Friend has asked to borrow money but I’m not sure

[sunrisesunshine]

Good morning

My close friend has asked to borrow money from me and I’m struggling to make a decision.

The money is for a car repair, roughly 2k. Maybe a bit more. The car has failed the MOT and requires this work before the mechanic can pass it. My friend and her partner both have poor credit scores due to previous debt and they’re unable to use a credit card to cover the cost. They can’t afford to sell the car and buy another one and they also don’t have any savings. I have around 5k.

There’s a few reasons why I don’t think it’s a good idea:

1. I’m single and bought my first house last year. My savings are there to cover any emergencies, if I lose my job or something in the house needs fixing. I don’t have a partner or any family to support me financially if something goes wrong.
2. Her partner received a large pay out from his previous employer last year (around 22k) which they used to live off instead of working. I think it was careless to not save any money.
3. I have no way of enforcing them to pay if they decide not to… right?!

I know it will be an awkward conversation if I say no though. I feel like they’ve put me in a crappy situation.

If you lend them more the dynamic of your friendship will change immediately.

Instead of appreciating what you have done for them you will be the bad guy who is demanding money they don't have. They will resent YOU 😮 and you will be constantly in edge waiting for them to voluntarily repay you. They won't do this and in their eyes you will be the nasty person who is stressing them out when you know they have no money.

Say no. If they are frosty about it then you know how much they value and respect you.

They have absolutely no intention of repaying you - look at all the other debts they've racked up. These are "official" debts which they will prioritise over your generous favour.

They are complete CFs for asking in the first place.

Absolutely not..cf's for even asking.

As others have said, don't do it- unless you're happy to never see the money again.

They didn't feel bad about asking you so don't feel bad for saying no. You don't need to explain yourself.

If they dump you as a friend as a result well, they weren't much of a friend to begin with.

This.

Give her the money as a present or not at all.

Me too. I actually took out a loan to help someone out, it was an awful
lot to me at the time. They have since come into very large sums. Never gave it back

As usual on these threads what one person considers a loan turns out to be a gift. If you can afford to lose it then loan it but accept it will cost you

Please just tell them you can't afford it. These things nearly always end badly.

They lived off their savings and now they want yours. No way! I wouldn't even bother with a white lie to save their feelings. They're not real friends.

No.

No. No. No.

And no is a full sentence.

just been in a simiar circ when a neighbour has asked me to contribute to replacing a shared facility. There is absolutely nothing wrong with it but its looking slightly worn. I just told her "very sorry I can't afford it"

I would just keep the number twenty two THOUSAND pounds in my head when communicating with these people.

It was their choice to throw £22,000 away, now they can sort out the consequences of their choice. It's no one else's problem.

Do they know you have savings? I don't think I would be lending it.

£2k is a massive percentage of your total savings, don’t do it. They’re dumbasses for not working or saving any of their £22k. £22k is not enough for that sort of change. Look after yourself op!

I don’t have a partner or any family to support me financially if something goes wrong.

Just noticed this - absolute hard no giving/lending them the money.

Tell them you need to live off your savings, just as they did. If you can't afford to lose money, never lend it.

Exactly op wouldn't be on their radar to pay back.
They'd be her best pals up until they get the money and then they'd avoid her like the plague.it would be excuse after excuse how they can't manage to pay this month etc.
MN is littered with threads where CF don't pay back borrowed money.
Just a flat no op you don't have to explain yourself to these moochers.

Don’t do it!! They’re being unreasonable to ask you and based on the way you’ve said they handle money, you’ll never get it back.

But it’s really very simple to say no. If you feel awkward about it, say you don’t have the money. If they dare to question why, just say you’ve had to spend it on things that needed doing in your house or something, but you’re really not obliged to give an explanation- “trust me when I say I don’t have the money to give you” is enough, followed by “please don’t try and interrogate me about my finances, you have no right to know” if they push the issue.

You're having to make a choice between having an awkward conversation and more than likely losing the £2K.

I know what i would choose!

No. You shouldn't even be thinking about it.
Needing £2k is not an issue for your friends to sort out or be in any way responsible for.

No! You’d be raving mad to say yes.

They had £22k and they chose to spent it all rather than work, if they have a problem it's their own fault. Keep your money Op, if you have an emergency you'll need it

The simple answer is 'no'. They have taken the piss even asking you.
You aren't in a financial position to lose the money, which is what will happen if you give it to them. Even a small claims court would question why you gave money to someone you know cannot repay. There is no need to be awkward, though; you just reply, 'No, I am not in a position to help; everything has gone up in costs.' If this work has followed on from an MOT, then they booked the car in advance, so they knew this was coming up why they have not factored this into their savings is bizarre! I suspect they knew it would fail and hoped they would guilt people into helping them out once they got the news from the garage. Rushing people into making a decision from the heart and not the head.

Terrible thing to ask you when you only have 5k in savings. And you'll never see it again. Say no and refuse to discuss it any more.

They blew 22k and didn't keep any back for emergencies?! You'll probably never see that money again if you lend it to them. Unless you are happy to kiss goodbye to nearly half of your own hard-earned savings and security just to keep the peace, it should be a hard no.

Can you say "no, sorry, actually I was thinking about asking you if you had £500 you could lend me for repairs needed on my house, so I guess neither of us are in a position to lend money! "