To think this packed lunch is fine?

[Lunchwoes]

So about a month ago DSD switched from hot lunches to packed lunch. She goes to school from our house Monday and Tuesday so I pack her lunch.

Today her Mum has text DH and said she's always starving when she gets in Mon and Tuesday so she needs bigger lunches. He said no problem we will make them a bit bigger or pack an extra snack for later as she has netball on a Tuesday after school.

Now this is the crazy bit, she said she just buys her Tesco meal deals as they fill her up and asked that we do the same!

For info she had a cheese and tomato omelette with a slice of toast for breakfast. Her packed lunch was a roast chicken and salad wrap, apple slices and peanut butter, a Greek yogurt and some celery sticks with hummus.

I will obviously very happily pack extra if she's hungry but a tesco meal deal?!

She isn't refusing though, is she? My comment was suggesting what the actual issue appears to be and how really it's just up to the girl's mother to feed her well after her sport. If her mother has an issue with the perfectly acceptable packed lunch that OP is providing, then she can take it up with the child's father. The girl isn't 'starving' on a Monday night after the packed lunch, the issue is the sport is making her hungry, which is perfectly normal!

But for the sake of peace, sure, OP can provide an extra piece of fruit, but she's under no obligation to buy tesco junk food as her mother has asked!

Pots and chopped things are a big “no” here at secondary school. Likewise yoghurts. By the end of the second year a lunch box was uncool and not used.

i remember DS1 telling a horrified paediatrician that no one eats lunch these days. He was surviving on break times samosas and hot chocolates.

Apparently there isn’t much time to actually sit with lunch. More likely to eat it on way to somewhere/hanging out. If he has tests or a busy day I sometimes make DS take a big sensible roll in a paper sandwich bag with a fairly boring filling, goes in his pocket and he eats it on the go.

He will also take a piece of fruit (rarely) or cereal bar/biscuit from home when he fancies it/wants to save his snack money. Prefers to buy food in school these days.

£10 a week spent on lunch account card as food is available at home to take.

Ooh tricky age 12. As others have said, it’s likely she’s wanting to fit in with friends. I wouldn’t give in on buying her a meal deal though. That’s ridiculous. Excellent idea to take her shopping with you and get her involved with the lunch making. She may feel better if she has some ownership.

I have a twelve year old girl and, being intrigued by the ‘uncool’ comments, I asked her opinion. She thinks meal deals are grim, and would prefer the homemade lunch, as would her friends. The only thing she mentioned was being able to eat things without cutlery as sometimes there isn’t anywhere to sit.

@Love51 if you put a quarter teaspoon of salt in water, soak the apples slices for a few mins then rinse them well they stay crisp and don't go brown.

Celery is grim, the rest sounds fine. I ate nothing all day when I was in comp so probably not the best to advise on what is suitable!

She doesn’t have time to eat all the little individual things - too busy chatting and socialising etc .. I go for calorie density and easy to eat standing up - two wraps (600 calories ish) , homemade flapjack ( probably 250 calories) and fruit or crisps for the child that can’t be bothered with fruit

Homemade is better, but your lunch sounds light on calories to be fair

God just seen she's 12 not 5

Yes to more calories

There used to be a calorie guide for kids on the NHS website - can’t find it at the moment but I know tweens and teens generally need significant more calories than adults .. will share if I can find it

I think you DSD is old enough to decide what foods she likes, I think you should respect her enough to give her the meal deal if that’s what she likes as I’m sure you eat what you like, processed or not it’s her choice at 12, you can given advice and say yours is a healthier option but ultimately it’s upto her

Sorry I disagree with that completely!

When she is older and buying her own food then maybe you have a point but she is 12.

Where does it end? Takeaway every night because I should respect the fact she doesn't want to eat home cooked food? Coca cola all-day because I should respect that is tastier to her than water?

She can come shopping with me and give ideas of what she likes but there has to be a line!

Oh come on your packed lunch is not for secondary school. A sliced apple. She’s 12 not two ! Celery sticks 🤦🏻‍♀️. Ya need to get down with the kids.

My choice of lunch at secondary school was a roll. a can of Mountain Dew and a twirl….

My 12 year old has just eaten a veggie pasta bake (home made) and then had seconds, eating far more than me. She’s very skinny but growing and ravenous right now. There’s no way that lunch would be enough for her. Teens need carbs.

Mine have:
chicken and salad wrap or pitta / pasta bake or risotto in a thermos food container
cheese
yoghurt
some kind of cake slice (sometimes homemade sometimes not) or mini chocolate biscuit
fruit
packet of crisps (not with pasta/risotto as that has more calories/is more filling so I leave out crisps on those days)

They do lots of exercise in activities after school and burn it all off. All my dc are healthy on the bmi scale and only just out of the underweight end.

Whilst it's obviously the more nutritious lunch there are several problems for a 12 Yr old girl

Firstly a salad wrap will be soggy and gross by lunch time. The hummus and yoghurt will be warm as no fridge, hummus also goes crusty and the apple possibly brown. Its all just a bit gross by lunch time

Secondly if she's used to school dinners she's used to chosing what she wants each day. Now the choice has been removed from her

Thirdly it's a bit embarrassing for a 12 yo. As the child who always had the healthy homemade lunch at school I'd look at my friends cheesestrings and ham sandwiches with envy.

Finally it's going to take a while to eat, her friends might not be sitting and eating lunch

I think you need to talk to her and find out what the problem is with your lunches. I don't think a meal deal everyday is an option but I'd probably switch to some crisps or a biscuit bar and do away with the warm hummus and yoghurt. Perhaps give her some more control?

😂 I used to have sausage roll and a chocolate doughnut every single day at my posh grammar school. I wasn’t fat either. Not sure I touched fruit for years but my dinner was always homemade and healthy.

When my step daughter moved in with us aged 12, it was a nightmare as where she had lived previously they were used to going to the chippy for lunch, and this school there was no going out at lunch - school dinners or packed lunch and that child thought all meals included chips

Oh the battles, until one night we went to a harvester for tea ( is there still Harvesters? ) , and she fell in love with the salad cart. That was it, We spent Sunday evening gathering up the bits she liked, washing and chopping, and from then on she made her own pack up and there was no half eaten lunches coming back

Talk to her, something I never did cos I knew all about nutrition and what was good for everyone ( yeah right ) Food is a battle you don't need

Are the wraps home made? If not, what's the difference between that and a wrap or sandwich bought as part of the Tesco meal dea?

well that’s up for her parents to decide not you

This is not the hill to die on.
She's obviously active and hungry.
Just give her more calorie dense food and be grateful that she's not anorexic.

Unnecessarily spiteful comment to somebody just trying to do their best by a child and taking onboard the reasonable advice. However her Dad is against a meal deal everyday and what her Mum does is of course up to her.

I don’t think you are taking on board the advice given, multiple posters advice is she’s a growing girl, your lunch is embarrassing, not suitable for a 12 year old etc. Even the child’s mum has obviously gently tried to hint what she prefers but instead of listening or taking the hint you have created a post on an internet forum. If she wasn’t packed lunch and having school meals I’m sure she would be eating all sorts of crap, like most teens.

She just prefers the tesco meal deal. A teaco meal deal is less food than what you packed.
I buy my son the meal deal if he has football camp in the holidays as he thinks its cool. Hes playing sports all day so I don't really mind it as a treat. But it literally is a sandwich snack and drink.
Just add more filling in your wrap maybe or two wraps? An extra piece of fruit too?
Why seitch to pack lunches then buy a tesco meal deal, the school will have equivelant food if she wants that kind of lunch.

I've literally said that I'm going to change what she gets, take her shopping with me, make pasta as thats what she gets in the meal deal, add crisps, add snacks.

I disagreed with your post that I should respect her choice to have a meal deal everyday as quite frankly that's ridiculous.

Oh, I had the sausage roll every break and then for lunch a hot dog and a giant cookie, every single day for 5 years and was skinny as a rake. (Not now 😂)