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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Pink or no Pink

129 replies

LifesUturn · 03/04/2025 21:08

My son is about to turn 3 and I'm getting him a balance bike he wants a very specific one which is a vintage style bike with a basket and is Pink with white tyres....his dad has outright said no because it's 'a girls bike' he has tried to show him others and has told him he isn't allowed Pink but he still picks the same one every time.....would anybody just buy the Pink or buy a different one and hope he likes it?

OP posts:
SouthLondonMum22 · 03/04/2025 22:03

Helplessandheartbroke · 03/04/2025 22:01

I disagree about society being sexist I just think the worlds gone mad. Anyway I've made my comment. Knew some wouldn't like it but each to their own. My son would wear a boyish pink top too but I wouldn't put him in a pink skirt :)

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Of course it's sexist. Stating that boys can't use something simply because it is pink is the very definition of sexism.

What would make a pink top 'boyish'?

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 03/04/2025 22:03

Helplessandheartbroke · 03/04/2025 22:02

Nope. But would it matter if I did?

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Well, yes, I think it would matter. Because toys are toys and children should be allowed to play with whatever toys they like.

Why should colours be any different?

Original poster
LifesUturn · 03/04/2025 22:04

saltinesandcoffeecups · 03/04/2025 22:01

Gotcha… I was hoping to offer an easy solution 😁

Probably then go back to my other thought… forget about dad, he’ll get over it. Do you think he’ll outgrow it before the peer pressure sets in?

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I plan to transition him to a pedal bike as soon as he is able but he currently doesn't have the strength to pedal even his trike he has tiny legs haha.....I wanted to take him to smyths and let him choose it after trying them but they've fastened them onto the rails now

OP posts:
tigerlily9 · 03/04/2025 22:04

I get it. Tell your husband it’s better for your son to be heard and his choices respected than worry about what people may think or say. You want your son to think for himself. Liking pink doesn’t mean anything at this age, and it’s wrong to read anything into it.

Helplessandheartbroke · 03/04/2025 22:05

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 03/04/2025 22:03

Well, yes, I think it would matter. Because toys are toys and children should be allowed to play with whatever toys they like.

Why should colours be any different?

Show quote history

Why does my opinion matter to you so much is my point? My son basically has whatever he chooses but I wouldn't encourage him to get for example sparkly pink crocs. And that's my opinion. I'm wondering if and why others on here would put their boy in sparkly pink crocs???!!! But that would mean I'm on here all night debating and I cba

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 03/04/2025 22:06

One way to get your husband to knock it off might be to tell him that if he makes your son believe that pink is for girls, he won't stop liking pink but he might start believing he is a girl.

Gemstar3 · 03/04/2025 22:06

When my DS was that age he also wanted a pink bike. In theory I had no qualms with that, but for something as long-lasting and expensive as a bike, my concern was that in a year or so he might change his mind, especially if someone else convinced him it was a “girl’s” bike. I didn’t want to have to prematurely buy another one because it was just one bright distinctive colour. The pink bike in question was also more “toy” bike, which as you say OP, tend to be heavier.

I found a lightweight silver bike with pink pedals and handlebars, which could have been swapped if he did have a change of heart. When he saw the picture and I’d explained with it being lighter he would be faster, he was instantly sold, plus it was a decent bike which was perfect for him to learn on. Could you look for something a bit more multicoloured, with some pink bits and perhaps still with a basket if that’s what he really likes, in case by next year his favourite colour has changed? (I don’t believe at all that you shouldn’t buy him a pink bike because he’s a boy though, so if he’s not easily wooed by a multicoloured bike I’d still buy the pink! But I would 100% avoid a heavy one.)

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 03/04/2025 22:06

Helplessandheartbroke · 03/04/2025 22:05

Why does my opinion matter to you so much is my point? My son basically has whatever he chooses but I wouldn't encourage him to get for example sparkly pink crocs. And that's my opinion. I'm wondering if and why others on here would put their boy in sparkly pink crocs???!!! But that would mean I'm on here all night debating and I cba

Show quote history

So he gets whatever he chooses unless he chooses pink sparkly crocs?

Helplessandheartbroke · 03/04/2025 22:07

SouthLondonMum22 · 03/04/2025 22:03

Of course it's sexist. Stating that boys can't use something simply because it is pink is the very definition of sexism.

What would make a pink top 'boyish'?

Show quote history

Well it wouldn't have barbie on it for example

FairlyTired · 03/04/2025 22:07

If it's one he will grow out of soon I'd get it. If it's one that converts to being a peddle bike that he'll be using for a couple of years I wouldn't unless you have money for a replacement as he likely won't want it soon.
Our son happily used his sisters handed down bikes until around turning 5, then wanted one like his friends and didn't want a "girls" bike anymore.

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 03/04/2025 22:07

Helplessandheartbroke · 03/04/2025 22:07

Well it wouldn't have barbie on it for example

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I wouldn't buy a child of either sex a top with Barbie on it tbh.

SouthLondonMum22 · 03/04/2025 22:07

Helplessandheartbroke · 03/04/2025 22:05

Why does my opinion matter to you so much is my point? My son basically has whatever he chooses but I wouldn't encourage him to get for example sparkly pink crocs. And that's my opinion. I'm wondering if and why others on here would put their boy in sparkly pink crocs???!!! But that would mean I'm on here all night debating and I cba

Show quote history

I would. Why not? They are just shoes and if he likes them, that's all that matters.

Sparkles are fun.

Obvnotthegolden · 03/04/2025 22:08

I'm going to play devil's advocate only because there was a post recently where the op's young D's had a pink sparkly bike or scooter and got teased at school, to the point where he was upset at the op for allowing him to get it.

if he were to get teased, make sure you know how you will help your ds. How will he manage? The op I'm thinking of said her son was very sensitive and it affected him badly.

But your son might be different and take it in his stride.

I would normally say "get him what he has chosen" but that post made me see how it's not always straightforward.

This might help
www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5289035-ds-being-picked-on-at-school-aibu-to-help-him-change-a-little

TheJollyMoose · 03/04/2025 22:08

Nope. Absolutely not.

Eldermilleniallyogii · 03/04/2025 22:09

My husband would be the same but I would second guess it too not because I think it means anything but I'd wonder if he looks like he's riding his sister's bike! My son's favourite colours are purple and pink.

Sodthesystem · 03/04/2025 22:10

I think at 3 it's fine.

When he starts school he may want to change it but you can cross that bridge when it comes to it.

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 03/04/2025 22:11

Gemstar3 · 03/04/2025 22:06

When my DS was that age he also wanted a pink bike. In theory I had no qualms with that, but for something as long-lasting and expensive as a bike, my concern was that in a year or so he might change his mind, especially if someone else convinced him it was a “girl’s” bike. I didn’t want to have to prematurely buy another one because it was just one bright distinctive colour. The pink bike in question was also more “toy” bike, which as you say OP, tend to be heavier.

I found a lightweight silver bike with pink pedals and handlebars, which could have been swapped if he did have a change of heart. When he saw the picture and I’d explained with it being lighter he would be faster, he was instantly sold, plus it was a decent bike which was perfect for him to learn on. Could you look for something a bit more multicoloured, with some pink bits and perhaps still with a basket if that’s what he really likes, in case by next year his favourite colour has changed? (I don’t believe at all that you shouldn’t buy him a pink bike because he’s a boy though, so if he’s not easily wooed by a multicoloured bike I’d still buy the pink! But I would 100% avoid a heavy one.)

The point about the weight is a good one. Lighter bikes are much easier to ride.

My son had a cheap white balance bike from Decathlon. @LifesUturn You could get one of those and put a basket on it and let your son decorate it with stickers of his choosing?

Laura95167 · 03/04/2025 22:12

LifesUturn · 03/04/2025 21:46

I had said to his dad before what would you do if he was gay he just said .... well he's not going to be....I obviously shot that down and said if he is then he is. To me as long as he's happy and himself then why should it matter

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He might grow up and be gay, he might just like pink. Neither is a big deal.

But having parents you support you in the most authentic version of yourself is a big deal and DP needs to support that the way you do

saltinesandcoffeecups · 03/04/2025 22:12

Obvnotthegolden · 03/04/2025 22:08

I'm going to play devil's advocate only because there was a post recently where the op's young D's had a pink sparkly bike or scooter and got teased at school, to the point where he was upset at the op for allowing him to get it.

if he were to get teased, make sure you know how you will help your ds. How will he manage? The op I'm thinking of said her son was very sensitive and it affected him badly.

But your son might be different and take it in his stride.

I would normally say "get him what he has chosen" but that post made me see how it's not always straightforward.

This might help
www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5289035-ds-being-picked-on-at-school-aibu-to-help-him-change-a-little

Edited

Thanks this is the thread I was thinking about in my response to the OP.

Original poster
LifesUturn · 03/04/2025 22:13

I think if it was a pedal bike I'd second guess it more because of them lasting longer and knowing he will more than likely change his mind. He went through a stage of everything blue...but he seems to favour purple but since seeing this bike it's- blue shop (smyths) get pink bike.....and my pink bike when he sees it in the catalogue....he salvaged a smyths catalogue from the recycling and pointed out both the balance bike and the pedal bike of the exact same style and colour

OP posts:
LucyMonth · 03/04/2025 22:14

Obvnotthegolden · 03/04/2025 22:08

I'm going to play devil's advocate only because there was a post recently where the op's young D's had a pink sparkly bike or scooter and got teased at school, to the point where he was upset at the op for allowing him to get it.

if he were to get teased, make sure you know how you will help your ds. How will he manage? The op I'm thinking of said her son was very sensitive and it affected him badly.

But your son might be different and take it in his stride.

I would normally say "get him what he has chosen" but that post made me see how it's not always straightforward.

This might help
www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5289035-ds-being-picked-on-at-school-aibu-to-help-him-change-a-little

Edited

He’s just turning 3 though and it’s a balance bike…who’s he getting teased by at this point? Other than his own Dad I guess! He’s not going to be riding it to school with his mates. He’ll just be pootling about on it with his family surely?

My 3 year old DS has a pink bike with streamers, a pink seat for his bunny that he loves and he’s only ever riding it with me or his Dad, and both of us wouldn’t hesitate to tear a strip of any kid who was mean about his bike. By the time he’s old enough to do any proper biking he’ll need a new bike anyway.

OP my son also rides his pink, streamered bike with a green dinosaur helmet 😂

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 03/04/2025 22:14

https://www.decathlon.co.uk/p/balance-bike-runride-100-white//R-p-313109

This is the one my son had.

You could definitely customise it.

Original poster
LifesUturn · 03/04/2025 22:15

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 03/04/2025 22:11

The point about the weight is a good one. Lighter bikes are much easier to ride.

My son had a cheap white balance bike from Decathlon. @LifesUturn You could get one of those and put a basket on it and let your son decorate it with stickers of his choosing?

Show quote history

That's a really good idea. He loves stickers and easily removed if he wants to change. Thankyou

OP posts:
OneTC · 03/04/2025 22:19

The bike is awesome but 100% sure that dickheads will give him shit about it. I know this because I have ridden a pink bike daily for 15 years and people feel compelled to tell me about it

Original poster
LifesUturn · 03/04/2025 22:21

What age have/going to transition to a pedal bike? He's only just gone into 2-3 jeans so has little legs

OP posts: