Paedophile taking his kid to sports at weekend

[Pumpkin05]

Long story short information has come to light someone I know was convicted and imprisoned for paedophile charges, some 20 years ago (Information is verifiable)
Flash forward he now has a wife and young child and takes said child to sports clubs and matches at the weekend.
AIBU to think this is strange, and not want my child to attend said sports matches with him there? or am I over-reacting?

I would check with the police he’s allowed to be around children serving time isn’t always the consequences he could have received. he will probably be on sex offenders list he may have a ban being around kids. Definitely worth looking into is it sarah law or Claire’s law you can ask?

I think that's rather naive. Paedophiles are sexually attracted to children. They will share the most innocuous imagery of children they deem attractive, i.e. playing a sport/performing in a school play all the way to raping babies. A person is either a paedophile or not, it's as black and white as that. A person isn't just 'kind of' a paedophile and will only be attracted to scantily clad children.

For those who have the stomach for it, Channel 4 did a harrowing but educational documentary last year called 'The Children in the Pictures'. The investigative teams who may it their lives' work to catch and convict paedophiles are immesureably brave. It's a difficult but necessary watch particularly in terms of how paedophiles operate when it comes to the distribution of imagery. And their behaviour escalates. So the type of sport wouldn't make one jot of difference to me. It's a significant safeguarding issue and I'd be flagging it stat.

I don't think it's a case of "he's done his time" he will not be able to work with children etc and id be curious to know if hes on the register and if there are any restrictions in place that prohibit him from being around children. I would be informing every parent I know so they can make informed decisions around playdates etc IMO he is still a pedophile and I wouldn't have him anywhere near my children

In response to those saying sex offender’s can be near children/schools/ family events

Not true. DH worked as safeguarding lead for a charity that runs all age events. Every now and then a registered sex offender’s case worker would apply for the man to attend the events. The charity would respond with what their procedures were according to the level of offence. They accepted an application from a man who had lowest level of offence, who came along, but DH had to stay with them constantly.

Another sex offender with a much worse level of offence applied, but then decided not to attend because of the procedures that were in place.

Well. This has thrown me. I am the mother of an adult disabled daughter who was groomed and abused by a teenage neighbour 25 years ago, when she was 8. Wrecked our lives, threw our community into turmoil. We moved away. The situation was intolerable. I know he married and had a daughter, don't know where he is/they are. Don't want to. BUT even after that first-hand ordeal, I STILL would not be saying he shouldn't be taking his kid to events. I don't have grandchildren - that's the only comparable scenario I can see myself in - but if I did, I would not feel my fears and distress over encountering him took place over that child's right to a normal life. If I thought he had access to other people's kids, that's different. But mere attendance - no.

I'm not so sure and that's not my lived experience. Certainly in schools and in sport you have to pass police checks etc but what about those of us parents who help at various activities just because we like to? Or what about the parents who offer room in their car to an away match? Or the parent who needs to go into the changing room because their small child needs help? Or the friendly parent who children gravitate towards? What about the parent who offers to wash the team kit? They are so many ways of ingratiating oneself, offering a hand and having lots of access without any police checks at all. I personally think a paedophile will know all the tricks on how to fly under the radar without needing to pass any kind of safeguarding checks.

If you believe that you’ll believe anything.

You’ve got something wrong here, or you’re missing out, or perhaps don’t know, the full facts. It is simply not true that you could get 8 years for statutory rape of a nearly 16 year old as an 18 year old. Christ you’d barely get that for a violent non consensual rape.

At least the cold is not alive with him at home all the time

I was talking about official volunteers. No organisation should be allowing anyone, not even a parent, to be alone with children in their care, it’s against all the rules these days. I agree about your other points but that’s where we, as parents, need to stay vigilant and appropriately tell our children what is and isn’t acceptable. Anyone that’s deeply involved with a club should have parents asking the question, “ have they been police checked” regardless of it being a man or a woman!

@StubbornStoolThis ⬆️

@Catcrazylady. There must have been more to it than that if he got 8 years. Statutory rape applies to 13 and under.

@Gustavo77there is also plenty of information around that says they cannot be rehabilitated. Can you turn a heterosexual into a homosexual or a paedophile? Can you treat a homosexual and make them heterosexual? It was tried in all sorts of ways in the past and it doesn't work. Sexual preference is not chosen.

No. He's served the prison sentence. That doesn't change who and what he is. There's no returning from or forgiving CSA no matter how many years pass.

For eveyone saying 'peadophiles are everywhere', just remember, those of you who are parents of boys, you DS may well be one that's 'everywhere' when they grow up. And any one of those MNetters in the 'older' bracket, could be the parent of a paedophile, you just don't know it yet.
Given they are 'everywhere', the chances are high

Not in my experience. I work in a school in a safeguarding role and we've had parents/step parents who have been convicted of offences and their Sexual Harm Prevention Order has not prevented them from collecting their kids from school or attending school events, for example. In these instances we've been told by the Police that "it's up to you as a school to do our own risk assessment" but that they have a right to be there. The SHPO normally says something along the lines of (I'm paraphrasing) they should avoid unnecessary contact with children other than contact that is part of their every day life, so something like picking up your own child from school or taking them to an activity would be seen as part of normal every day activity, but volunteering to go on a Scouts camp with a group of kids wouldn't be OK.

How do you know?

Do you know for a fact it's true?

Do you know the details?

Do you think she knows?

Do the sports club/ school know?

Paedophiles don't change. It's part of their personality. They don't choose the attraction, it's who they are. It can't be rehabilitated as an orientation.

What they can change is their behaviour. They can choose to act on it - or not. But it's always going to be in there.

They can never change who they are.

You can't stop being gay. You can't stop being a paedophile.

I would be letting everyone know who he is and let everyone make their own mind up.

For a paedophile to even get prison time, it would have been significant. It would likely have been rape or sexual assault of a child. Or significant Cat A porn as a distributer.

If this bastard has been in the paper for his crimes, it would be terrible if the news article suddenly surfaced again in your local area.

How do you know?

Yeah go out of your way to ruin his life before you know anything about it. How do you know what the situation is?
Informing every parent, I'm sure most ppl have better things to do than gossip & rally about someone else's life. If he weren't safe then he wouldn't be allowed to live with a child or go near a school.
I'm sure if OP knows, definitely the school does, everyone will, she's posted on here she doesn't seem the sort of person who is not going to tell ppl.

I found out recently that a man I grew up with in the same street is a paedophile. He was a pillar of the community, did lots for charity and was supposedly happily married with 3 kids. Absolutely sickening, as he hid in plain sight. He was big into the football and when it came out about his paedophilia, the whole town turned against him. Vile creature. He moved area and is bitter now from what I've been told. I don't care about him, but rather the poor child's life that he has ruined. As soon as his wife found out he was a paedophile, she divorced him and moved her children away. He ruined his own life by his actions. No gossip ruined it for him. He did that by destroying an innocent child.

Frankly, who gives a fuck about ruining the life of a deviant predator who distributed images of CSA? I would genuinely hope that every waking minute for anyone who does that kind of stuff is utter hell. There should be no consideration for any aspect of their life. Fuck him, and every single other dirty bastard who willingly ruins lives for their own perverted enjoyment.

If he was 17 having sex with a 16 year then that's one thing, if he was touching children that's different. Is he still on the register?

If he’s a convicted sex offender, he will be on the register. The club has to check anyone who volunteers history against the register. They cannot just let him volunteer without doing check for a police record and if he is safe to work with young or vulnerable people. Letting the club know is irrelevant. They find out for themselves, rather than going on what might , in some cases, be malicious gossip