yeah YWBU. It’s not normal to sit down opposite a person on a two person table if you don’t know them. She had the table already plus needed the space for the baby.

Also I remember feeling incredibly self conscious that I was in the way when I was in a cafe with a buggy and I always tried to angle it with least annoyance to people but they are often bulky things! I think it’s just kind to show a bit of consideration to new mothers and give them a bit of space and peace. It can be quite daunting to get out with a baby.

Not in my world it isn’t!

And yet OP in this scenario was doing most of the things you moaned about mothers doing but you ranted about this one for daring to own a pram 🤦‍♀️

I’m with everyone else - the mum was with her baby so there were two of them taking up a two person table. YABU.

It is normal in most people's worlds!

It’s not normal to share a 2 person table stranger with a stranger already sitting there with her child.
I’ve never been asked, asked someone or seen this happening in a normal cafe. It's really weird to force yourself on someone like this.

It's really not a big deal if a place is full and there's no other seats. It's actually the decent thing to do if there is room on your table and normal people would have no problem with it. What do you think is going to happen if a stranger shares your table, the world will not end. Fair enough though if there was no room.

There wasn’t room, the woman made that clear to OP and she sat there anyway.
There were already 2 people at a 2 person table.

she had a 2 person table with 2 of them at it, one in a buggy. Very unreasonable. Where was the baby to go? Where was the pram to go and not be in other people’s way. I’d have been miffed as well and probably rushed to leave as soon as you sat down

Sorry OP you’re being unreasonable. There were 2 people at a 2 person table.

YABU, I would have been annoyed too.

HRTFT but my local cafe has a sign up asking that larger buggies be left outside. It’s not a big space and they create a hazard for the staff carrying hot drinks around, as well as inconveniencing other customers. So I don’t think it’s always unreasonable to ask. Fwiw this cafe doesn’t have a space for baby changing (there literally isn’t one, the single self contained toilet is shared with staff and is tiny) but it’s still popular and very much in demand with everyone.

That said I don’t know how pleased I would be if I sat at a 2-person table with my pram in the space of another chair, so not taking up any more room than another adult would, and someone asked me to move it so they could share my space. I did vote YANBU but when I read the details I changed my mind.

So your the cafe weirdo that just sits down at random tables of people already eating 😂 the space wasn't free the baby was using it

You’re being unseasonable. I would look at you as if you had two heads if you asked me that.

I go out for lunch with DIL and baby GC every week. I always pre-book with a pram-space. If they can't facilitate that we go elsewhere. YANBU and they would have been told to get lost.