DD friend is a furry/therian. Trying to encourage (strongly) my DD to be the same.

[Sockmate123]

What would you do in this situation? Child in class is 'recruiting' other children (mainly very quiet children) to be furries. She says she is a therian and presents as a wolf. School has banned her wearing wolf items to school but she still does on party days/world book day/non uniform etc
Parents seem to do littke about it
Quite older parents. Children are 10. My DD has so far not engaged but likes the child involved but is being pressured. It was her birthday recently and friend bought her a tail 🙄

I think this is completely weird. Child digs holes at lunch time, barks at people etc cute/acceptable up until age 5 or 6 but not girls that are on the cusp of puberty!

AIBU?
Yes- she's only a kid, will spon grow out of it.
No - its weird, school and parents should do more to address it

There’s more to this - read the op.

I’ve not seen a person dressed as a non human creature working anywhere. Where have you seen them working?

Why would anyone go to work in cosplay?

The word identify makes people lose all perspective.

Do people really think she believes she’s a wolf? Not pretend but an actual wolf?

I used to say I was an ewok.

The word identify is used more in society it doesn’t mean she actually believes she’s a wolf.

They dress normally.

Do you believe that this 10 yo is going to dress as a wolf and go to work as an adult?

If people on here legit believe this girl doesn’t know the difference between pretend and real than you should be ashamed of yourselves for bullying a child who has severe mental health issues.

No one really believe that though do they. It just an opportunity to bring up trans people. I swear people on here are obsessed with trans people and children’s sexuality.

It’s Incredibly creepy.

Right but this isn’t about cosplay.
Do you think you’re actually the cosplay character? Answer is no.These people think that they are the non human animal. Big difference.

Your comment on trans and child sexuality is from nothing I’ve posted btw.

As Safer Schools put it:
"Furries are also based around using their ‘fursona’ as an alter ego, whereas cosplayers typically only act like or ‘play as’ the character/person they are dressed as."

That's what I'm saying, if you read my comments. People on here are getting Furries confused with Therians. They're not the same.

Ah, I see your confusion. Furries cosplay as a hobby. They go to work in work-suitable attire. You don't really seem to know much about this for someone with such strong opinions.

Fully agree

this post needs pinning.
Sums up this thread right here.

Or people could read the very even-handed material on the Safer Schools site.
https://oursaferschools.co.uk/2023/04/24/furries/

Could you tell me a little bit more about the Safer schools site please? I tried to look them up online but couldn’t get much information about who they are and what they do.
Are they connected to the Safe Schools Alliance? It appears not?

I’m reacting to the OP. I’m glad that my family doesn’t have to deal with this nonsense.

From the Safer Schools 'About us' page.

"The Safer Schools Ecosystem is brought to you in partnership between Zurich Municipal and INEQE Safeguarding Group, combining over 250 years’ experience to create a multi-award-winning suite of safeguarding services.

The Ecosystem has been created by the experts at INEQE Safeguarding Group, led by CEO Jim Gamble QPM, founder of the UK Child Exploitation and Online Protection (CEOP) Centre."

More here https://oursaferschools.co.uk/aboutus/#:~:text=The%20Safer%20Schools%20Ecosystem%20is,safer%20gaming%2C%20and%20much%20more.

Yes I read that much. I was wondering if there was more.

Incidentally I had a look at the article you posted and it basically says- claims about children identifying as furries in schools have no foundation/ likely to be hoaxes. Nothing particular or wrong with “furry” community per se, which is also diverse and not just one thing.
however there are Always risks if children are engaging with online unknown people online.

Well, yes, I don’t think anyone would disagree with that. As a pp said - this is true regardless of what a child is into- football, gaming, whatevs.

As I said before, it also makes some very important points about discussing the difference between reality and fantasy, and what sort of behaviour is appropriate and respectful, online or offline.

In this particular case I don't believe that trying to influence other children into identifying as animals constitutes appropriate behaviour. Nor does digging holes and barking at people, for that matter.

@Lostcat also Furries are different to Therians. Also many posters on here think of it as a child’s game just pretending to be a cat so probably don’t think of an adult world out there dressing up as cats etc so maybe more lax about online content.

And with children who see this more than just a dressing up costume or a 20 minute game and then move on to something else, and who may not be happy with their life or who have other vulnerabilities they could become fixated on their new persona which could make them even more vulnerable. Which is discussed in that article.

Which is what many posters have said who have told parents to be wary and not blithely dismiss it as just a game. Most times it will be just a game. One poster earlier had said their DD was saying they were a Therian but had no idea what a Therian was and that, again most times nothing to worry about, but there is a dark element to it too.

My DS loves football and when he was old enough to have Instagram he wanted to follow a number of famous footballers. So we discussed how he must follow only the official pages and not random ones. Not to get into chat forums with people. And we monitored his phone and internet usage.

Much harder to tell who someone is on Social Media if they are in a costume or adopt a different persona

Understanding the difference between fantasy and reality is also always relevant to any conversation about online/ digital activities- gaming / films etc- again nothing new or worrying here.

in terms of “trying to influence other children into identifying as animals”, children engaging in fantasy play and seeking other children to join them couldn’t be more normal and appropriate- my children literally do it everyday. And digging holes in the ground and barking at people also sounds very normal . My kids play cats and meow all the time, and I’d have no problem with them playing outside.

All of this is adult projection and fantasy projected onto children in the form of a moral panic.

@Lostcat how old are your DC?

They are younger admittedly, but this child is only 10. Maybe she’s a little bit immature for her age but some kids are.

@Lostcat so you probably don’t have the worry of the internet yet and the impact of social media. But this does get younger every year.

But I would be worried about this particular child as seems very vulnerable particularly with their family background. So I wouldn’t just automatically be dismissing it as a childish game, especially as it has been going on for a number of years. Doesn’t mean I see all children playing being a cat as in danger

I don't believe that trying to influence other children into identifying as animals constitutes appropriate behaviour.

In other words, asking other children to play with you. God, what a weird re-framing.

I get where you are coming from but based on what we have from this post, I’m far, far more worried about the OP’s hyperbolic attitude towards this 10 year old and the perceived risk she poses to other children. To me that is the issue/ problem I see here- and ironically that -OP’s attitude/ beliefs- is itself a perfect example of the dangers /
problems of social media!