Friend has asked to borrow money but I’m not sure

[sunrisesunshine]

Good morning

My close friend has asked to borrow money from me and I’m struggling to make a decision.

The money is for a car repair, roughly 2k. Maybe a bit more. The car has failed the MOT and requires this work before the mechanic can pass it. My friend and her partner both have poor credit scores due to previous debt and they’re unable to use a credit card to cover the cost. They can’t afford to sell the car and buy another one and they also don’t have any savings. I have around 5k.

There’s a few reasons why I don’t think it’s a good idea:

1. I’m single and bought my first house last year. My savings are there to cover any emergencies, if I lose my job or something in the house needs fixing. I don’t have a partner or any family to support me financially if something goes wrong.
2. Her partner received a large pay out from his previous employer last year (around 22k) which they used to live off instead of working. I think it was careless to not save any money.
3. I have no way of enforcing them to pay if they decide not to… right?!

I know it will be an awkward conversation if I say no though. I feel like they’ve put me in a crappy situation.

A big fat no from me too.
You can't afford to lose the money so don't lend it to them. They've proved themselves to be crap at handling their finances so they'll be no better with your money. Do not lend them a bean.

They lived on 22k instead of working so are they jobless?

I can’t see how they would afford to pay it back and it will be way more awkward chasing them for it.

Say you can’t afford it.

No. Lend no one anything. Why do they know you have money?

I play the broke card all the time otherwise you get tapped for more than your fair share of everything and people expect you to pay for them all the time.

I have two kids in private school. As far as anyone is concerned I’m on my arse paying the fees when it couldn’t be further from the truth.

Nobody ever asks me for anything anymore.

Just don't. What if your car needs 2k worth of work, or your boiler packs up? Your money is your emergency fund, not for their use. They sound feckless, and you wouldn't get it back.

£2k from a £5k savings pot is a huge amount to risk, no way for that reason alone, as you say, you need it for emergencies.

I don't lend to anyone, if I'm in a position to help, and I want to, I'll give money when it's needed, but I'm not getting involved with lending and all the bad feeling that will inevitably bring.

There's a reason the professional lenders won't lend to these people, never risk more than you can afford to lose

Andbyes, why do they know you have savings? Never give anyone that information.

I was always told that you should only lend money to someone that you would be ok with never getting back.

There are countless reasons why people don’t end up paying back money they owe and unless you’re willing to spend ever more money taking it down the legal route you’ve lost it for good.

In your position I would say sorry but no. It’s too risky.

Read other threads, there's a current one where someone's DH lent a fair whack with no documentation etc
I would personally say no and just white lie and say that it's all tied up in bonds or investments that have restricted withdrawal conditions.
But if you decide to do it then do it with a proper loan agreement which outlines what you've lent and how and when you will be repaid and what happens if it is not eg interest.

Please do not do this. You'll lose the money and the friend. I know this from bitter personal experience.

No. Only lend what you can afford to lose and there’s no way you can afford 2000 out of 5000 savings. Your friend needs to learn how to manage money and she won’t if you come in to save her.

An absolute No! Do not lend your friend money! If they are struggling financially, how would they pay you back?! £2K is a lot of money to pay back, and could take years, rather than months, especially if it's £25 one month, nothing the next, then another £50!!! You could end up losing the money completely, if they didn't pay. It's honestly not worth the risk. If they received a £22K payout last year, and saved nothing, and didn't work, that's not your problem. You aren't responsible for others poor financial planning or money management!

They have demonstrated that they won't be able to pay you back and your not in a position to lose half of your savings. 5k on house emergencies quickly disappears!

I would just say sorry I don't have that sort of money to lose.

Someone once gave me very good advise: do not lend money you are not prepared to lose.

‘No, I can’t’

You fear it being awkward - it’ll be a lot more awkward when you don’t get paid back and see them spending money on frivolous things, leaving you resentful and regretful. Just don’t.

Op really can't afford it ,it's nearly half her savings.
Also if her friend and partner are piss poor with their own money they're not going to give two fucks about op.
She will never see that money again.
Don't do it op!!!

Do not under any circumstances lend them the money. Don't even consider it. You will NEVER get the money back. If they have a bad credit score, a history of debt and no money spare for a car repair, what makes you think they will be able to put money aside each month to pay you back?!

You have £5k saved up for emergency savings. Giving away £2k of that is a huge % and will put you in a precarious position.

There is no upside at all to this. They will just have to go without a car like thousands and thousands of people (even well-off ones) do each day. They can get public transport until they save up.

Don't do it. It won't end well. You will never see that money again. If they ask, just say you don't have any to spare at the moment to lend but hope they can work something out.

Refuse; You will be the very last of the priorities in their budget. I lent someone £600 a few years ago, Quite a lot of money has gone through their hands since. I got Nothing. Nada.

No, don’t do this. I doubt you’ll get it back

Say no or it will not end well.

You either
• loose a friend or
• loose £2k and a friend.

Never lend money you cant afford to lose

Unless you can afford to throw the £2k away (because it’s highly unlikely you’ll get it back) just give them a firm NO.

Say I’m not in a position to lend you money.

Dont say because….they’ll take that as a starting point & try to get around your reasons
Dont say at this time as they’ll come up with suggestions as to how you can get around the time

They are awful with money & spend thrifts. You won’t see your money back.

Stay firm, I’m not in a position to lend you money

No of course not.

No way. They are bad with money. Who gets 22k ans just uses it for living off instead of working. Tell them you don't have much and its tied up in long term anyway so can't be touched without penalties

I’d also bet they’ve gone to others to ask for money. Absolutely shameless of them to put you in that position