Partner won't put me on deeds !!

[Stockgirl]

Hi, my ex partner and i have been seeing each other for a couple of months to see if we can rescue our long term relationship (25 years)...he asked me to go back a few months ago and he said he'd put me on the deeds of the house..but after talking to him today he said he wanted to see where the relationship went before moving forward with that!!
This causes a massive problem for me because I think he doesn't see me has his equal...after everything I've put into the property I think I deserve something...am I being unreasonable? I can't see a way forward tbh if we can't get past this...

You paid half the bills and so did he.

He paid all the mortgage.

Furnishings don't add value to the property but if you paid for double glazing that arguably gives you a small portion.

You don't love him and don't want a sexual relationship but want half his asset.

There is no point moaning about how you didn't protect yourself financially now 25 years down the line when you split and are only just back together. He would be mad to give away his asset now.

Yeah, hindsight is 20/20 but I would never have children without being married. It’s been an edgy fad since the 1990s to call it just a piece of paper and never get married but 90% of the time this means the woman gets screwed over.

You lost 25yrs to this man, don’t lose any more years! You still have decades ahead of you, leave him and don’t look back. Preferably, take at least the furniture you bought with you when you leave again.

@Stockgirl how old are the dc? Were you pt for the full 25 years? As @redphonecase has already said a single mn search would have been so useful!

We have no idea what you put into the property or the relationship (was it his house in the first place?) so how on earth can we judge?

You chose to stay with him even though you weren't married and he hadn't put you on the deeds, though. You also chose to go part-time.

But she was also housed during that time so didn't have to pay rent elsewhere. I don't think she's entitled to claim half of his property and they should have sorted this out much earlier.

@CaptainFuture my children are in their 20's, one has his own family and one lives in the house with his dad.
I was p/t for the first fifteen years and took more hours when the children were older.

Sorry to say OP that you've made a lot of mistakes. By getting back with him you'll just be making yet another. My advice would be to change the tide and make a good decision- to leave.

Where did I say she was entitled to half???

Nowhere.

Hiwever, she did invest in a property she had no claim to abc is now trying to irk things out with a dick who happily took that money to improve his property.

In what world would it be a sane option to advise the OP to carry on ‘working things out’ with a man who likely (given his historical behaviour) will more than happily allow OP to continue investing with no actual security net?

if you’ll let him think this is a viable and fair option I can only ask the following: are you on crack?

I never said anything about 'working things out'. If her name went on the deeds, she'd be a joint owner - so half each. And, as I said initially, we really don't have enough information to judge. OP doesn't have to continue contributing. Also, her partner doesn't have to put her on the deeds - or even let her live in his house! P.S. Crack is not my drug of choice.

It's possible to split property ownership in uneven shares, no requirement at all for 50/50. In England and Wales it's called tenancy in common.

Why would you pay for all that in the first place if you weren't named on the house paperwork. Crazy.

@Lounderflounder I was in love so didn't think anything of it I guess...

Well, it's an expensive lesson learned. You need to walk away before you make any more silly decisions.

What possible advantage is there to him by putting your name on the deeds to the house? If a relationship doesn't involve sex, it's just a friendship. Nothing wrong with friendship but it falls far short of what is necessary for a lifetime commitment.

@Dillydollydingdong That's why I left him 8 months ago because I thought he deserved to have a loving relationship.
I was stupid to think I could go back, nothing has changed...I need to move on once and for all.

You paid for disposable things (food etc) and he paid for the asset which is solely his. Start saving all your money for your own future now.

I'd be even less likely to put you on the deeds if the mortgage was paid up in full.

So you have no relationship now (he wants a sexual relationship with someone else and another someone else is his soulmate) but you want half of the house, never going to happen.

@dogcatkitten I think you're correct.

So in 25 years you have paid for external doors and some flooring and otherwise lived there rent free only contributing to the bills? Why do you think you are entitled to anything?

@1SillySossij I didn't live rent free , all my wages went back into the house on bills and food, and I was a full time baby sitter for his kids!!

Register your interest in the property with land registry so he can't sell without paying you back what you've spent on the property.

https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/notices-restrictions-and-the-protection-of-third-party-interests-in-the-register

https://www.stephensons.co.uk/site/blog/consumer-law-blog/registering_your_interest_in_a_property

https://england.shelter.org.uk/professional_resources/legal/relationship_breakdown/housing_rights_of_cohabiting_sole_homeowners/preventing_sale_or_disposal_if_one_partner_is_the_sole_owner

@FondantFancyFan I didn't realise you could do that !! Thank you 😊

You don’t “babysit” your own children. It’s just parenting.

He’s not giving you any of his house.