Nutella for toddler breakfast

[FanofLeaves]

This is not a food bashing thread, I don’t care who wants to eat Nutella for breakfast in their own households 🤣

More just to canvas opinion.

Currently have a 3.5 year old who is pretty much refusing to eat meals. Nothing wrong with his appetite if offered crisps and biscuits, naturally, but I’m getting really stressed out that he’s not being adequately nourished. Seems to eat ok at nursery but he’s only there three days a week and they probably give them pigeon portions and almost certainly say he’s eaten more than I suspect he has. At home it’s mostly a shit show, I can’t seem to get anything proper into him. I’m trying so hard and doing everything I can think of and it’s really getting me down.

anyway so I’m having a crack down. Today we were supposed to be going out, nothing special just a trip out to the woods to mess about with his toy dinosaurs and an ice cream on the way home but it’s a beautiful day.

He should have woken up ravenous as he ate about 5 pieces of pasta for tea last night, so I asked him what he wanted for breakfast. Egg on toast, great. Make it for him and he won’t even look at it. I take it away, give him half an hour and try again. Same. So I’ve says until he eats either that or cereal or natural yogurt and fruit for breakfast we are not going anywhere. So he’s flinging himself about on the sofa sighing but refusing any offers of breakfast.

DH gets up, I briefly fill him in. Come back to him offering DS Nutella on toast which I have said no to and DS is now crying because he wants that. On the one hand, great, it’s food and we can crack on with the day but on the other, it just proves my point that he’s happy to eat what I regard as ‘treat’ breakfast items (and have no problem with but not in place of adequate nutrition) and is refusing regular food.

So would you just give in and make the bleeding Nutella on toast 🤣 I’m sticking to my guns but just interested.

And yeah it’s not a very exciting thread, but I have time on my hands now we are in a stand off trapped inside 😅

No I wouldn’t. But then I wouldn’t have it in the house.
Food refusal means going hungry. Our kids don’t have SN so no issues there (obviously SN children have to be handled differently).

It really would! If you’re going to be on toast, it really needs to be someone younger!

Being a child doesn’t mean you should never have any choice or agency over what you eat, though.

You can still control what he eats and give him a choice. So he could either have yoghurt and fruit with honey, or Nutella on toast with sliced banana, for example.

Forcing children to eat what you decide all the time will just turn meals into a battleground.

On the point of Nutella, when we were in France last summer it appeared to be everywhere!

French kids eating it directly out of the jar with a spoon, spreading it all over the bread/toast

Also, something very French which I noticed- parents putting squares of chocolate in a piece of baguette and giving it to their kids as a snack. Chocolate in bread- that’s next level for me!

Sorry for the tangent, wanted to give an example from another country which is the home of Nutella!

In future, I would never link eating with going out. All it does is punish you as adults

My 4 year old is a terrible eater. We literally wouldn’t have been anywhere for years if he had to eat before going. I give him what we are having, often with a choice ie shall we have pancakes or eggs on toast, most times there’s an option he likes at least some of. He eats or doesn’t. And we move on.

Mine would rather starve than even lick something he doesn’t fancy…

Just take him to the woods without anything - definitely no ice cream on the way home then he will be starving when he gets home and eat something sensible - no kid starved themselves to death !

Why would you use food as a punishment like that?

Nutella on toast with sliced banans on top? My DS has porridge with a spoonful of nutella and berries usually.

We are going to the woods but currently taking an age for DS to rally (we don’t drive and I’m not shunting him there in the buggy) as he says he’s too tired to walk 🤦🏻‍♀️

I have never actually said ‘eat or we don’t go out’ before for all the reasons on this thread but I was at my wits end and he LOVES going out, we’ve been talking about an outside trip for the dinosaurs all week 😩 and I just wanted him to have the energy to enjoy the day. As it is I’ll be cajoling a whingeing child around the woods because he can’t make the link between having an empty stomach and feeling like shite.

Your son is 3. Why would you even tell him things like Nutella exist until you have to? This is about the only time in his life you have control over what he eats. If he didn’t know it existed he wouldn’t ask for it.

Appreciate you can’t undo it now but my goodness, some parents make a rod for their own backs.

Because he hasn’t eaten any bloody breakfast!

It’s not a punishment, it’s just a sensible rule that you don’t get treats if you don’t eat normal food.

It’s not my bloody Nutella!

Unfortunately once they go out in the world to other people’s houses or on a day trip with their grandparents or to a party or on holiday they know plenty of things exist unless you blindfold them and put ear plugs in 🤣

Yes this was a bit of a revelation for me when I did some reading about healthy eating habits in children. They have so much choice taken away from them in life generally, and certainly there’s plenty of times I don’t fancy certain things or am not in the mood for something, but I have the agency over myself to choose differently and I do. So I do offer choices to the kids because I think it is important for them to have some control over their diet, within reason.

The best solution I’ve found is just not to have unhealthy stuff in the house. I’m not bothered about a bit of Nutella but we don’t have crisps and chocolates and biscuits, even the ‘kid’ stuff (which is often no different to adult stuff other than the price) generally in stock. If they’re in the house, then the kids badger for them until they are gone. If we don’t have any, then they literally don’t even ask, they just ask for stuff we do have. So for us, out of sight is out of mind, and with young kids it’s really much easier to control what they eat at home than when they are bigger.

But that is what causes food issues.

And children are capable of making decisions and knowing what they like

I would also give ice cream

I just don’t think it’s worth a miserable day for the sake of an ice cream. Breakfast is one event, they eat or don’t. I’m not going to refuse to let him have an ice cream at 2pm based on 8am toast. Also as parents you cant enjoy your own afternoon having a coffee or ice cream out either unless someone is suggesting they would literally buy themselves and ice cream and let a 3 year old watch you eat one they don’t get? I totally couldn’t go that, mine would be heartbroken. It’s just mean.

Enjoy your walk, have an ice cream. Start again tomorrow

I see no harm with Nutella on toast to be honest. Put a couple of strawberries or grapes with it too.

Kids need to graze. Does he eat meals with you both, at a table, as a family, the same thing he sees you eat? That's the best habit to form. Kids eat better in nursery as they are sat doing what others do.

Snacks in between meals needs to be healthy. Find a variety and get him trying lots of things. Nuts, seeds, fruit, fresh and dried, as well as yoghurt, popcorn, crisps or the odd biscuit. The more variety the better.

Remember his portion size is the size of his hand, not yours.

Mine have eaten all sorts of things over the years at other people’s houses. All fine. Didn’t mean we had them at home, so they didn’t expect us to.

Now they’re teens and they affectionately call me an ‘almond mum’ 😂

I’ve said they’ll thank me later.

Kids need to graze.

They really don’t! This is one of the worst eating habits to instil in children. ‘Grazing’ is absolutely NOT what humans are designed to do and has only become a trend in the last 15-20 years.

I think it’s one of the causes of the obesity epidemic - people think they need to be constantly eating.

Edited to add: my 3 DC rarely had snacks. They had three good meals a day.

Guess what? They not only survived, they ate what was on their plates at meals and didn’t have erratic blood sugar all day causing (modern term) ‘hunger meltdowns’.

This isn't your question I realise, but this is a recipe for a healthier nutella with hidden black beans to add fibre and protein. You can tweak the amount of honey too. You could sneak some into a nutella jar and mix with real nutella, then reduce the amount of real nutella you add over time.

BB Nutella
Ingredients (use organic where possible)
Makes 550g
100g hazelnut butter
1x 400g tin of black beans, drained and rinsed
4 tablespoons of cocoa powder
2 tablespoons of butter or coconut oil
4 tablespoons of raw honey
2 teaspoons of vanilla extract A small pinch of sea salt
Method

1. Add all the ingredients to a food processor or high-powered blender and pulse to the desired consistency.
2. Transfer the spread to a sterilised jar and store in the fridge for up to three weeks.
3. Enjoy!

And yes, at other people’s houses or out and about they definitely eat plenty of junk food and that’s fine, but if it’s not physically in our house then that’s it really, they don’t ask for it because it’s not here and it’s just not an issue. Our ‘snack drawer’ is just plain crackers, some dried fruit, etc. It all sounds a bit crunchy, I know, (literally as well as in the hippy dippy sense) but instead of crisps and biscuits, they’ll ask for stuff now like apple and peanut butter or crackers and cream cheese, whereas when we had pom bears and biscuits and they knew it was there, then that’s what they would ask for.

For play dates I will specifically buy stuff in for the occasion, as I’m not so miserable that I insist on serving gruel to children coming over to play, but it’s limited amounts that get consumed during the play date and that’s it.

Some kids are really much harder to feed than others. The only advice I have is not to talk or negotiate, just offer food when a child shows signs of hunger, so go to the woods, run around, then put some fruit, cheese, small egg sandwich, (or whatever) in an attractive spot and sit by it- offer it and have some yourself.

When our kids were young (20-30 years ago) we didn't have things at home which we would have wanted to restrict- that included screens, junk food, annoying toys. They watched TV, ate Nutella, and played with toy guns (or whatever) at their friends' houses. It never created a problem for us, not sure why- they just didn't associate those things with being at home.
Home was full of lots of fun and exciting things, just not those things.

@FanofLeaves
What do you consider acceptable to have on toast? Personally, I tried never to have any sort of battle over food (I know it’s hard!) and certainly never to use food as a punishment.(yes, I know that’s hard too!) I would probably go with a little Nutella so I could get the day started. I probably wouldn’t have achieved this level of Zen when mine were little-but looking back at wish I had.

I don't think it's easy to say who is right or wrong here because it depends on your priorities and also a decision you make today may need to be different tomorrow in different circumstances. BUT consistency between you and DH is very important so you need to have a chat and get on the same page.

FWIW we have a child the same age, as well as a 6 yr old, and a baby (not yet weaning). We have a 'rule' that they can have a 'treat' cereal for breakfast once a week on a weekend day. It's usually Saturday as they tend to ask for it then. That will be some kind of high sugar cereal, varies depending on what we have in. Today they had a choice of chocolate wheats or coco pops (as well as various lower sugar options). They both chose chocolate wheats.

I would say probably around one more day a week they will have something like pancakes/waffles/crumpets/English muffin/pitta bread etc with nutella on. But we don't always necessarily have it in the house - we don't have any at the moment - so equally it's not every week even.

The other 5 days a week they will have lower sugar cereals, or one of the items above with peanut butter. We really push peanut butter as we are vegetarian so it's a good protein source for them. It's also very filling to help keep them fuller til lunchtime instead of asking for tons of snacks all morning. Once they've had their cereal or other item they usually also have either greek yoghurt, fresh fruit, dried fruit, soreen, or nuts - or a combination.

I'm not sure about not going out til breakfast is eaten. Can totally see your point of view on that, and I think 3.5 is reasonable enough age to understand that too. Just luckily never really had this issue as my kids have always eaten breakfast well unless unwell. My eldest has been a terrible eater when younger but breakfast was the only meal she'd reliably eat well even then.

Food should never be used as a tool, and certainly not as reward or punishment.

You are putting pressure on him at mealtimes, so of course he’s going to refuse to eat.

You’re literally creating your own problem and then wondering why it’s happening

@DarkclothesI would avoid Nutella because it has palm oil, but I honestly don’t see how your recipe is much healthier than the real thing….