Nutella for toddler breakfast

[FanofLeaves]

This is not a food bashing thread, I don’t care who wants to eat Nutella for breakfast in their own households 🤣

More just to canvas opinion.

Currently have a 3.5 year old who is pretty much refusing to eat meals. Nothing wrong with his appetite if offered crisps and biscuits, naturally, but I’m getting really stressed out that he’s not being adequately nourished. Seems to eat ok at nursery but he’s only there three days a week and they probably give them pigeon portions and almost certainly say he’s eaten more than I suspect he has. At home it’s mostly a shit show, I can’t seem to get anything proper into him. I’m trying so hard and doing everything I can think of and it’s really getting me down.

anyway so I’m having a crack down. Today we were supposed to be going out, nothing special just a trip out to the woods to mess about with his toy dinosaurs and an ice cream on the way home but it’s a beautiful day.

He should have woken up ravenous as he ate about 5 pieces of pasta for tea last night, so I asked him what he wanted for breakfast. Egg on toast, great. Make it for him and he won’t even look at it. I take it away, give him half an hour and try again. Same. So I’ve says until he eats either that or cereal or natural yogurt and fruit for breakfast we are not going anywhere. So he’s flinging himself about on the sofa sighing but refusing any offers of breakfast.

DH gets up, I briefly fill him in. Come back to him offering DS Nutella on toast which I have said no to and DS is now crying because he wants that. On the one hand, great, it’s food and we can crack on with the day but on the other, it just proves my point that he’s happy to eat what I regard as ‘treat’ breakfast items (and have no problem with but not in place of adequate nutrition) and is refusing regular food.

So would you just give in and make the bleeding Nutella on toast 🤣 I’m sticking to my guns but just interested.

And yeah it’s not a very exciting thread, but I have time on my hands now we are in a stand off trapped inside 😅

For what it’s worth, your posts are a breath of fresh air to me on this thread. And I have children and have, luckily, never had any food issues in my life. Largely I think because I grew up (also in the 80s and 90s) with food being treated neutrally by my parents. I knew there was a difference in nutritional content in different foods, but it was never weaponised or used as a reward.

I tried to express the same ideas as you earlier in the thread, but it was like flogging a dead horse. It seems to have been wilfully misinterpreted as let your kids eat rubbish food all day and don’t educate them about healthy eating.

I have avoided battles with my kids about food because of following this advice, that as you said is grounded in science. So I don’t understand the vitriol on this thread at all.

Thank you!

I have DC and have never used food as a reward. Other people have expressed doing similar in this thread, along with the suggestion of serving sweeter foods alongside savoury. I’ve seen this recommended before and it does help. It sounds counterintuitive, but it works.

there's a chocolate hazlenut spread by Deliciously Ella that is so good - its about 60% nuts and low sugar but tastes really nice.

I hope you're going to go back over the thread and have just as much of a go at all the posters and parents agreeing with me.

I’m aware that lots haven’t agreed and that’s ok, I never said it wasn’t. No one has been pushing the narrative in quite the way you have, though.

out of interest, how do you explain all the millions of kids who grew up with 80s/90s attitudes to food but don’t have any food issues? Is that just luck? Or does growing up under the premise of certain food as treat/reward if you finish up at least most of your dinner always lead to issues, and they just don’t know it?

I'm not going to engage with you any further after your now-deleted accusations about me sock-puppeting.

That is music to my ears.

I have DC and have never used food as a reward either. I fully agree with pp.

I don’t like using food as a bargaining tool - or forcing someone to eat when they don’t want to.

id have offered the egg on toast and then if he didn’t eat it, get ready to go out. Then go.

so he knows that you mean business but aren’t using it as a weapon?

yes he would be hangry but then you come home early, offer a healthy snack and if he ignores it just carry on with whatever happens next.

That was you can still stand your ground but without making it into a battle of wills.

You provide food
You provide ample opportunity to eat it
Kid decides if they eat or not
Clear food away and carry on with day

My 3.5 year old can be SO fussy at times. Just like yours, refusing everything, even what they have asked for but will devour sweat snacks or crisps.

I started to offer something I knew she would eat along with something I wasn’t sure about. For example, weetabix with a few dark chocolate chips in or toast and fruit but cutting it into 4 squares and putting chocolate spread on only 1 square.

Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. If it doesn’t work, I always say she doesn’t have to eat it however if she tells me she’s hungry before the next meal, I will offer her the same/something along the same lines and it won’t be crisps or biscuits etc. (Don’t take this advice if your child is neurodiverse or has any eating problems like arfid as they definitely will starve themselves but I know my neurotypical child will not!!)

Throw the Nutella away and don't buy it again. You're child's fussing because they know one of you will give in. Don't offer anything high sugar and they'll get used to what you do offer.

My son would only eat beige food yoghurt and fruit for 16 years!!
Turned out he was borderline autistic...
Just like his father.no health professional thought the fussiness was a huge problem.
Be very patient and good luck

thank you, and I think what some posters perhaps would do well to remember is that if you have a ‘good eater’ well that’s brilliant, you’re lucky, you can do everything ‘right’ and still have a child who will refuse meals or seem to prefer to survive on dust and air. I know for some it’s really hard to imagine if you have a naturally hungry child who will devour what you put in front of them, but if you don’t, it’s not easy, and in most cases no one is to blame (so much blame around babies/children and nutrition, and it’s bloody hard at times!)

It's like sleep. Some kids get the memo as a baby that they're to sleep 10-12 hours solid a night ... And some... It takes longer regardless of tactics!

At some point they do start eating ok and normally. One day my child asked for more carrots. I will swear I have the wrong child. I tend to find he eats only 2 ok meals a day not three but what he eats he eats well. The third meal he just isn’t hungry. Maybe your child was just not hungry at Breakfast so wait to the next meal. That’s what we did and we found it worked ok.

we also don’t undermine each other on food / mealtime battles. It’s a road to nowhere good.

fundamentally nothing wrong with Nutella though.

He sounds like an active chap who probably detests sitting still? So meal times might to him feel like a punishment before they have started.

Have you tried giving him food whilst you are serving out. He is your taste taster - but still free to roam the kitchen. Then serve him a very small amount onto his plate. So you are getting him to learn to sit down for a meal but getting most of the nutrients into him whilst he is prancing around.

I had similar issues with DD2. I used the ‘division of responsibility’ method - DoR. A lot of picky eating, refusal etc is about control. It could be a reaction to your DS being at nursery, or other things. Children have barely any control over their lives … but they do have control of food. And they use it 😂 DoR simply put is that it’s our responsibility to decide what, where and when the food is available. It’s the child’s responsibility to decide how much or whether they eat. If food becomes a battle ground it can lead to all manner of issues in the future. I know from my own experience with disordered eating. I provided my DDs with food, they decided I’d they wanted to eat it. I’d they didn’t, that was fine. No arguments. No replacements. No coercion. My DD is almost fifteen now and coming out the other side. She has much more control over her life and food isn’t such a big deal anymore. Tonight she ate a burger with all the works … a first! Until recently is was only cheese.

DS1 went through this phase. I was you, and MIL (who as it turns out is a raging narcissist and thoroughly enjoys making me look like a dick at any opportunity) was your DH. The fussy eating stage went on for 3 years. Now (16) he eats most things but is still a bit of a veg dodger.

With DS2 I was far more "fuck it". He lived off almost nothing but biscuits, Petit Filous, and the occasional slice of ham for several months. Now (13) he eats literally everything and is far more adventurous than DS1 ever was.

Pick your battles. If Nutella is the hill you wish to die on, great. If it's not, save your energy for the next battle and give him the toast.

I often have my GS here for breakfast and he is a pain to feed. He's bloody minded as only a 6 year old can be, he doesn't eat to squeeze a reaction our of us. Our solution has been to give him eggs in a cup which he can chop up himself and have with toast (no crusts, naurally) and he'll usually eat that. If he eats his eggs he can have chocolate spead on toast afterwards. I appreciate that a 3.5 year old probably can't chop his own eggs, but most children like chopped eggs.
No, I wouldn't give in to Nutella on toast, he'll probably want it every day and it isn't a great breakfast.

No, do not cave!!!

Your setting him up to think tantrums get him what he wants. Also, by giving in, your just prolonging these food battles every day.

Nutella is also a UPF and quite addictive, seperate issue really, but your definitely right, it's a, treat and you don't want him refusing food every day unless it's that.

Perhaps most importantly though is these early years are when your tastes are developing pretty fast - it's why toddlers go through picky stages. But also why it's important to steer him towards healthier options. In time he will prefer these foods. The longer you put off regular exposure to them, the harder it is.

By the time he is 5 development and taste change slow down, and then as we age are taste weakens, so we often prefer stronger foods than we did as kids.

If it was a really important day then yes, maybe cave (although maybe in a way it's thought to be in your terms not sons!) but this sounds more like hubby couldn't be bothered if I'm honest.

Sorry if this is a harsh opinion! Just trying to be honest from a dietetics perspective. I think you were doing the right thing and your hubby should have supported you or at least discussed it with you first.

Good luck! Remember toddlers are known to be fussy, it's not your cooking! 😉👍

The guide leader called my mum bc I hadn't eaten anything other than an apple in 4 days, it doesn't work for every child. Also 30+ years ago.
I'm less fussy now i have control over my own food.