My mum is withholding my inheritance from my grandfather because of ideological reasons

[Camde]

None of this is confirmed, but I have strong suspicions.

my grandfather sadly passed away last year. He owned a very successful business, and was very generous with all his grand kids.

since he died, I have heard my mother (his daughter) and uncle having conversations about dealing with the inheritance from him. For context, I know that my uncle received enough to pay off all the mortgage on his new £1.2m house, so I know my mum likely received a similar amount.

My grandfather also told me before he passed a few times that I’d be receiving a good inheritance and shouldn’t waste it.

the issue is, my mother is very ideologically opposed to the idea of she or her kids inheriting money. She is very left wing, and believes that it is immoral for some people to receive inheritances when others don’t receive anything. Therefore, she has refused her portion of the inheritance.

it also means that I have no idea how much I have inherited. She is the executor of the will, and I have not seen it. I only ask as I’m saving up to buy a house, and it would be great to know whether I’m likely to receive any money to help with a deposit.

Every time I’ve asked her about my inheritance, she gets very angry and accuses me of not loving my grandfather and only caring about his money, which isn’t true.

how do I deal with this? I don’t want to fall out with my mum over this, and she is still very much grieving.

I was in the same situation a long time ago. My mother was also left-leaning, even to the extent that she refused to let me go to grammar school when I passed the 11+ and sent me to the local secondary modern (though she'd been to private school herself).
My last grandparent died leaving a large estate. They had mentioned that there was an account (with a specific amount mentioned) earmarked for me and the other grandchild (only 2).
When my grandparent died, my mother and her sibling pocketed the lot, and bought themselves a further 3 houses between them. I had to get the will through the government probate service. It turns out the estate was worth, in current day terms, about 900,000. The will which was executed was made in the 1970s when the other grandchild and I had just been born. Only my mother and her sibling were beneficiaries. However the will referred to a bunch of assets that no longer existed because my grandparent had deliberately sold most of them, including a house, in the couple of years before their death. They'd have had to see a lawyer to do so. It's highly unlikely that they wouldn't have updated a will made over 20 years earlier given that they were deliberately "clearing out" and this had rendered the old will obsolete.
Because I received nothing from my grandparents estate, it took me a further 7 years of renting, scrimping and saving before I finally had the deposit to be able to buy a first property. My mother and her sibling sat and watched me and DP struggle, while sitting on 8 properties between them.
It's funny how people's left-leaning principles evaporate when there's a trough to get their snout in.

This would only be true if all assets are jointly owned. Where an asset was owned solely by the deceased (e.g. a car) Probate or LoA would be needed. In reality, Probate or LoA are required for the majority of estates.

Unfortunately, if your GF set up a Discretionary Trust (probably to reduce IHT liability on his estate) then I think you need to plan your property purchase on the basis that you won't be seeing any money anytime soon as the beneficiaries of a DT don't have an automatic entitlement to the trust income or capital - it's entirely up to the Trustees when and how much they disburse. Sorry OP.

I'd suggest you find your own solicitor who is experienced in wills and trusts.
Show them what you have found and take advice.

There’s no suggestion the OP’s mother has done anything wrong yet. All she’s done is withheld the details of the trust, probably because she knows the OP will ask for a sum from it.

Your mum sounds awful 😔

Well then she should have spoken with you about it. She is being very controlling IMO.

Which is pretty controlling.

Get some legal advice. It might be possible for the beneficiaries of a trust to have trustees replaced under the Trust of Land and Appointment of Trustees Act if your mother won’t engage.

I agree it’s manipulative and her mum doesn’t sound very nice. But people telling the OP to get legal advice and all that - what for? Seems to me to be a personal matter rather than a legal one.

I agree. We don't know how old OP and her cousins are. Maybe the Trustees (OP's mother and uncle) are waiting until all beneficiaries have reached a certain age (say, 25) before disbursing any money.

I thought you said your grandfather passed away last year? If probate was granted in 2023 then he would have died quite some time before that as probate on an estate liable for inheritance tax takes 6 months+ to be granted

We have someone with strong principals on inheritance in our family, and to be honest its a bit of a nightmare to work round in terms of financial planning.

I think that if your grandad was an intelligent, strong man there is a really good chance that the discretionary trust has been set up in order to protect your inheritance from your mum, and to create a situation where she is legally obliged to safeguard it for you instead of either giving it away or putting pressure on you to give it away. Remember that your grandad wouldn't have known how old you would be when he died.

The reason that I think this is because your uncle is also named as a trustee (he presumably has more standard views on inheritance); all grandchildren have to benefit equally (presumably your mum isn't parent to all of them so other people in her generation will be involved). These are quite unusual discretionary trust terms and it looks like your grandad has deliberately limited your mum's control with them.

My suggestion is that your next step should be to make sure that you have complete understanding of the terms of the discretionary trust. Is there a process by which grandchildren request money? Is there a process by which trustees decide Is there a date/age on which the remainder is handed out if it hasn't been used? What happens if a trustee passes away? What happens if the trustees disagree? etc. You may need an appointment with the solicitor who drew up the will to do this, but this will be confidential.

I'd also have a think about the ages of the other grandchildren. Are they all old enough that it would be reasonable for some or all of the money to be distributed soon? Or are some still young enough that its beneficial for this to be looked after for them? Are all of the others at the buying houses / paying for university costs age? Are the other grandchildren all your uncles kids or is there another family in the mix?

Some trusts have an age-clause.
You might not inherit till you're 18, 21, 25, 30.

Is this detailed anywhere in it?

People leaving money in a trust fund often want to avoid it being spent on trivial things by immature beneficiaries.

Basically, as the other poster says, you need to take a copy of the will to a solicitor of your own. It shouldn't cost a fortune and you can this without your mum knowing.

We passed some inheritance onto our children, from a grandparents, by a deed of variation. We made it clear that the money was only to be spent on education or house deposits, not a Ferrari or swanky holidays.

It’s good you don’t want to fall out with your mum but her behaviour is outrageous. She’s entitled to her beliefs but not to force them on you. I would see a solicitor to understand the will and trust fully, but give your mum a bit of time to grieve her dad a bit before you act on anything. I’m sure you’re giving your mum lots of love and support right now, which is as it should be, but it would be very wrong of her to stand in the way of an inheritance that you are entitled to and want to receive

No solicitor should be offended by you viewing the will online- she should have told you already that you are a named beneficiary.

Are you close to your cousins? If so, a way around it could be for one of them to approach the trustees and ask for their share in which case it sounds like you will all get some

But I think you should seek your own legal advice as it sounds like your mum can't act as a trustee if she is simultaneously opposed to inheritance and unwilling to distribute the funds

Yeah good luck with a discretionary will.

You're not legally entitled to anything outright unless the person in charge of that fund allows it. They can ignore any and all of the dead person's wishes.

My grandfather had a discretionary will and my uncle decided that under his discretion he was keeping it all.

Your mother sounds unhinged.
Controlling and abusive.

You should consider reporting her actions to her professional governing body.

It sounds like she intends on preventing any of your cousins inheriting, not just you.

So dishonourable not to honour your grandfather's wishes.

No they don't.

Sorry but I think it’s very unlikely you are mentioned in the Will

he most likely thought youd get it via your mum

i was executor recently and everyone mentioned was contacted within weeks and was paid as soon as house was sold and bills paid
can’t remember the exact time frame but was much less than a year

as executor I was not gatekeeper of the money the solicitor shared it out not me I only arranged funeral and charged expenses to the estate

you have a big mum problem , the fact you can’t even talk about this is huge , sorry

OP’s mother has done something wrong already - she is withholding details of a trust under which OP is beneficiary. As a trustee, she is obliged to act in the benefliciaries’ best interests. It really doesn’t sound like she’s doing that. I would be worried about where the money has gone. @Camde - sorry you’re having to deal with this. Your mother sounds like a piece of work and not to be trusted. It’s interesting that the relationship with the uncle is bad, also - your mother may be the common factor here.

Are you sure this is allowed? When a member of my family made changes to their will I was not allowed to be there with them.

Your Mum is the unreasonable one here. She is not allowed to withhold the money. Ask for a copy of the will. If she don't let you see it consult the solicitor.

There should be a letter of wishes that outlines what he wanted from the discretionary trust. Has there been any mention of this?