DD friend is a furry/therian. Trying to encourage (strongly) my DD to be the same.

[Sockmate123]

What would you do in this situation? Child in class is 'recruiting' other children (mainly very quiet children) to be furries. She says she is a therian and presents as a wolf. School has banned her wearing wolf items to school but she still does on party days/world book day/non uniform etc
Parents seem to do littke about it
Quite older parents. Children are 10. My DD has so far not engaged but likes the child involved but is being pressured. It was her birthday recently and friend bought her a tail 🙄

I think this is completely weird. Child digs holes at lunch time, barks at people etc cute/acceptable up until age 5 or 6 but not girls that are on the cusp of puberty!

AIBU?
Yes- she's only a kid, will spon grow out of it.
No - its weird, school and parents should do more to address it

Yes, but would you have been so accommodating had she of bought you a bale of hay as a present.

@OnlyMabelInTheBuildingit could still be exactly that, except that this child has been allowed unsupervised access to the internet. Maybe that’s the more worrying aspect of this situation.

I agree. People have lost sight of children playing innocent games and weirdly sexualise them. It’s bizarre. Just let kids play. If they want to pretend to be animals that’s totally normal - they shouldn’t be allowed to disrupt the school by wearing costumes and they shouldn’t pressure other kids - that applies to any game. If the child was pretending to be a princess and wearing a crown would anyone be calling them “mentally deficient”? No. Immature, maybe.

Nope. I'd be telling dd to dodge that friend. Very odd behaviour. By the child and parents. Why on earth would you allow such behaviour!

Great opportunity to teach your child about (1)peer pressure, (2) having confidence to stand their ground, and (3) people who really have your best interests at heart wouldn't pressure you to do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable

Regardless, I’d be telling my child to stay well away. If her parents want to let her become mentally ill, fine. But keep it to yourself and leave other children alone.

IF this is real, the school safeguarding lead should be speaking to the parents and asking them what their child is watching on her phone. They must be living in complete ignorance if they haven't heard all the recent discussion about children accessing inappropriate content online.

It is a blurry line actually. When my son was 3 I collected him from nursery and asked what he had been up to. He said he had been flying. I said that was lovely. Had his friends been flying too? He replied: No, they had only been pretend flying. Imagination in children is an amazing thing. There is a level on thick they all know, but they are also find it easy to immerse themselves in make-believe and experience the emotions as if they really believe it. A bit like crying in a film. I simply don’t believe that the 10 year old actually believes they are an animal on an ontologically or physically. It might be a bit of attention seeking, but secondary school will soon sort that out. The school are doing the right thing by not pandering to it.

No. Weird is what it is.

DS is 9 and sometimes pretends he is a cat - they play as animals in school sometimes. However, he knows he isn’t a cat and hasn’t asked for a tail! That is so weird

Therians are kangaroos and other marsupials, so what she doing claiming to be a wolf? Tsk.

I used to work in a pub and a group of furries used to meet up every month, like hired the pub meet up.

They were all weird, not a single one of them knew how to have an actual conversation, interact or just not be uncomfortably weird.

I would definitely not encourage this.

My question is… how do they know what a furrytherian or whatever it is, is?? They must have been allowed to consume all sorts of content on social media from a really young age. It’s totally on the parents and I would be returning the tail to them too.

My DD was a furry at primary but not at secondary. I ignored it, as thought it was harmless fun that she'd grow out of, and I was proved right.

It’s a good age to talk about peer pressure and how it’s ok to say no to things. Your dd may worry about saying no and hurting her friend’s feelings but her friend is the one doing wrong by applying pressure.

DDs friend went through a phase of this. Was crawling around meowing last year at DDs cinema birthday party while the film was on. She seems to have grown out of it but I have asked DD not to invite her this year. Like a real cat, she is actually quite feral and DD agrees she too much work now.

DD had a 'dog' in her school who would bring a packet of bonios for snack time. Apparently her parents encouraged her free spirited side and would practice agility in the garden with her. They were 14 at the time.

How do you know what the school is doing? They could be working on something, but this clearly has parental support.

Have a look at what went on with the now disgraced ‘head’ of Surrey Pride . He encouraged a young girl to dress up as a dog, and led her around on all fours wearing a lead. I will probably be reported if I describe the rest of her experiences, so you can pursue it for yourself.’Furries’ , ‘Pup play’ ‘’therians ’ and all the rest of it should not be part of a child’s vocabulary, let alone experience.

Burn the tail.

They are not.

well it's not mentally normal to act like that

I was at a motorway service station about 18 months ago and a girl (prob in 13-16yo age range) was dressed as a cat and meowing at her (presumably dad).

I assumed she was seriously mentally unwell as has never heard of furries before.

Then I learned of furries. But would still be getting my child some serious MH support if they went around meowing like a cat or mooing like a cow.

They are allowing it on party days/world book day/non uniform etc.

It should not be allowed at any time. It’s mentally ill, nonsense. It’s also massively attention seeking, and disruptive. Children go to school to learn. They should not have their learning disrupted by this filth.

A 10 year old pretending is not "filth". Seriously you sound deranged.

Well, if it falls into a book category on Book Day, there's nothing they can do.