To think this packed lunch is fine?

[Lunchwoes]

So about a month ago DSD switched from hot lunches to packed lunch. She goes to school from our house Monday and Tuesday so I pack her lunch.

Today her Mum has text DH and said she's always starving when she gets in Mon and Tuesday so she needs bigger lunches. He said no problem we will make them a bit bigger or pack an extra snack for later as she has netball on a Tuesday after school.

Now this is the crazy bit, she said she just buys her Tesco meal deals as they fill her up and asked that we do the same!

For info she had a cheese and tomato omelette with a slice of toast for breakfast. Her packed lunch was a roast chicken and salad wrap, apple slices and peanut butter, a Greek yogurt and some celery sticks with hummus.

I will obviously very happily pack extra if she's hungry but a tesco meal deal?!

I haven't read the whole thread, but my DC would not exactly be hungry eating all that lot, especially with a decent breakfast, but would feel like they were "missing out". So I wonder if it's more that she isn't interested in eating chopped veg and hummus when her friends are munching on crisps and chocolate.

I know you said you are both dentists, so I understand you wanting to limit sugar etc, but I would add either a bar of chocolate, packet of crisps, or something (rice cakes, some homebaked treat like a muffin) to the lunch rather than give her the meal deals every day.

DS is now old enough that he can leave the school grounds at lunchtime and every day my revolut was pinging to say he'd spent x amount in Tesco. His lunch was sometimes going partly uneaten (especially the fruit and veg it has to be said), so he now gets a treat added to his lunchbox and the revolut pinging is much rarer.

The difficulty I have with dentists saying a complete no to sugary drinks is that clearly many people drink them in moderation and are absolutely fine. My dentist mum didn't allow me much in the way of chocolates and sweets as all as a child, but even I could see the disjointed logic that my friends who had a chocolate bar mid afternoon now and again also had no fillings like me. I honestly still find it really hard to judge now how much sugar (or fruit, or squash) i can give my own children because it was such an all or nothing approach. I find it hard to believe her friends who have smoothies with a meal have a mouth full of cavities.

My 14 year old has a two slice bread sandwich, such as ham, egg, tuna, with salad and a piece of fruit every day. I worry its not enough but he is happy, makes his own lunch each morning I agree the daughter may not like your offering, or the Mum feels slighted by your homemade offering.

Let them eat cake!

As Marie Antoinette once said.

You have been far too good to said brat child..

Know growing teenagers can be like hungry wolves and are always starving.

But she is used to eating crap by the sounds of it and loves it to boot.

How much are Tesco meal deals these days? About £4 ish. Wouldn't be on the agenda as far a l would be concerrned

SOLUTION

Go to. ALDI Evety week, buy a couple of their cheapest white loaves of bread and a load of jars of meat and fish paste. 49p a pop. Eggs are also a good filler

Plus a pack of budget cheese slices. and a cheap tin of sardines if the fancy takes you.

Oh Yes. Also a tub of of the cheaoest margarine that they stock

Then make a shit load of sandwiches for her once a week and put them in your freezer.

She can have cheese on toast for breakie.

As l am in a generous mood roday. You could also get her a one cheap bottle of water per day. Or better still use tap water

If you want her to really start growing up ,you could even get her to make her own breakfast and sandwiches.

Best Regards
👍👩‍🍳🥪🥪🥪🥪🥪🥪
Ebenezer Srooge's Mam

Forgot to say. Cup of soups are also a cheap filling and good in the cold weather.

The reason you have difficulty determining how much is okay is largely due to the manipulation of science by companies like Coca Cola. It's not your fault. A lot of commonly held beliefs about moderation, a calorie is a calorie, calories in/calories out, come from corporate backed paid "research"

This is just one source.

www.ucs.org/resources/how-coca-cola-disguised-its-influence-science-about-sugar-and-health

No, my issue is that I saw that most people had a far more relaxed attitude to sugary snacks and drinks than my mum did and yet I know for a fact my friends growing up had no fillings. My children have more sugar growing up than I did, though I still moderate their intake, and have no dental issues. Surely it's only logical that dentists like the OP are being OTT - the children coming in needing multiple fillings are not needing them because they have a smoothie with their lunch every couple of days, it's caused by far more than that.

Who on earth buys tesco meal deal for kid to take to school! It's weird.

I had strict instructions for high school not to make babyish lunch. Sandwich, bit of fruit and a smoothie (homemade one as cheaper).

Dc now tend to buy lunch at school. Middle dc is fond of a wrap.

Your wrap sounds lovely. Perhaps two of them and some fruit. I'd ask dsd what she fancies. Homemade pasta sounds a winner.

I would imagine (since Tesco meal deals tend to be a thing you buy on the day) that the child is provided with money to buy lunch and chooses to go to Tesco (potentially with friends, so there is a social "fitting in" element here too) and buy a meal deal rather then buying lunch at school.

(This is a very common thing to do at my DC's school, where there is a Tesco express 2 minutes walk from school).

Because she's obviously programmed to eat processed food, and probably doesn't eat your carefully prepared excellent lunch. Ask your dsd what she'd prefer.

Agree with others, let her make her own. Although SS just has money on his school card and gets what he wants whilst she is at school. Is that not an option?

Apple slices 😂 she’s not a baby. Give her extra wrap as PP suggested. An apple and a banana. Even cold boiled eggs are a good sources of protein and will fill her up. Also protein bagel thins are a really healthy, protein that will fill her up and not too bready

@Lunchwoes i just want to say I think you sound like a brilliant step mum. Love how you say you guys work as a family unit.

There are posters on here who won’t do their step kids washing and I think it’s just the most bizarre family situation to get yourself in.

Back to the lunch - it sounds amazing but I agree with previous posters get her more involved. I wouldn’t be doing a smoothie either! - and would explain my reasons why, but yes let her have more input into the food. Good luck.

I agree. My DS is 17 and 6’2”. He has the same as your 14yr old and he manages fine. I think a small healthy lunch works.

Surely we need to be challenging this idea that healthy lunch is babyish? I was horrified that at the transition to secondary my DC no longer had the option to sit down to eat with cutlery, were given the run of a canteen full of takeaway junk etc, and had to scarf it down quickly. Their lunch experiences at secondary will define their habits for life! Why do people think it's okay for kids to eat crap as soon as they hit year 7?

Also, my DC have a step mum and I appreciate the work she puts into feeding them. I wouldn't question her menu - that's for the DC to negotiate if they have an issue. You sound like a lovely, caring stepmum!

Sure but not with the children. The fight is with the council or the school design or something else. My daughter has nowhere to sit for lunch so her food has to be eaten while wandering around or perched on the side of the parking lot somewhere. She brought soup one day and it was a mess. At the end of the day, if a child is hungry they need more food.

For me the obvious answer is that the girl here packs her own lunch with parameters. My kids pack their own at 8/12 and they know they need a carb, protein, fruit or veg and a filling snack. We have a pretty relaxed attitude about food so they then add a few snacks. What that consists of is in their control.

no point in wasting food and really no point in leaving a child hungry if it’s avoidable.

If thats what her mum does she has them 3 days a week- that’s anything but occasional, it’s frequent and regular.
op, I’d expect your dh to reply I’ve seen the lunches lunchwoes makes , they look healthy and delicious and dd is lucky to get them. We can put in an extra wrap/ main if she hungry but won’t be swapping to a Tesco meal deal.

I am never ever going to have sugary drinks in their lunchboxes. Sure they can buy their own when older, but they know I don’t think that stuff should ever be part of an everyday diet. It practically is anyway with weekend parties etc.

Calories doesn’t really matter for an active healthy weight child, what matters is they are not empty calories and upfs. Real food all the way! I spend so much time thinking about what to feed my children, you’re doing well!

Yes, I agree - it's a systemic issue. I think schools are part of the problem because they seem to be modelling the transition to more "grown up" eating as one of eating food on the go with your hands. And I think it's purely because of numbers. When you're pushing 2000 kids in a school there's no time or table-space to make civilised meal patterns part of the day. I was really shocked at how that's changed. I'm not ancient, and we had to sit at tables even to eat packed lunches.

You mock the apple slices but suggest hard boiled eggs! 😂 Apple slices are far less embarrassing than hand boiled eggs in your packed lunch for most teens. Anything with egg in it goes down like a lead balloon with the kids on my lunch duty (secondary teacher).

No wonder she is hungry, wraps are very light and fruit is not filling. She will need some healthy carbs and High protein foods to sustain her if she is doing netball.

Yeah… she likes the meal deal processed crap. That’s not to say she’s going to get it but sling a muffin or a cookie in there too along with one of those bagged protein yoghurts or some babybels. You’ll up both your and her status no end!!!! Teens don’t have time for hummus dipping stuff they need/want to scarf food quickly and go.

I think you sound like a lovely step-mum.

That’s because it is a weird thing to defend. There’s nothing embarrassing about her lunch? And don’t most kids come home from school hungry?