DD friend is a furry/therian. Trying to encourage (strongly) my DD to be the same.

[Sockmate123]

What would you do in this situation? Child in class is 'recruiting' other children (mainly very quiet children) to be furries. She says she is a therian and presents as a wolf. School has banned her wearing wolf items to school but she still does on party days/world book day/non uniform etc
Parents seem to do littke about it
Quite older parents. Children are 10. My DD has so far not engaged but likes the child involved but is being pressured. It was her birthday recently and friend bought her a tail 🙄

I think this is completely weird. Child digs holes at lunch time, barks at people etc cute/acceptable up until age 5 or 6 but not girls that are on the cusp of puberty!

AIBU?
Yes- she's only a kid, will spon grow out of it.
No - its weird, school and parents should do more to address it

My kids are very young so I don’t have much experience of kids identifying as animals at school yet but I’m aware it’s become a “thing”. As with people with wildly controversial opinions, why give them a platform? Your DD’s friend could be identifying as an animal for various reasons - rebellion, attention, poor mental health, general identity confusion. It’s not that wildly different to the hardcore goth kids that were obsessed with death when I was at school. It could be attention seeking or seeking a way to rebel. I think the best way for everyone to deal with it is to ignore it, if she’s brave enough to be the only one in her school identifying as a (wolf was it?) then she’s clearly not attention-shy, possibly craving attention. If her behaviour is ignored and she’s left to get on with it and treated as a normal child wherever possible then she may realise no one cares if she’s behaving like a wolf and it’ll pass..or it won’t but that journey will be her own and she’ll grow into her own identify whatever it is. I think making a big deal out of it or banning it will just make it worse, she’ll want to rebel more, if that is what she’s doing. I’d tell your DD that people can identify however they want but it has to be what they feel in their heart, not to please others or to fit in and that she can be a girl and her friend can be a wolf and they can still be friends and respect each other’s identities. But that if someone tries to convince you you’re someone or something you don’t feel you are then that’s not being a good friend.

I'm not sure why people keep referring to Therian and Furries as the same thing. They're not. Furries are literally just cosplay. There's a huge community, and it's all about the artwork, character creation and costume making.

Unfortunately, a small percentage of men have turned it into something sexual, just as they have with everything else - babies, dogs, feet, etc. That doesn't mean that the whole Furry community are doing it for sexual reasons, the same as every person who sells shoes isn't.

@SquashedSquid but that is why some of us are telling parents to be mindful as there are some dodgy things on the internet to do with Furries, so their DC could see things or end up chatting with people they shouldn’t . It’s not all innocent fun. So them looking up Furry costumes might not be the search they were wishing for

And for the same reason it isn’t a good idea to just ignore this behaviour, as a parent you need to be mindful. When most of us were young and possibly going through a phase we weren’t being bombarded with or have such potential exposure to elements of that phase that are not good for young people

Exactly this. I pretended to be an animal at some point as a child as have my children. That is completely normal.
For people saying this is just a 'phase'....this child is identifying this way for 5 years and its only getting worse/stronger.

She encouraged other children 2 weeks ago to dig their way out of the school which the partially succeeded in, ie they burrowed a large hole under a fence and squeezed under out on to a road.

This is not a 'all kids dress up situation'. This is very worrying behaviour up to and including manipulation of others. I do believe the child has MH issues of some kind, as stated previously her Dad suffers with poor MH.

Do you really believe that society is crumbling because children think they are furry animals because of the internet?

@Lostcat I worry that there are children seeing unsavoury things on the internet when looking up Furries and that their parents are oblivious as they think they are looking up cute videos on YouTube and TikTok of children playing as cats etc. I worry about vulnerable children being sucked into things on the internet and again their parents are oblivious because they are just playing being a cat.

This might be a helpful educational article for all

"Furries don’t identify as animals...In the same way that cosplayers typically don’t believe they are actually Spiderman...Furries are a fandom, like anime, Star Trek or football. They enjoy bonding with like-minded others over things they have in common.
The fandom provides a social network for its members, and furries can benefit tremendously from these friendships. The inclusive nature of the furry fandom means that, for many furries, it’s a safe place where they can be their most authentic selves."

https://theconversation.com/what-are-furries-debunking-myths-about-kids-identifying-as-animals-and-litter-boxes-in-schools-193908

No need for all the moral panic.

I agree crumblingschools... Sorry @Lostcat. I was talking about the cutesy side of it which tweens love but this child has almost the level of sexualised behaviour. It is certainly not the type of behaviour I've seen from actual furries in the cosplay sense. I'd be a very concerned teacher tbh.

but this child has almost the level of sexualised behaviour

Such as?

@Lostcat that article although starting off about concerns with children and Furries then just really talks about the adult side of Furries, admittedly not the Fetish side. But talks about conventions, social media groups etc. Would you want a Primary school aged child on a chat group with adult Furries?

Also Therian is different to Furries, as they do identify with their character

The point is they are just a normal community of people, like any other community - they are not a threat to children in schools any more than gay people were a threat to children in schools n the 80s.
It's just the latest moral panic.

So you would be happy for a child to be in a chat group with adults @Lostcat

Why would anyone be happy with that? Whether the chat was about cosplay, Minecraft, or bananas, I wouldn't allow a 10 year old in an Internet chat.

That doesn't make Furries bad.

At some point though a person should act normal?

Exactly. And it doesn’t mean that a child hearing about and also enjoying cosplay, Minecraft and bananas is inherently dangerous and creepy. .

I used to run around the garden pretending I was Black Beauty when I was little but I knew I was only playing. My parents would have laughed and said not to be ridiculous if I started trying to say I actually believed I WAS a horse. Parents need not to be scared to tell their children it is not acceptable outside of fun playtime at home.

Pupils were told they would be reported to a senior school leader for refusing to affirm their classmate’s preferred feline identity. The teacher said they had “really upset” the “cat” by telling them “you’re a girl”.

After the pupils said they believed there are only two genders, the teacher said: “Why do you think we have so many problems in the world with homophobia?”

Sounds very like a couple of posters on this thread: one must respect the sacred "identity" under threat of punishment; can't tell the difference between same-sex attracted adults and people thinking they've changed sex; uses gay panic as an all-purpose silencer while seemingly ignorant of their own homophobia.

It's homophobic to conflate same-sex attraction with opposite-gender identity. This is because it rests on the assumption that each sex must be attracted to the opposite, so one partner must supposedly change sex. (Remember gay men used to be given compulsory hormone treatment.)

It's also idiotic, since the majority of 'trans' people are heterosexual - for avoidance of doubt, they want sexual relationships with people of the opposite birth sex to their own.

An animal "identity" has fuck all to do with homosexuality or homophobia.

I totally had crushes on boys when I was 9. You seem a bit weird.

Hard no to bullying as an answer to any question. FFS.

That's great, it seems you do understand pretending. This girl is pretending to be a wolf. Does that help?

"Deranged fantasies"? She's playing at being a wolf. What are you finding deranged in pretend play?

100%

Oh, right. The child is 10. Luckily, she's not interviewing for a Fortune 500 any time in the next few months.

My goodness, your post makes me sad. Best to bully the "freak" out of our kids, eh? Sounds totally healthy.

Good point. Next we'll be having outraged Mumsnetters on here warning about the dangers of our children having feet (which should be discouraged and reported to SS). Because some people on the internet have foot fetishes, don't you know. Huge red flag to have feet.

She sounds like fun!