Paedophile taking his kid to sports at weekend

[Pumpkin05]

Long story short information has come to light someone I know was convicted and imprisoned for paedophile charges, some 20 years ago (Information is verifiable)
Flash forward he now has a wife and young child and takes said child to sports clubs and matches at the weekend.
AIBU to think this is strange, and not want my child to attend said sports matches with him there? or am I over-reacting?

My neighbour was a child sex offender. He was a policeman of over 20 years service. His gf married him knowing of his offence and losing his job (he was caught before they married) she also had children DD10 DS 14 at the time. I informed her DDs primary school and sent links to the news articles.

Before his conviction my DSs spent time at their house playing and would go on dog walks with them. Fortunately they were not victims of him.

They continued to live next to me for years until he offended again and this time imprisoned.

In someways I was lucky in that I knew what I had living next door to me and I could protect my children from him.

Knowledge is power

Because that's what happens to all peados they are put on a register

Paedophiles never change their spots. He will never be safe around children.

How old would he have been 20 years ago and what exactly did he do? If he's on the sex offender register I can't see him being allowed to live with the child and mother. It could have been having sex with someone under 16 (he could have been 16 girl 15 but parents pressed charges) I would try to find out and wouldn't stop my child from going to sport just keep an eye on them as you should do anyway.

I’m not the sort of person to gossip, which is why I’ve come to a faceless forum rather than going straight to the local WhatsApp or Facebook group. I told a couple of very close family members when I first found out and asked their opinions on it, which I was told “he’s done his time etc etc” which surprised me. Which I think then brought me here to try and find out some other opinions.

I trusted the person who told me, but also a quick google search confirmed the details.

I don’t know if the club know, but as others have said, hopefully they have the appropriate checks/safeguarding measures in place if he ever tries to get more involved than just watching from the sidelines.

There are plenty of people in every neighbourhood who are pedos, get released from jail and just blend back into the neighbourhood or new neighbourhood, no one monitors them,and then they strike again,you have people on here saying you will ruin his life if you tell,if he lived local to them ,their response would be why weren't we told about him,leopard never changer it's spots.

But it is universally understood that the recidivism rate for sexual offenses is likely to be underestimated.

Sorry but I don’t believe that . Unless he was a repeat offender or had other convictions. In the U.K. that doesn’t happen . I’ve been in court ( professionally) and seen pedophiles getting licked for 2 and 3 years after abusing their grandchildren for decades . The U.K. has a vile decaying system when dealing with sexual abuse

I just have so much sympathy for his child. They are stuck with this now, it will affect them forever because people will avoid them due to what their father is.

So what is it that you're proposing to actually do? What effective and laudable remedy are you proposing?

Or are you just another blowhard that is slow of thinking but with plenty of nothing to say?

What are you on about? Whether someone has an idea over what to do with a known paedophile has nothing to do with people minimising what they did because they didn’t lay a hand on a child physically.

Do you realise it’s possible to not know the perfect remedy for the OP, but also not behave like what he did wasn’t actually that bad?

You’re quite mouthy online, aren’t you? I’m sure you’d definitely ask if someone was slow of thinking in real life.

Paedos are generally psychopaths and psychopaths can't be cured - they are wired in a totally different way that means their operating system is to be an intra-species predator. Rehabilitating a psychopathic paedo not to prey on children is like trying to rehabilitate a cat to not seek out/eat meat. Recommend reading about psychopaths - they're nervous systems are different and they just use everyone around them all the time for anything and everything. I'll have psychopaths as fringe friends, but not more than that.

The other thing it could be is being caught in a cycle of abuse. In that case I believe it's possible to rehabilitate, but not 100% sure - have not really read up on this in depth.

Don't think I could be friends with a known paedo though with kids in the equation - not worth the risk. To OP - check out what safeguarding is in place, educate your child, I think that's really all you can do.

You sound like just the sort of person to gossip tbf

Me too , and I wonder what kind of mother this child had that accepts a pedophile to be a father to her children . Can’t be anyone with good sense

Sensible advice. I think this is as much as you can do.

You're name-calling yourself, telling posters that they should be ashamed... for what exactly? Knowing and understanding the law? Disliking it as much as you do but accepting the legal limitations and remedies?

You don't sound enlightened or knowledgeable, just needlessly strident and impotent because you're berating posters who have no more power than you to effect a change. Puffery and limp ideas of what you'd supposedly do to a paedophile are pathetic unless you want a criminal record yourself. I don't believe half of the posters who say they'd do this and do that. They wouldn't and neither would you.

Most of us are mothers, we don't need a lecture about paedophiles thanks.

It’s nothing to do with the law (which I am fully aware of, I can assure you).

I take issue morally with the “I know what he did was bad but at least…” sentiment that’s been posted on here. The OP isn’t concerned regarding his legal punishment, his sentence length or whether it was fair; she’s concerned about an ongoing risk from his presence around a group of kids.

Believe what you want in terms of what another person would or would not do, that’s of no relevance here. People will say they’d kill him, that they’d print posters or put his crime on the local FB page, that a mob should hound him to suicide. That’s all a different point; my point is that the minimising of his actions is wrong.

And if that happened I wouldn't want him anywhere near any children, including his own.

I know someone who did time for having sex with a 15 year old (they were 22) BUT had met her in a bar that she used a fake id to get in and she told him she was older. Her mum found out and he ended up in jail. I knew the girl, she looked wayyy older and openly said she told him she was older.

Sooo much misinformation on this thread.

Registered Sex Offenders CAN have contact with children and often won't be on the Register for more than 10 years. Licence conditions and SHPOs are different.

Reconviction rates for sex offenders are low, that doesn't mean reoffending rates are low - very different things.

Child Sex Offenders are not mostly psychopaths as one PP suggested. They are often indistinguishable from the rest of us and hold down jobs, relationships and hobbies.

"Making illegal images" is the same as downloading them, they aren't taking the pictures themselves. Although obviously not OK it's very much non-contact.

Do you know the details do you? Is he still on the sex register for example? They don't, as other posters have said, all stay on the register forever. How old was he when he did this crime? What was it? How old was the child? 3, 7, 15?
It does matter. Locking people up & throwing away the key isn't the answer.
Some have said they have known about people who they have grown up around & later found to be child abusers. They were everywhere in the 70's , people often knew. If you grow up like that then you learn that you simply cannot trust anyone. All that has happened here is that you know about this man. But there are more that you don't know about & so you need to be concerned about those, the people who you don't suspect.
Just be aware. It's the only way IMO.
Good luck

Depending on the crime they will not always stay on a register, OP would have to apply through Sarah's law to find out. In fact she should do that.
If he's no longer registered he's no longer thought to be a risk.

With around 4 to 5000 child sex offence convictions a year in UK there will be another 100000 convicted since him. These are the ones that have been caught. So we are surrounded by them and at least you know in this case. Usually we don't know of convictions or they haven't even been caught and or convicted. So we have to implement our own safeguards and ensure all clubs do the same. Singling out someone convicted 20 years ago who hasn't shown any safeguarding concerns, other than his conviction, isn't the way to go. Don't let focus on him distract you from ensuring safeguarding at all times at the club.

I think you have an obligation to at least inform the school and sports team, how would you feel if you found this out years later after your child had been to their house and that other people knew and said nothing. This wasn't an older teenager and a young girlfriend, this was sick child abuse online and I dont think pedophiles like that change