How much do you have to do with your SIL’s? I want to know if this is normal-ish.
I have 4 SIL’s, we are all 50’s. None of them live very near me, the closest is about an hour and a half. I see them a couple of times a year. I get along really well with 3 of them ( my brother’s wives). I’ve known them for decades and when we meet we have a lovely time.
In contrast, my other SIL irrationally makes my blood boil and turns me into someone I don’t recognise. It’s my DHs sister, who I’ve known for 3 decades and she just winds me up no end.
I’m now 50 and I’ve told my DH that I just don’t want her in my life. He of course can go and do what he likes with his sister, but I don’t want to be included, and I’m not hosting her and her DH who is an arrogant arsehole. Even though DH thinks his sister’s behaviour is pretty awful, he’s upset that I’ve said this. I am not being rude to her, I just don’t want to hang out with her. It resulted in a very big argument. I don’t make my DH do anything with my family.
One of main issues I have with her is that I feel she is “in my face” whereas my other SILs aren’t. An example is other SIL has huge opinions on the things we do/buy/ choose/ adult DC and voices them usually negatively to our face or via MIL. I just don’t think anything we do is any of her business. Perhaps DH, but not the rest of us.
I’ve said “no thanks” or “I’m busy” to a few invitation's and it’s caused a bit of an atmosphere but TBH she’ll ignore or be snotty to me if I’m there so I don’t want to go.
How do I navigate this with my DH? He’s upset with me. I’d love a relationship with her like my other SIL’s but it’s never going to happen as she basically sees me as an interloper and has never let me forget it and now I just CBA with her drama.
YABU - get along with her for DH’s sake
YANBU - you’ve been a mug for putting up with it for 30 years