Partner won't put me on deeds !!

[Stockgirl]

Hi, my ex partner and i have been seeing each other for a couple of months to see if we can rescue our long term relationship (25 years)...he asked me to go back a few months ago and he said he'd put me on the deeds of the house..but after talking to him today he said he wanted to see where the relationship went before moving forward with that!!
This causes a massive problem for me because I think he doesn't see me has his equal...after everything I've put into the property I think I deserve something...am I being unreasonable? I can't see a way forward tbh if we can't get past this...

This and especially now that your relationship is in trouble

It’s not that straightforward- she’ll still have to take him to court. This just registers the interest which will make it difficult for him to sell until resolved.

It doesn’t mean she’ll just automatically get what she believes is owed.

I would never live with a partner in my home who didn’t own their own property, or had the means to buy their own. I would hate that someone I wasn’t legally tied to could have a claim on my hard paid for home. No thanks.

While he/she is probably a bit of a dick, I'm not sure why you would be put on the deeds of someone else's house. I know you paid m9ney towards the house and probably paid rent but this doesn't entitle you to part ownership. You should have saved money or taken steps to buy. It is not someone else's responsibility to provide you with a property or part of one.

They are not married so OP wouldn't be entitled to it.

I wouldn't do put your name down either. I wouldn't risk you leaving shortly afterwards.

Neither of you trust the other.

Sadly the money spent on redecorating is gone, you would have had bills, rent to pay, morally he should offer you a few thousand but not half a house.

He's a shit for doing this, I'm sorry it wasn't done earlier.

Okay, except you have just talked about feeling like you're owed something financially, talked about what you feel you've paid into the house. It's not until later in the thread you seen concerned about your son ending up in a difficult place if something happens... It does seem you sound more bothered about getting your feet under the paid for table 🤔

How did it come about that the house was bought in his name only? Did he buy it before you got together?

To continue earning so he could support OP and the kids.
If OP had saved £100 a month, she'd have had enough for a deposit.
15 years of being a sahm with no marriage or being on the deeds is a risk not worth taking.

Agree with @CaptainFuture & others....

You weren't babysitting his kids OP, you were helping raise them, whilst his contribution was financial.

If he doesn't have a will, it will all go to the kids.

And even if he put you on the will, he could still remove you without you knowing, hence why marriage is the best option if you want protection.

Don't go back, your future starts now.

@Poppyseeds79 If I wanted to get my feet under the table I would of carried on the relationship.

@Shopgirl1 I was heavily pregnant and quite ill at the time so he purchased it in his name because he said it was to much paperwork to put me on it.

Have you been paying the mortgage the last 25 years?

If so can you prove it? I think you might have a legal standing in that case.

You’re not being unreasonable, but given that you’ve already parted ways I think you need to ask for legal advice. You aren’t married, you haven’t paid into the mortgage and he is lying to you about adding a name to the deeds, its extremely simple form and then registering with the Land Registery.
I hope you get what you need OP

Unfortunately you took the hit on your finances and your partner saw you as a lodger and child minder.

youll never retrieve the situation by getting back together, its a busted flush.

find your own way now, and hopefully you can at least own your finances as an independent person and not have to answer to someone who's a user.

You posted before but on the relationships board and got a lot of good advice and support.

You should continue on that thread if you can or if not post again but link to your old thread.

I would hope that the boys will be beneficiaries in his will. That is the most that can be hoped for now and not something the OP can ask for.

He won't add you to the deeds. No way. You've served your purpose for him

Let this thread be a warning to women who think it's cool and modern not to be married. We need to talk about this. Women who make career / financial sacrifices without protection of marriage need to understand the risks they're taking

I know right!

Almost as though getting pregnant to a man with assets was deliberate 🙂

Tell him if he's serious about getting back together you want to get married as you want a commitment. Then you have some security if it breaks up again.

@NeedToChangeName I totally agree !! I was naive an̈d thought that this would never happen to me, if I had my time again i definitely wouldn't rely on a man for financial security.

@Bigblubird I think it's too late for that now tbh.

Why did you do all this for a house you had no proprietary interest in?

I don’t see why he’d put you on the deeds now, he’s just stringing you along. I’m sorry.

Paying for half of bills and food isn’t paying towards the house though.

@ThatsNotMyTeen Because it was our family home , our children grew up there and I wanted it to look nice for all of us.

@Sofiewoo I know !! But me paying bills and buying food meant he could pay the mortgage, I'd rather of paid the mortgage because it would of been more beneficial tbh.