Friend has asked to borrow money but I’m not sure

[sunrisesunshine]

Good morning

My close friend has asked to borrow money from me and I’m struggling to make a decision.

The money is for a car repair, roughly 2k. Maybe a bit more. The car has failed the MOT and requires this work before the mechanic can pass it. My friend and her partner both have poor credit scores due to previous debt and they’re unable to use a credit card to cover the cost. They can’t afford to sell the car and buy another one and they also don’t have any savings. I have around 5k.

There’s a few reasons why I don’t think it’s a good idea:

1. I’m single and bought my first house last year. My savings are there to cover any emergencies, if I lose my job or something in the house needs fixing. I don’t have a partner or any family to support me financially if something goes wrong.
2. Her partner received a large pay out from his previous employer last year (around 22k) which they used to live off instead of working. I think it was careless to not save any money.
3. I have no way of enforcing them to pay if they decide not to… right?!

I know it will be an awkward conversation if I say no though. I feel like they’ve put me in a crappy situation.

No, just don’t do it

Hard no from me. Like my username says. There are consequences to choices - they need to own theirs

Absolutely not. I'll lend up to about £50 because I know if I didn't get it back, I'd be pissed off but it wouldn't leave me financially vulnerable. It's also really irritating when you lend someone money, they arse about paying it back and then you see them going out or buying stuff,

Don't do it OP

Keep you hard earned savings close

How can they not have anything left of the £22k!!

It’s better to lose the friendship now and still have the cash rather than “lend” them the money and lose the friendship anyway (and not have the money) when they can’t pay it back - “oh sunrise really I didnt think you’d want us to pay it back you knew we were broke and you weren’t using it anyway”

No, no, no

They’ve shown they’re irresponsible with money.

Not your problem to solve.

ABSOLUTELY NOT!

Never lend to friends. Ever. I was asked years ago for a loan by my oldest friend (a much smaller sum and she was so skint she couldn't afford food). I refused - but GAVE her the money and subsequently filled her freezer every time I visited for some time after.

Never lend.

Absolutely not! Keep your money. These threads always go the same way. Someone lends money then the friend doesn’t pay it back and the friendship ends

'No, I'm sorry, but buying my house left me with just enough savings in case of an emergency. I can't afford to be without it.'

In future, don't let on you have savings. There's always someone who wants a loan.

So between both of them they have no parents, siblings, or relatives who could club together and help them out?

Probably because they have already bled them dry and they can't do it again!

If you really want to do something, make a gesture and offer them £100 as that is all you can afford right now. No need to explain further.

Or just say you can't at the moment, sorry.

Then their poor choices are going to affect them. Not your problem to solve.

For goodness sake, NO!
They have blown 22k and now want you to stump up half of your savings for their car.
If you’ve ever had a car in that state you know it’s a bottomless pit. The 2K will become another 2K.
They can’t afford to repay you because they can’t afford to fix their own car.
Life is shit at times. Lots of us have had to give up cars because we just couldn’t afford them.
She is not your friend, either. Thinks you are a soft touch. It will end the friendship anyway because if you give her the money you will never see it again.
A CF of the highest order!

Nope you don’t exactly have money to lose. Owning a house when things go wrong, you need to have some money for emergencies. They have pissed up money up the wall. They should of thought about their kids and car when quitting their jobs for a years holiday. There’s a reason why they have bad credit too. DO NOT do it.

I can't believe that two people who have four children to support between them think it's a good idea to leave their jobs and stop working because they have received a fairly large but not life changing sum of money. It's certainly not enough for anyone with any common sense to stop working.

Do not lend them any money. They are being really cheeky asking you. Just tell them that you don't have the money.

No, no, no!
I wouldn’t comment on their life choices I would just say that you had plans for the house and that would wipe out all your savings for this and for emergencies. And just leave it there.

It is not your responsibility to pay for their ineptitude and they have a history of poor financial management, which is why they took holidays with a windfall and are now looking for other people to fund their everyday costs.

If you lend them this money, it's highly likely you will

i) never get it back
ii) find when you try to get it back, your friendship is utterly destroyed by this
iii) need it for something and then find out they have blown money on luxuries while not paying you back.

could you say its tied up with investments,

How careless they were and are with money especially when they have four children relying on them.

You should not give them any money and should not feel bad about it. However, I understand so the fact they don't know how much you have in savings is good. Say you only have one grand which is for an emergency x

When it comes to friends asking for money, the approach is clear-cut: say no.
And you don't have to come up with a justification for your answer: "I can't loan you any money. I hope you find someone else".
If she asks for a reason, "I prefer not to talk about my financial situation".
If she starts sulking, then you'll know she is not a good friend. A good friend would respect your decision.

It’s a no. How are they going to pay it back? Their crappy credit says it all unfortunately… just say you don’t have that kind of money to spare which you don’t. You don’t need to elaborate.
A good friend would back off. If you have to tell friend the money is not accessible.

No, a flat no.

If they have a go at you or drop you as a friend then you know they were only out to use you.

Absolutely disgusting that she asked you in the first place. A genuine friend wouldn't even think to ask you.

No, they chose holidays over savings for emergencies. They could have bought a new car even.

It’s a no from me too. One awkward conversation saying no is better than lots of awkward conversations trying to get them to repay it. It will ruin the relationship.

No. It’s nearly half of all your savings and YOU may need it…. Unless you are happy to lose the 2k I’d simply say that you can’t/wont/don’t have the money

No
Unfortunately whether you give it to them or not your friendship is now damaged but if they don't pay you back it would be destroyed
The ony way I would do this (if it were affordable) would be as a gift.