To think this packed lunch is fine?

[Lunchwoes]

So about a month ago DSD switched from hot lunches to packed lunch. She goes to school from our house Monday and Tuesday so I pack her lunch.

Today her Mum has text DH and said she's always starving when she gets in Mon and Tuesday so she needs bigger lunches. He said no problem we will make them a bit bigger or pack an extra snack for later as she has netball on a Tuesday after school.

Now this is the crazy bit, she said she just buys her Tesco meal deals as they fill her up and asked that we do the same!

For info she had a cheese and tomato omelette with a slice of toast for breakfast. Her packed lunch was a roast chicken and salad wrap, apple slices and peanut butter, a Greek yogurt and some celery sticks with hummus.

I will obviously very happily pack extra if she's hungry but a tesco meal deal?!

The only time my dd ever argued about having processed crap, years ago, she was spending the money on sweets etc!

According to who? Plenty of schools allow peanut butter.
Allergy UK.advise against banning it from schools as people with peanut allergy need to learn to manage the real world.
I have worked in upwards of 15 schools and not one had a peanut butter ban.

I’m late to the thread and only read OP replies - is it that DSD doesn’t want to take a physical lunch box? my DC went through a phase of not wanting to take in a packed lunch box from home; they’d have much preferred to take a shop bought sandwich, already packaged, daft as it sounds. Multiple pots of houmous/veg sticks/whatever was what younger children took. Just a thought..

As a teen i had a paste or ham sandwhich with a choc bar… penguin/kit kat. crisps on morning break. ahhh the 90s. I don’t remember being hungry. Lunch wasn’t a big deal. Eat and go!

Im in Scotland so maybe it’s different. All the primary schools I’m aware of are nut free but the kids all wander around for lunch in high school so there’s no real way to police it even if they tried to ban anything. Our school doesn’t have a lunchroom and kids can leave to get whatever at the shops. My daughter apparently just finds a corner of the parking lot to eat lunch with her friends. No idea how kids with allergies manage - my daughter has a shellfish allergy but thankfully not airborne so she’s been fine so far!

No

You are talking absolute rubbish.

Why isn't her dad handling her lunch box? I don't get this. For those saying her parents should decide, sure, but then her parents should take care of the lunch box from a to z. If mum's not happy you say talk to the dad. Tell your dh he needs to take responsability fir his daughter's lunch boxes. You sound very kind and your lunch sounds great but it's not really your job. And it's not like you get "thank you for doing this for my daughter" from either parent.

As an aside that lunch sounds fab for me and I might just copy you tomorrow.

my daughter eats more than I do and I’m overweight and not dieting. She’s tiny but super active so can eat everything and anything - and does.

I think you need to add more carbs personally - change from a wrap to a roll and maybe some pretzels or similar. And a snack for later.

it’s really lovely how much you care about her.

im going to get lynched by the healthy brigade here but.....shes 12 and in high school. Its tough enough without celery and houmous - as lovely as that is!
She needs a sandwich, packet of crisps, chocolate bar/cake thing and an apple. Not a banana, an apple. the apple will most likely be thrown in the bin, but it makes you feel better.

Sorry, its a nice pack up, its not a high school pack up

Even when I was in the office every day pre COVID I didn't have a meal deal every day. It's an expensive and wasteful habit when you can make the same thing at home at a fraction of the price.

Sorry you're getting a bit of a pile on OP, hopefully the changes will go down well with DSD.

I think it sounds like a delicious lunch! My 12 year old would probably ask for more food, he does from time to time (then doesn't eat the extra food, haha) I think you've got it right- just take her shopping and let her pick a few bits. I have noticed they do seem to want to "fit in" and have what others have so I do compromise with still the wraps and fruit, yogurt but maybe a small pack of crisps as well. She's lucky to have you care for her

I don't get why being hungry is a problem. You're meant to be hungry before your next meal. If she is hungry when she comes home, she could have a snack and wait for dinner.

To feel satiated longer, you need protein and fibre.

SummerDaysOnTheWay · Today 20:21
And you are totally illegally sending in peanut butter!**
😂

I do think some secondary school kids would want a bit more than this but since the mum said a meal deal… maybe not here? It’s usually the softest, crappy UPF bread which I can inhale in a minute or so as it’s so unfilling, I assume crisps on the side and a drink eg a small orange juice or can of a fizzy drink. Unless she’s getting a pasta salad pot? They’re still a bit small though, the ones that qualify for the meal deal. The ones that don’t are much better.

I’d do two well filled wraps, with a good ratio of protein to salad (eg generous amount of chicken), and everything else you added. Sounds lovely.

I’d maybe try to get a bit of a menu going for those two days to mix it up a bit - but also be getting DH on board to make it, at least half the time! Eg could do a wrap the one day and a baguette the next with some crisps, berries as well as the yoghurt, pot of grapes, cheese and crackers, etc etc. I’d ask what her favourite sandwich fillings and snacks are which I’m sure you have/know.

@Lunchwoes - does your DSD want to physically leave school and go to Tesco first the meal deal?

I have PTSD from my DC’s school lunch dramas.

-First half of year 1 - nearly everyone stays in school for canteen or packed lunch
-second half year 1 - braver kids start going out for lunch to shops/garage/van
-years 2, 3 and 4 - only “the gimps” stay in school for canteen/packed lunch and everyone else goes to the garage for cup noodles/Tesco etc for meal deal/massive bags of sweets or takeaway for chips and curry sauce
-years 5 and 6 - cool to take your own lunch of salad with balsamic glaze/pesto pasta/hummus and veg sticks. Going for cup noodles etc is childish in the extreme.

I hated what my DC were having for lunch but just tried to make sure they ate better at home. My 6’4” nephew lived off micro pizzas for about 3 years and is disgustingly fit and healthy.

IME it’s less about the food and more about the lunchtime social rituals.

I hope you told your child how offensive and horrible that word is. I’d have probably made mine take a packed lunch if they’d come out with anything like that infront of me.

Of course I did. They have grown into loving, empathic and truly wonderful young adults but I’m not going to pretend they were perfect as impressionable teens. It took a lot of modelling behaviour, love and appropriate challenge to get them where they are.

It depends what meal deal she's having, the pasta or triple sandwiches are very filling, or even the bacon sausage ones with the protein.

Apple slices? 🤣 She’s not 5. The girl is hungry because she’s not eating that in front of her mates at high school.

There are worse things than a Tesco meal deal.

My DD is 10 but the height of a 13 year old and on club days she has 3 wraps or equivalent packed, one just with butter or spread (as requested but therefore lighter!). She also has a pack of small rice cakes, a healthy sweet treat, a bar or something, an apple, carrot sticks and cucumber minimum.
I leave the ‘extra snacks’ in the front of her bag so she can just grab it.
if they are leaving home at 8.30 and doing clubs until 6/7 then that’s quite a long time.
I am surprised any nut butter is allowed in the school.

If your including peanut butter, school may be removing it. Try her with a sandwich instead of a wrap. Essentially her mum is sending a sandwich and crisp or a cereal bar like snack.

To clear a few things up.

She has netball until about 4:15 and is home by 4:30.

Peanut butter is not banned in school.

Her chosen meal deal is a chicken and bacon pasta with a large pack of McCoy's crisps and a sugary smoothie. Although I'm obviously more than happy to pack larger lunches and as has been pointed out to me less babyish lunches nobody is convincing me that particular meal lunch is suitable and nutritious for a child.

Thanks for all the advice, I have taken it onboard.