My mum is withholding my inheritance from my grandfather because of ideological reasons

[Camde]

None of this is confirmed, but I have strong suspicions.

my grandfather sadly passed away last year. He owned a very successful business, and was very generous with all his grand kids.

since he died, I have heard my mother (his daughter) and uncle having conversations about dealing with the inheritance from him. For context, I know that my uncle received enough to pay off all the mortgage on his new £1.2m house, so I know my mum likely received a similar amount.

My grandfather also told me before he passed a few times that I’d be receiving a good inheritance and shouldn’t waste it.

the issue is, my mother is very ideologically opposed to the idea of she or her kids inheriting money. She is very left wing, and believes that it is immoral for some people to receive inheritances when others don’t receive anything. Therefore, she has refused her portion of the inheritance.

it also means that I have no idea how much I have inherited. She is the executor of the will, and I have not seen it. I only ask as I’m saving up to buy a house, and it would be great to know whether I’m likely to receive any money to help with a deposit.

Every time I’ve asked her about my inheritance, she gets very angry and accuses me of not loving my grandfather and only caring about his money, which isn’t true.

how do I deal with this? I don’t want to fall out with my mum over this, and she is still very much grieving.

So your mum is 'ideologically opposed' and is a corporate lawyer??!!

What a very left wing profession... 🤣

Is your mum normally this abusive and controlling of you?

Can’t help but just wanted to say I’m sorry to hear that your life could be made easier and your mum isn’t up for helping. I received a very generous inheritance from a grandparent (including half of my late brother’s as he pre/-deceased them), and it had made a massive difference to my life. My marriage broke down shortly after and I became a single parent to a 2YO. I probably wouldn’t have had that ‘option’ financially otherwise. It has been truly life changing. I can see the benefits of a trust, but struggle to understand a parent not wanting to help their children, especially if it’s something like a house.

This

No OP, she won’t be ‘offended’. She’ll be angry that you had the good sense to see past her controlling bullshit and find out what you’re entitled to as a beneficiary of the will. If all the grandchildren are beneficiaries of the trust then as a trustee she has an obligation to act in their best interests. I would be open with her and tell her straight that her left wing principles on inheritance have no bearing on her duties as a trustee, and that now you have a copy of the will you will be getting legal advice to secure what’s rightfully yours. I’d also be reminding her that if she doesn’t wish to take her own share of the inheritance then all of the beneficiaries have to agree as to how her share will be divided up between them, and a deed of variance completed.

OP has already clarified that there is a trust set up for all of the grandchildren and that her mother is a trustee.

YANBU. We’re going through an almost identical situation at the moment with FIL (won’t hijack your thread with the details). Can’t you ask your uncle for a copy of the will? Might be a good starting point.

Are your other cousins generally reliable? It the clause says an equal amount must be given to all, is there a reason why they might not want to give one of your cousins the money? Ie they have an unstable domestic relationship that could lay their partner open to half the inheritance or perhaps just unstable and liable to making inappropriate spending decisions?

How many grandchildren are there? Can you get in touch with them to find out if they have received anything? And if they have not, you could band together to challenge her.

@Camde what was the point of wasting time and writing a will like this??? that was terrible legal advice your grandad was given¬¬

An extreme left wing corporate lawyer. There’s an oxymoron if ever I heard one!

@Camde someone who answers reasonable questions with fury is abusive. I suspect you are not going to revisit this thread as you don’t want to or are afraid to tackle your mum on this issue. I would look closely at your relationship overall with her and decide whether or not it’s healthy.

And check with your cousins. If one of those requests the money and gets it then you should get yours. Likewise you can apply for your share. I’m sorry you’re so scared of your mum’s reaction.

Have yoh seen a copy of the trust deed?
trustees have a duty to act impartially and in this case to carry out your grandfathers wishes. If ideology/political beliefs get in the way then they can be legally challenged (which I realise is hard given your mother is a lawyer).
im sorry she's so controlling.

When my grandfather died my Dad inherited half his money. They didn't give my sister or me anything. I didn't think it was that unusual. We did get his dining table and some books as no one else wanted it.
He may have thought your Mum would give you some but if he had really wanted you to inherit he would have given clear instructions.

Can you speak to a cousin and see what they know?

How old are you?
Is your mum this controlling in other aspects of your life?
It sounds like if she does not want the money then your uncle will probably have it all. Especially if they have worded it so it's up to them two if grandkids get any.

You may need to accept that going after the money you are entitled to will damage your relationship with your mother. She is the one being unreasonable. Which is more important to you?

Don’t tell her anything - get an estate lawyer, someone very good and they will check probate and the will etc or do property checks.

if it’s gone to probate which it will have done as you uncle has inherited a great deal then it’s a public document and anyone can see it, if you know the solicitor name contact them and tell them they would executor is not keeping people informed

im currently an executor and contact the beneficiaries about three time a week about various things I’d sooner they be happy and informed it’s part of the undertaking

How old are you OP?

Why is she ok with her brother taking I inheritance but not her daughter? Why in one case it is about love and not in other?

To me your mother sounds very patriarchal and seems to be ok with men benefiting from inheritance not women.

I hope you have some anger towards ypur mother for not getting your share which can improve, make your life comfortable by having a stress free own home.

I think mother has already damaged the relationship, so OP does not have to worry about it.

Don't be afraid of falling out when she is making this difficult for you. You are allowed to have a disagreement!

If the money is in a trust then it is protected as it can only go to the beneficiaries of the trust. So you’ll get it one day, but you can’t control when.

https://www.gnlaw.co.uk/news/what-an-executor-can-and-cannot-do/
Executes are bound by law to follow set rules - if your mum isn't following these she needs reporting and potentially removing as an executor. A quick Google will advise who to report to. As a solicitor am sure her actions could affect her being allowed to practice - no doubt someone more in the know could advise....
Mystery as to why she took on this duty if she disagrees with inheritance.

Has your mum always been this controlling?

But surely you can be equally offended if your DM has chosen to deny you of your inheritance? Put your big girl pants on, download the will / probate and speak to her. Ask her to explain her actions.