Nutella for toddler breakfast

[FanofLeaves]

This is not a food bashing thread, I don’t care who wants to eat Nutella for breakfast in their own households 🤣

More just to canvas opinion.

Currently have a 3.5 year old who is pretty much refusing to eat meals. Nothing wrong with his appetite if offered crisps and biscuits, naturally, but I’m getting really stressed out that he’s not being adequately nourished. Seems to eat ok at nursery but he’s only there three days a week and they probably give them pigeon portions and almost certainly say he’s eaten more than I suspect he has. At home it’s mostly a shit show, I can’t seem to get anything proper into him. I’m trying so hard and doing everything I can think of and it’s really getting me down.

anyway so I’m having a crack down. Today we were supposed to be going out, nothing special just a trip out to the woods to mess about with his toy dinosaurs and an ice cream on the way home but it’s a beautiful day.

He should have woken up ravenous as he ate about 5 pieces of pasta for tea last night, so I asked him what he wanted for breakfast. Egg on toast, great. Make it for him and he won’t even look at it. I take it away, give him half an hour and try again. Same. So I’ve says until he eats either that or cereal or natural yogurt and fruit for breakfast we are not going anywhere. So he’s flinging himself about on the sofa sighing but refusing any offers of breakfast.

DH gets up, I briefly fill him in. Come back to him offering DS Nutella on toast which I have said no to and DS is now crying because he wants that. On the one hand, great, it’s food and we can crack on with the day but on the other, it just proves my point that he’s happy to eat what I regard as ‘treat’ breakfast items (and have no problem with but not in place of adequate nutrition) and is refusing regular food.

So would you just give in and make the bleeding Nutella on toast 🤣 I’m sticking to my guns but just interested.

And yeah it’s not a very exciting thread, but I have time on my hands now we are in a stand off trapped inside 😅

What about peanut butter? DD is incredibly healthy eating (plant based all about managing protein no processed sigar) and she loves peanut butter and banana on granary toast.
they also have chocolate ones (ours just use cocoa powder)

that said sometimes I have Nutella for breakfast on toast - is it really worth all of the stress when it is a breakfast option offered in most hotels!

Your making food into a battle ground and if you do you won’t win the battle.

Also do not make it you can’t do something until you eat I think a reset from everyone on this

I would highly recommend Thalia - Family Snack Nutritionist on Instagram.
I suspect you are showing him you are wound up about this. We used to ask DS (older but has some SEN) "just try... Just a bite" but now when he says "I don't like it" we just say "oh well".

I’m torn, I’d originally thought but as long as he gets healthy stuff later all good, but in reality it just becomes that he never eats any other breakfast and something else falls and next thing you’ve a teen with an extremely limited diet (it sounds like an extreme answer but it definitely happens)

caveat though is that Nutella bugs me as eg we go abroad and they have it on croissants etc for breakfast ignoring fruit and yoghurts and then act like they had an ok breakfast but actually they had cake and chocolate l!!

I don’t actually usually ask him what he wants, but thought as he’d had so little to eat at dinner he’d wake up hungry enough to polish off a breakfast. DH bought the Nutella, I’ve never offered it. Not because I think it’s ‘bad’ but because what toddler or child wouldn’t jump at the chance of that for breakfast over more savoury offerings. Peanut butter is a good shout, he has previously eaten it.

So easy to fall into a trap of making things I think he’ll reliably eat instead of offering more variety. And then you risk their diet and tastebuds ending up so limited, like the previous poster pointed out.

I promise he won't keel over!

Presuming he is getting a regular multivitamin he isnt going to get scurvy or ricketts.

He will be fine not eating huge portions for a bit - I found it went in cycles and appetite increased just before a physical growth spurt and decreased again significantly if there was a bit of of a mental developmental/behaviour leap occurring.

One thing that worked for us was only putting really small portions in front of them during fussy periods. So if he's only eating '5 pieces of pasta' only put 5 pieces of pasta in front of him to start off with.

It's then less overwhelming for them to manage and much more achievable for them to get to the 'finished the plate' goal. If they want some more when they are finished then they can have some.

He wants what can’t have. Have you tried saying no to egg on toast? Give him 2 other options and say there is no time to make egg. Queue major tantrum for egg. It worked for mine.

I’ve known kids living off three foods for seemingly years. It wouldn’t bother me in this instance (and isn’t Nutella on toast common for breakfast in Italy? And chocolate sprinkles in the Netherlands)?
I grew up on cereal and not sure how nutritious that was either.

toddlers and preschoolers are tiny control freaks. Don’t get into the battle with them.

certainly don’t ask them what they want. youre giving him too much power and too much choice. You’re in charge of what goes on the plate and when they eat. They’re in charge how what they eat and how much. Leave it at that.

in future do one slice of toast, cut into four bits. One bit has Nutella, two have peanut or cashew butter and banana sliced up on top. One is just butter. Present but say nothing and walk away. If he moans, say “eat what you like, leave the rest”,

At 9.30am, a snack plate. Carrot chopped up, hummus, a bit of cheese and 5 smarties. “Eat what you like, leave the rest”.

11.30am lunch. Chicken wrap, salad picky bits, a yogurt, a handful of crisps, etc. “eat what you like, leave the rest”.

2pm… snack plate - biscuit, strips of pepper, grapes “eat what you like, leave the rest”

5pm … dinner - chicken tikka, couple of spoons of rice, a bit of naan bread, broccoli. ““eat what you like, leave the rest”. Plain Yogurt and fruit for pudding.

rinse and repeat

just examples of course - the idea is that each plate has lots of variety / variation on, a few treaty bits and also a few healthy bits

I would give him the Nutella this time as your DH has offered it and it’s not really fair to then say no. Start again tomorrow. We had similar issues in with our 2 year old and I just decided not to fight about it. Offer the food that the rest of us are eating, he eats? great, he doesnt? fine, but there is nothing else. I certainly wouldn’t be staying at home until he eats something. Personally I would have offered the eggs on toast and when he refused, say nothing, remind him there will be nothing else for a while, if he still doesn’t eat crack on and get ready for your day. Go out as planned and when he starts to complain about being hungry hand him a banana and some cubes of cheese or something. He doesn’t want it? Oh well what a shame we haven’t brought anything else. And repeat this with every single meal. A healthy child with no SEN etc WILL NOT starve. If they are hungry they will eat, if they are not they won’t. Turn it into a battle and you will both lose. Give him some vitamins to make yourself feel better.

I would offer two choices and he either eats it or he doesn't. Don't turn it into if you don't eat then you can't do x activity, just take a piece of fruit/healthy snack out with you if he doesn't eat the breakfast. The majority of toddlers/young children will not starve themselves and if you remove the battle and the emotion from it you'll generally find he will start eating normally again.
My DC have ARFID and will literally starve themselves to the point of hospital if they can't access food on their 'safe' list but taking away the battle and emotion has them both now trying new foods and expanding their safe lists. My youngest DS5 also goes through phases where he just doesn't seem to want to eat (and others where you can't feed him enough 🤦🏼‍♀️) it's offered and if he doesn't want it that's fine, it's left out for him as long as it can be then cleared away with no fuss and we get on with our day and try again later.
You absolutely need to speak to DH though and agree on a plan, you can't be approaching this from two different angles so you need to agree what will be offered and when or if an alternative can be offered and what that alternative is. You both then need to stick to it and if it's not working then you speak privately and agree to tweak it but absolutely not can one of you go off script for an easy life.
Seriously though I get it's concerning and you want to do your best to have him eating healthily and a wide range etc but a few missed meals is OK, if it gets to the point where he's visibly losing weight and looks malnourished then obviously that's different but also unlikely. Take the demand and emotion away and make it no big deal if he eats or not and within a couple of weeks you'll see a huge difference in how he reacts to food
And not that it's at all relevant but my DC have nutella on toast pretty much every morning for breakfast lol

I don't think it is worth making food and eating a battle ground.
My compromise would have been healthy pancakes containing egg and banana, no sugar and a little bit of Nutella spread on top and some berries. That was a favourite breakfast for mine when they were little. Also eggy bread and beans, fruit salad, porridge with fruit.
In any event you and DH need to be on the same page and have a reasonable conversation about your strategies wrt parenting and stick to it..
TBH, I don't think it does any harm for a child to experience being hungry. If they don't want breakfast, leave it and they wait till elevenses and have a piece of fruit. I would never make going out conditional on eating. Just take a banana and a bottle of water out with you (without making it obvious).

https://www.amazon.co.uk/NAUGHTY-Peanut-Natural-Without-topping/dp/B08SCMX544?source=ps-sl-shoppingads-lpcontext&ref_=fplfs&psc=1&smid=A3P5ROKL5A1OLE

is a good one

that said DD (now 16) would only eat Philadelphia pasta with sweetcorn and peas and little dish fish pie at that age. She had quite a bland diet. She now is incredibly adventurous although plant based

Exactly this.

Put a meal you consider healthy on the table with a few components for him to choose from. Stop talking about the food!! Chat aboit other things, tell some funny stories from when you were a kid. If he hasn't eaten no dramas, just rinse and repeat at the next meal. For snacks likewise offer a few options that you would be happy for him to eat.

He can then work out his own relationship with food without it becoming a power struggle with you.

This is really great advice.

Never make food an emotional battleground.

Offer healthy options, respect his bodily autonomy on what and how much he eats.

Get rid of all the treat foods for now.

You can phase them back in when he's starting eating normal food.

Thank you, I’m going to adopt these strategies now. Some really great advice here.

He now has granary toast with a lick of Nutella and he isn’t interested in that either so off we go out, I have some sliced chicken and a banana with me for the inevitable hunger induced meltdown. And I’ve talked to DH, we are going to stop offering choices.

If he’s hungry for Nutella on toast why isn’t he hungry for shreddies, for example.

I don’t know about you, but I don’t force myself to eat food that I don’t fancy or enjoy. Some mornings I’ll have fruit and yoghurt for breakfast, other days it will be toast, and yes, some days it’s chocolate cereal or leftover pizza.

Food shouldn’t be a battle ground. Nutella on toast with some sliced banana or strawberry is much better than nothing.

You can’t say no once he has been told he can have it, that’s not fair on the wee lad.

Talk to DH at some point to agree which breakfasts are ok, but don’t fight over it when it’s already been promised to him.

Life is long; one Nutella breakfast here and there doesn’t matter.

Genuine question:

Why do you fancy some foods but not others?

Would you be impressed if someone told you you couldn't have Nutella (which isn't the worst in the world) because you didn't fancy egg?

Stop making a big deal out of food and he'll get there too, you're making it a battle and that's making food a battle for him

I hope the OP has gone out - i agree with posters who say don't have any food in the house you don't want your kids to have, or at least keep your secret chocolate stash out of sight.

I think a choice is good for kids - eg Shreedies or toast and banana, pasta or rice with stew etc, as it gives them a say, without letting them dictate.

And if they just won't eat, as pps have advised, skip it till the next meal, with basic snacks if they're very hungry later - eg apple and cheese. Skipping a meal isn't going to damage them, but forcing the issue can cause food issues later on.

My DD is an older teen now, but I remember how stressful the whole food thing was, wanting to ensure that every mouthful was nutritious and also tasty so she'd have a good relationship with food. I have a friend who was anorexic as a teen, so terrified of causing my DD to have food issues.

It's so easy to get caught up in battles at the time, so cut yourself some slack if you're in the trenches now, you're not going to break your child with a few less than ideal meals, or skipping the odd meal, or them refusing to eat peas.

Please still offer a choice of two different things, he will feel like he is in control of what he eats. However if he doesn't choose within a reasonable time then you choose for him. If he doesn't eat it, either what he chose or you chose for him, then no he doesn't get the alternative

Apologies meant to quote @FanofLeaves not @faerietales

I’m an adult though, so I can buy and choose my own food. As a child, there was no ‘what do you fancy’ from my parents! It was what was put in front of you or hunger.

Anyway I will still offer limited choice as in ‘Apple or banana?’ Or ‘toast or cereal?’ As like a pp said it’s good for them to think they have some say.

Does he eat peanut butter? I'd be happy to offer that on a slice of toast (ideally wholemeal but 50/50 will do) for breakfast. You get some decent nut butters that are not UPF.

Nutella is a birthday or Christmas day offering for us (and youngest DC is on a low sugar diet for medical reasons so they have aforementioned peanut butter)

I'm not overly precious about snacks / treats in general for my non medical diet kids - although we do try to model good food choices and eat less junk all round - but chocolate for breakfast doesn't really leave you anywhere to go with "treats" in my opinion. It is the treat!!