DD friend is a furry/therian. Trying to encourage (strongly) my DD to be the same.

[Sockmate123]

What would you do in this situation? Child in class is 'recruiting' other children (mainly very quiet children) to be furries. She says she is a therian and presents as a wolf. School has banned her wearing wolf items to school but she still does on party days/world book day/non uniform etc
Parents seem to do littke about it
Quite older parents. Children are 10. My DD has so far not engaged but likes the child involved but is being pressured. It was her birthday recently and friend bought her a tail 🙄

I think this is completely weird. Child digs holes at lunch time, barks at people etc cute/acceptable up until age 5 or 6 but not girls that are on the cusp of puberty!

AIBU?
Yes- she's only a kid, will spon grow out of it.
No - its weird, school and parents should do more to address it

Because further up the thread people had said there is usually a cross over with being trans or gay

I thought your later posts agreed with me

Yes, but she was PRETENDING to be a horse, she wasn't 'identifying' as one. She knew she wasn't a horse, she was playing. It seems that, now, someone would insist that her school dinner was served in a fucking nosebag or something. Let children play without pathologising it, for goodness' sake. !

Hold on a second.

Furries (in the sexual sense) have a fetish. A paraphilia. Which means "abnormal sexual desires usually typified by extreme or dangerous activities." Furries who want to imagine themselves as animals having sex and who get a sexual thrill from dressing as an animal and wearing butt-plug tails are fairly extreme and fit that description particularly given the crossover with BDSM and people who are being walked around on collars and leads. So yes, an inappropriate concept of adult sexuality.

Are you saying that lesbian dating also fits that description?

Is it inappropriate for children to know that lesbians exist or just that they might go on dates?

It's the truth though, that child is not normal and is not mentally well, the child needs help but my child would not be responsible for coddling or carrying on this pretend play. So if the school took issue with it and decided to chastise me for saying that instead of parents allowing their child to pretend to be a fucking animal then I would very happily decide that that particular school was not the right environment for my child. I would either move school or home school. Easy.

You should tell your child not to conform, the same way you shouldn't expect this other child to conform to your own standards.

If your child wants to be a furry - Fine.

If she does - Support her and put your hanky away.

If she doesn't- Also fine!

If the other little girl is happy and her parents are happy - That is not your concern. I don't understand why an adult would be triggered by a child. You're triggered by the parents because maybe you wish you could pull that stick out of your bottom and be just as loving and supporting as they are.

C'est La Vie sweety...C'est la vie...

#FirstWorldProblems

Anyway! Wish I could stay and bemoan a child into make-believe, but I must pop to Waitrose before little Jenny has a tantrum over her lack of caviar. #ShitMumsClub

My niece used to play being a mermaid and had a mermaid outfit with fin tail. She would put it on the moment she got home from school until she went to bath and bed. She knew she was a girl playing at being a mermaid though. There is a big difference between a DC knowing they are human but playing at being something else to actually believing they are something else.

Obviously I’m not saying that 🙄. I’m just saying that a nine year old (OP mentioned that the 10 yr old had been doing this for a year) should not be thinking about ‘lesbian dating’.

Knowing about lesbians - yes, but a 9 year old thinking of herself ‘dating’ anyone is too young. Combine that with the ‘furries’ and she’s not in a good place.

There is a book series called ranger cats where there are these warring groups of stray cats fighting in the woods. Lots of kids who read them and saying they are therians are just acting out the scenes from these books.

I can’t believe how awful everyone is being towards a young girl, saying she needs to be bullied, is mentally unwell ect. Seriously you are all awful people. No wonder these kids want to be an animal when they look have how fucking vile humans are.

oh and you know what. I’m a teacher. The biggest issues in schools, not bloody therians, but the the batshit crazy rude entitled parents like all the ones here. Dealing with you lot of the shittest part of the job by a long way.

You are very ignorant. Read ‘The Gendered Ape ‘ . You’re being very forceful with your opinion without actually knowing anything about the subject.

This! What is wrong with people these days - having a moral panic about every bloody thing kids do and don’t do. So ridiculous.

“ lesbian dating” is an adult idea she should not be exposed to?

You understand she’s not actually dating right?

And as I said lots of kids have crushes and pretend relationships. Kids play pretend wedding all the time and being a parent. It doesn’t mean they are thinking about sex.

You sound incredibly homophobic.

It wouldn't bother me to be honest. If she was trying to get her to start smoking or drinking it would be different, but it's really not going to affect the rest of her life if she pretends to be a wolf for a bit.

To be honest the state of the world right now I might try it myself, it sounds like some peaceful escapism.

It's not obvious at all, there's no point doing an eyeroll emoji and hoping nobody notices that you think there's little difference between lesbianism and furries.

Lots of 9yos think of themselves as 'dating' - lots of adults encourage them to think of themselves as having a "little boyfriend / little girlfriend" from about the age of three - and yes it's twee AF and I discourage it, but you can't really compare it to furries.

Warrior Cats. And yes, I feel like a little escapism after reading threads like this where adults gleefully explain how much they would like to bully and ostracise my child and that it's my fault anyway - but I also am concerned that the escapism being offered to my child comes with grooming, and not the sort that involves pretending to be in River Clan.

I would have probably said this was totally made up only for the fact that last summer I was in the park and spotted a blue haired teenager whose gender was unclear with a younger tween who was sporting a fox tail and prancing around like said fox. It was utterly bizarre.

Where are people saying she needs to be bullied? You should report those, but I’ve just scrolled through the whole page 3 & 4 to catch up and don’t see it. I see people saying she needs to be parented, and she is increasing her likelihood of being bullied, some with examples of kids they knew. There are comments saying she’s mentally ill, which is too much. I suspect what they mean is that she is neurodiverse which I believe is much more likely with children doing this, and shouldn’t be referred to as mentally ill.

Here you go @Codlingmoths

“yes she has said for the past year she was a lesbian and was 'dating' another furry in the class”

Suggesting that it’s not desirable for a child to be quite so caught up in ideas of herself and adult concepts of sexuality is not homophobic. Hence I said she shouldn’t be thinking about dating ‘anyone’ aged 9. HTH.

Very odd.
Laugh about it and say how daft it is and that most people will think so too.
Say you think it’s so silly you’ll confiscate phone laptop etc etc if she even thinks about wearing a tail.

Do point out where I said there is little difference between furries and lesbians 🙄🙄That is now something you and the other poster have made up.

I mentioned the two things because they are the two things this little girl is into and as I said before, it’s fine for kids to know about lesbians but claiming to be a lesbian (which involves being sexually attracted to women) at age 9 implies a level of sexuality inappropriate for children. She claims to be a furry at age 9 (see, I’ve even separated the sentences so you can’t keep accusing me of comparing the two) which is inappropriate.

It’s sad that you can’t see that these behaviours are inappropriate for a 9 yr old and resort to attacking me for mentioning it.

oh and you know what. I’m a teacher. The biggest issues in schools, not bloody therians, but the the batshit crazy rude entitled parents like all the ones here. Dealing with you lot of the shittest part of the job by a long way.

What an awful attitude for a teacher.

That book sounds like it might be one of those grooming books intended to introduce adults themes to children. Like the grandpa book aimed at young kids that brought up girls having unnecessary double mastectomy and an old man in his fetish gear. All in the name of ‘inclusivity’. Would you be able to spot a grooming book?

And they are a bad person. The furry deserves better parenting and a clearer message from teachers

Here you go:

"this girl is clearly being exposed to inappropriate concepts of adult sexuality like furries and lesbian dating"

I can't see anything there that suggests there is no equiperation between the two.

Claiming to be a lesbian at 9 doesn't suggest to me anything more sexual than a little girl claiming she's going to marry a prince and become a princess. The chances are strong she'll neither marry a woman nor a prince. And the chances are even stronger that she was not thinking of sexual activity when she said it. Otherwise, books like Cinderella would be porn rather than nursery age reading books.

I think that’s a hopeful sign that you feel that way because thinking a child SHOULD be bullied is a really horrible thing to think. If I were you I’d concentrate on how unpleasant it feels to think like a bad person and perhaps avoid that in the future.