Nutella for toddler breakfast

[FanofLeaves]

This is not a food bashing thread, I don’t care who wants to eat Nutella for breakfast in their own households 🤣

More just to canvas opinion.

Currently have a 3.5 year old who is pretty much refusing to eat meals. Nothing wrong with his appetite if offered crisps and biscuits, naturally, but I’m getting really stressed out that he’s not being adequately nourished. Seems to eat ok at nursery but he’s only there three days a week and they probably give them pigeon portions and almost certainly say he’s eaten more than I suspect he has. At home it’s mostly a shit show, I can’t seem to get anything proper into him. I’m trying so hard and doing everything I can think of and it’s really getting me down.

anyway so I’m having a crack down. Today we were supposed to be going out, nothing special just a trip out to the woods to mess about with his toy dinosaurs and an ice cream on the way home but it’s a beautiful day.

He should have woken up ravenous as he ate about 5 pieces of pasta for tea last night, so I asked him what he wanted for breakfast. Egg on toast, great. Make it for him and he won’t even look at it. I take it away, give him half an hour and try again. Same. So I’ve says until he eats either that or cereal or natural yogurt and fruit for breakfast we are not going anywhere. So he’s flinging himself about on the sofa sighing but refusing any offers of breakfast.

DH gets up, I briefly fill him in. Come back to him offering DS Nutella on toast which I have said no to and DS is now crying because he wants that. On the one hand, great, it’s food and we can crack on with the day but on the other, it just proves my point that he’s happy to eat what I regard as ‘treat’ breakfast items (and have no problem with but not in place of adequate nutrition) and is refusing regular food.

So would you just give in and make the bleeding Nutella on toast 🤣 I’m sticking to my guns but just interested.

And yeah it’s not a very exciting thread, but I have time on my hands now we are in a stand off trapped inside 😅

If you don't want him eating nutella on toast, don't have it in the house. Only have healthy options you are happy for him to eat. If he doesn't want to eat anything say 'fine, time to go out' then take water and a snack you are happy for him to eat (and that he will eat) so if he gets hungry you've got an option for him. Being brisk and business like, reducing options and having natural consequences is the best way to deal with this kind of fussy behaviour.

Nutella on toast should never have been started. Now you have him expecting the sugar rush...poor chap.

What is wrong with just plain toast with some butter?

Too late now tho. Or perhaps you can wean him back.

My Dd eats Nutella on toast probably 3/7 days a week. I’ve battled with breakfast for so long that I’m just happy she’ll eat something before school. She’ll eat eggs etc on weekends when I have more time to cook. Sometimes she’ll choose cereal or just butter on her toast which tbh probably isn’t much better.

she eats healthily in school and then for her evening meal. Is it worth the battle really?

What was the reason for not getting him an ice-cream?

Mine have it on brioche pretty much every morning. I think they’ll be fine!

I would never give him Nutella. No nutrition, what’s the value in that? I would wait it out. The weakest person cracks first. And don’t worry about him starving to death. No one ever heard of a child starving to death being surrounded by nutritious food. It’s a matter of breaking bad habits and introduction of shit food to begin with.

Not sure you’ve really read my post.

It’s a treat. Treats are to be enjoyed alongside of more nutritious food, not in place of. I don’t think refusal to eat breakfast or lunch really warrants getting an ice cream, personally 🤷🏻‍♀️ or to reward a ‘walk’ with constant whinging about tired legs 🤣

What is it acceptable to put on toast?

‘The weakest person cracks first’? That’s not really a parenting philosophy I’d choose to subscribe to

Well I just think Nutella is just sugar and a bad thing to put on toast, for a child especially.

I wouldn't have done either. He chose egg on toast, he got egg on toast. There isn't an alternative.

I'd have taken it away and got on with the day. Same for lunch. It's picky eating, they all go through it.

I acknowledge that some kids may get a diagnosis but I think neurotypical lids need a reality check and parents need to be assured that "eat it or don't" will work on most NT kids. Plenty of kids abroad eat all sorts of things that aren't Nutella.

Alternatively, let him be picky and go with it. I ate absolutely shite as a kid and won't touch it as an adult.

The ice-cream wasn't "in place of" more nutritious food, though. They were two separate events.

I'm often not in the mood for breakfast, but that has nothing to do with what I eat later in the day. Ice-cream should be just something he has as part of his normal diet, it shouldn't be seen as a treat or reward for eating breakfast.

That way madness and food issues lie.

It doesnt have no nutrition does it

It has different nutrition to other food, but not no nutrition

No nutrition at all would be not eating anything.

I don’t agree but that’s ok.

Just be careful about using food as a reward, especially with picky kids. You could end up creating a hierarchy of foods instead of keeping it neutral.

Yep. Food isn't a reward - it should just be something that people eat.

Teaching someone that they can only have an ice-cream if they eat all their breakfast is just going to encourage over-eating long-term.

@FanofLeaves so if you wake up one morning and don't fancy breakfast, do you genuinely go on to restrict your food for the rest of the day?

I wasn't hungry when I woke up yesterday so I just had coffee. After work I met up with a friend and we split a giant stuffed cookie type-thing. Should I have refused the cookie and had a banana just because I didn't have breakfast?

I agree with the hardliner (you). If you offer a choice of two nutritious things you know DC doesn’t dislike and they won’t eat either, they shouldn't get rewarded by getting a treat instead. If they choose to eat nothing that’s their choice but then they don’t get an ice-cream later.

DH should not undermine you. The two of you need to agree on your strategy, then make mealtimes as unemotional and low-stakes as possible. But no treats or snacks in between meals unless a reasonable amount of nutritious food is eaten at mealtimes.

I don’t understand the people telling you to give in. That would just teach DC that if they hold out for long enough they get the treat they want.

He eats better at nursery because they don't stress, nag or bargain about what he eats.
They don't care.
Nursery decides what food goes on the plate, child decides how much they eat.

Try to do the same at home. Serve three tasty, healthy meals and take all the emotion out.

Is it though? I just don’t think someone filling up on a Mr Whippy and nothing else is great, and certainly doesn’t stand us in good stead to try and get a meal in him at teatime. I’d have no problem giving him the ice cream as part of a balanced day of eating, but not just for the sake of it when he’s point blank refused anything else I’m offering him.

A Mr Whippy at 11am isn't going to impact how hungry he is at teatime.

As long as his diet is balanced over a week or a month, don't get yourself worked up about a one-off day of bad eating. A Saturday where he skips breakfast and has an ice-cream in the park is really not something to get stressed over - it just doesn't matter long-term. At all.

But if you start teaching him that he can't have ice-cream or a cookie unless he eats all his breakfast, you're going to end up with a child who forces themselves to finish X because they don't want to miss out on Y.

I don’t think comparing the whims of an adult is fair here. It’s sort of my job to get DS to make healthy choices and nourish himself, not say oh well here’s a giant cookie, ignore this meal I made for you. Presumably you are mature enough to make your own decisions and intelligent enough to differentiate between treat days and more balanced food days. He’s 3, so he’s not.

But all food is not equal. Some is more nutritious and essential for health, and some is nice but does not have much nutritional value and is best regarded as an occasional treat.

Have you tried porridge with fun toppings. We get a lot of different jars out and they get 2 tea spoons per bowl. Mine love things like peanut butter (super healthy) or jam (less healthy but they get so little in proportion to the porridge) and often eat 3 bowls I think mostly to get lots of different toppings. I also grate apple into it and put a variety of seeds to make it healthier and more filling. I'm sure you've tried it but it's my 3.5yr olds' favourite breakfast.