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AIBU?

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Original poster

Paedophile taking his kid to sports at weekend

309 replies

Pumpkin05 · 06/04/2025 01:03

Long story short information has come to light someone I know was convicted and imprisoned for paedophile charges, some 20 years ago (Information is verifiable)
Flash forward he now has a wife and young child and takes said child to sports clubs and matches at the weekend.
AIBU to think this is strange, and not want my child to attend said sports matches with him there? or am I over-reacting?

OP posts:
Nextdoor55 · 08/04/2025 22:06

Crazyworldmum · 08/04/2025 12:08

Sorry but I don’t believe that . Unless he was a repeat offender or had other convictions. In the U.K. that doesn’t happen . I’ve been in court ( professionally) and seen pedophiles getting licked for 2 and 3 years after abusing their grandchildren for decades . The U.K. has a vile decaying system when dealing with sexual abuse

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In America a 18 year old got 60 years for a 14 year old. Was mutual, no rape as such (in law of course it is but he didn't force himself) yeah 60 years.
It's quite possible

Nextdoor55 · 08/04/2025 22:11

Calmdownandcarryon · 08/04/2025 21:51

I think you have an obligation to at least inform the school and sports team, how would you feel if you found this out years later after your child had been to their house and that other people knew and said nothing. This wasn't an older teenager and a young girlfriend, this was sick child abuse online and I dont think pedophiles like that change

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I think there's no doubt about it that OP will have informed the school, postman & all the neighbours by now. And everyone in the pub

WearyAuldWumman · 08/04/2025 22:12

ColinOfficeTrolley · 06/04/2025 05:42

Peadophiles cannot be rehabilitated.

I would be very around him.

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Agreed.

One known to me was supposedly rehabilitated. He had 'done his time'. Most who knew of this kept their distance from him, but others insisted he'd changed.

He died in prison - someone came forward about historical offences. Once he was safely locked up, even more recent offences came to light.

Reading between the lines of the news reports and local knowledge, his stepchildren and and a child born to one of them were victims.

WearyAuldWumman · 08/04/2025 22:18

WingingItSince1973 · 06/04/2025 19:34

All these on here that think he’s done his time and let him be are shocking. I’ve lived with the fall out from my ex stepdad abusing me as a little child and then my mother for covering it up and sending me to his house in the school holidays with his son (my baby half brother). He was married to my mum, had sex with my mum to produce my brother but still wanted a six year old on the side! It’s life changing when you’re abused in anyway shape or form. I’m so pleased a lot of you have never had to be in that position to live a life after abuse and just see it as a crime that is easily rectified if the person has done the time for it.

I am so sorry.

WearyAuldWumman · 08/04/2025 22:23

steff13 · 08/04/2025 11:54

But it is universally understood that the recidivism rate for sexual offenses is likely to be underestimated.

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Yes. The one that I mentioned offended when he was about 20. Imprisoned for a brief period. Released. "Rehabilitated".

He was sent back to prison in his 60 for offences committed in middle age. Then sentenced again for other offences.

Sunflower07 · 08/04/2025 22:28

I've not rtft, but is he unsupervised with his child? If so, this really needs to be reported to children's social care. They may have assessed the family already and determined he can have unsupervised time with his child, but often such an assessment would result in a recommendation of no unsupervised contact (which of course isn't always adhered to).

Yaaaassssssqueeeeeennnnnslay · 08/04/2025 22:30

StubbornStool · 06/04/2025 05:06

He’s done his time.

It’s a disease. He’s sexually attracted to children, it’s doesn’t go anway and I wouldn’t have a pervert like that anywhere near my kids. Tell the other parents now.

Yaaaassssssqueeeeeennnnnslay · 08/04/2025 22:33

Pumpkin05 · 08/04/2025 11:26

I trusted the person who told me, but also a quick google search confirmed the details.

I don’t know if the club know, but as others have said, hopefully they have the appropriate checks/safeguarding measures in place if he ever tries to get more involved than just watching from the sidelines.

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Safeguarding is EVERYONE’s business- at the very least report what you know to the safeguarding lead of the club.
Most clubs are run by volunteers- they don’t really know what to do with genuine safeguarding issues - so highlight it and let them get guidance from their governing body.

Unforgettablefire · 09/04/2025 08:56

NC28 · 06/04/2025 10:23

Agree with others that it’s better you know.

With that in mind, the idea of the presence of these filthy bastards always provokes a strong response from me (for which I’ll never apologise or be made to feel bad).

Although we know that they are all around us, it’s galling to have them swanning around like they’re a normal part of society when they should never be allowed to be.

In your position, OP, I’d make it clear to him that you know what he is. You don’t need to verbalise it, but I’d make it very, very clear to him that you know at any opportunity you get. I also wouldn’t be shy to warn any other parents you’re friendly with. A few whispers and he’ll probably fuck off back under his rock like the coward he is.

This. It’s not just a question of keeping kids safe when they’re sexually attracted them, it’s the thought of what they’re thinking when they’re around them and looking at them.

I would keep mine away from known sex offenders of any kind and I wouldn’t apologise for it or my feelings towards these repulsive monsters.

SmoothEncounter · 11/04/2025 13:42

Nextdoor55 · 08/04/2025 22:11

I think there's no doubt about it that OP will have informed the school, postman & all the neighbours by now. And everyone in the pub

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Why are you being so nasty to the OP? She has asked for opinions, as she has concerns, quite rightly, and there is no indication she’s a village gossip.

Northernparent68 · 11/04/2025 14:00

surely he’ll be in the register and it allowed to be near children

WearyAuldWumman · 11/04/2025 15:16

Northernparent68 · 11/04/2025 14:00

surely he’ll be in the register and it allowed to be near children

The offender that I mentioned previously was reported to the authorities, but was still allowed to cohabit with a woman with two children.

Nextdoor55 · 11/04/2025 18:56

SmoothEncounter · 11/04/2025 13:42

Why are you being so nasty to the OP? She has asked for opinions, as she has concerns, quite rightly, and there is no indication she’s a village gossip.

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I'm betting that she has though.

NC28 · 11/04/2025 20:11

I think someone being a gossip is no problem in this kind of scenario. Your man is convicted; it’s not a rumour or a feeling. Gossip about these creeps is no issue IMO. Awareness is key. The more who know what he is, the less he can live free.

Beetlekiwi · 11/04/2025 21:14

StubbornStool · 06/04/2025 05:06

He’s done his time.

Exactly, as per previous poster, some will find it acceptable, others will find it abhorrent. Trust your own judgement here.

Beetlekiwi · 11/04/2025 21:19

SmoothEncounter · 11/04/2025 13:42

Why are you being so nasty to the OP? She has asked for opinions, as she has concerns, quite rightly, and there is no indication she’s a village gossip.

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Touched a nerve I think….👀

Question you have to ask yourself is “is it worth the risk”?

LittleCharlotte · 11/04/2025 21:59

I would make sure everyone bloody knew about him. He shouldn't be involved in any activities involving children at all. He won't have gone off them. Sarah's Law means you are legally allowed to know when a paedophile is in your area. I would encourage everyone at the sports club to invoke it.

LittleCharlotte · 11/04/2025 22:03

Nextdoor55 · 08/04/2025 09:22

Yeah go out of your way to ruin his life before you know anything about it. How do you know what the situation is?
Informing every parent, I'm sure most ppl have better things to do than gossip & rally about someone else's life. If he weren't safe then he wouldn't be allowed to live with a child or go near a school.
I'm sure if OP knows, definitely the school does, everyone will, she's posted on here she doesn't seem the sort of person who is not going to tell ppl.

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He's a paedophile. It's so weird how some people are defending him and acting like it's not a big deal to abuse children.

LittleCharlotte · 11/04/2025 22:03

Nextdoor55 · 11/04/2025 18:56

I'm betting that she has though.

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And that's a bad thing because...?

LittleCharlotte · 11/04/2025 22:06

Gcsunnyside23 · 08/04/2025 15:56

I know someone who did time for having sex with a 15 year old (they were 22) BUT had met her in a bar that she used a fake id to get in and she told him she was older. Her mum found out and he ended up in jail. I knew the girl, she looked wayyy older and openly said she told him she was older.

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He didn't wind up in jail for that. If that's what he told you, he's lying.

LittleCharlotte · 11/04/2025 22:07

Nextdoor55 · 08/04/2025 22:06

In America a 18 year old got 60 years for a 14 year old. Was mutual, no rape as such (in law of course it is but he didn't force himself) yeah 60 years.
It's quite possible

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I suspect there's more to this story than that.

LittleCharlotte · 11/04/2025 22:08

Nextdoor55 · 08/04/2025 22:11

I think there's no doubt about it that OP will have informed the school, postman & all the neighbours by now. And everyone in the pub

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Your reaction to this is so extreme it's odd. Why would it be so bad if people around knew there was a paedophile in their midst? Why are you so desperate to defend him?

Nextdoor55 · 12/04/2025 07:34

LittleCharlotte · 11/04/2025 22:03

He's a paedophile. It's so weird how some people are defending him and acting like it's not a big deal to abuse children.

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That's so black & white though. The OP doesn't know anything, like we don't. Could be a 17 year old being sexually active with a 15 year old, you don't know. There are scales & levels, some far worse than others.
There's no way he'd be allowed to live with a child if he was still considered a risk. You're wrong to consider that everyone who has been on the SO register is either still on it & still a danger to children or young people.

Nextdoor55 · 12/04/2025 07:37

LittleCharlotte · 11/04/2025 22:06

He didn't wind up in jail for that. If that's what he told you, he's lying.

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That's really naive, of course people get prosecuted for things like that, depends where they are, in America they get hefty prison sentences. In the UK it's still illegal.
Why assume that people are either lying or being unreasonable? Perhaps it's you.

Nextdoor55 · 12/04/2025 07:43

LittleCharlotte · 11/04/2025 22:08

Your reaction to this is so extreme it's odd. Why would it be so bad if people around knew there was a paedophile in their midst? Why are you so desperate to defend him?

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I can't get on board with black & white thinking, it's wrong IMO to damn someone forever no matter what they've done or not done. It's all just speculation on a forum, why decide anything about what should or shouldn't happen?

Authorities are very likely to know already including the school, unless there's independent current evidence that something isn't right it might just be gossip or worse. And it seems like the op is going to be letting her thoughts known anyway, it'll go nowhere because the authorities will already know & have already decided that he's safe (or he wouldn't be able to live with a child or be near a school).

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