My mum is withholding my inheritance from my grandfather because of ideological reasons

[Camde]

None of this is confirmed, but I have strong suspicions.

my grandfather sadly passed away last year. He owned a very successful business, and was very generous with all his grand kids.

since he died, I have heard my mother (his daughter) and uncle having conversations about dealing with the inheritance from him. For context, I know that my uncle received enough to pay off all the mortgage on his new £1.2m house, so I know my mum likely received a similar amount.

My grandfather also told me before he passed a few times that I’d be receiving a good inheritance and shouldn’t waste it.

the issue is, my mother is very ideologically opposed to the idea of she or her kids inheriting money. She is very left wing, and believes that it is immoral for some people to receive inheritances when others don’t receive anything. Therefore, she has refused her portion of the inheritance.

it also means that I have no idea how much I have inherited. She is the executor of the will, and I have not seen it. I only ask as I’m saving up to buy a house, and it would be great to know whether I’m likely to receive any money to help with a deposit.

Every time I’ve asked her about my inheritance, she gets very angry and accuses me of not loving my grandfather and only caring about his money, which isn’t true.

how do I deal with this? I don’t want to fall out with my mum over this, and she is still very much grieving.

It's been almost 2 years @bigcushionlover. If she's still grieving too much to be able to perform her role as executor she should appoint someone else.

my grandfather sadly passed away last year is not two years.

Check the OP's updates: "I misremembered his death as being last year, but when I checked the probate i realised it was actually summer 2023 that he died. The probate was completed in 2024."

posted on wrong thread

I'm left wing, and consider this totally crackers. It's YOUR inheritance, no matter what her beliefs are.

You can buy a copy of the will online

His brother my uncle

Wouldn’t surprise me.

Uncle, and his mother never recognised me as family.
However looking back it was quite funny as a kid her denying that I was family given we both had the same very distinctive hair colour (even down to the same shade)

Definitely didn’t get my hair from my mother’s side of the family. Even my eye colour was her eye colour and not like anyone else’s (not even my father)

Problem is Uncle is extremely wealthy and nasty with it. It’s something that would end up costing me a fortune just to get to court and to him it would be pocket change

You don't have to let on about having seen the will, but why not just ask your mum directly?

"Mum, grandad said before he died that he was leaving me money in his will. I would like to buy a house, so please can you let me know how much was left and when I'll be receiving this?".

See how she responds as to where you then go with this.

Well then, you’re right - she has no excuse, sue the bitch! Who cares if she’s your mother. Money is yours right? Bring her to court !

Sorry I can't help with this issue but I wondered if anyone can help me with something similar. My ex-husband died in 2020 and probate occurred in 2023. My children did inherit some money. I would like to see the will because I believe There was a lot more money involved. My children have a copy of the will but I wouldn't ask them for that. I looked online but it's just not there. Does anyone know why that would be the case?

Ask your children. Who else vould have inherited? If he was remarried then usually the bulk would go to the wife.

Was your father named on your birth certificate?

Was your father named on your birth certificate?

There are many reasons why a Will might not put specifics in black and white but leave to an understanding of discretion with Trustees. Tax, family dynamics, recipients' vulnerability, even recipients' financial status (future known inheritance has been used in divorce settlement claims)

There may be a letter to the Trustees giving guidance; it might have been a verbal preference; or the benefactor might have said 'I trust you to do what you feel is best when the time comes'

Whatever the reason, it's pretty shitty for OP's mother to wear a personal opinion hat when acting in a legal capacity.

OP mentions the relationship with the uncle being poor and him probably not engaging. When you're a Trustee, you're acting legally, not personally: it's his fiduciary duty to act in beneficiary best interests and should speak to you without judgement, whatever his personal feelings

Sadly, "Where there's a Will, there's a family argument" is rarely untrue.

I'd be in the "go see an independent solicitor" camp, get proper personal legal advice based on sight of the Will, and assess options.

Good luck OP. x

If Probate was granted it has to be avalible on line

Sorry but your mum is a prick.

She's hiding this information from you because she wants control of your money for as long as possible.

There is zero chance someone like this has handed away their inheritance. She, and the brother are deciding where the trust money is going, and it's not on you or the other grandkids.

How convenient that you're greedy and money grabbing if you want to challenge where the fuck your own money is.

You also seem quite afraid of her. Time to change that. Go and speak to your cousins.

Just because there’s a will doesn’t mean there was probate, if the ex was remarried / had a partner and jointly owned property and bank accounts then probate would not be needed. It’s not needed for pensions or life insurance written in trust because both are outside a person’s estate.

Good advice.
I would also add that you speak to a solicitor. You may find that some will give say, an hours consultation, at a lower rate. Or try Citizen's Advice, they are really good.

No. It was the 60s and they weren’t married prior to me being born and it was my mother who registered my birth alone. Although they married a few weeks later (my father was living with my mother and her side of the extended family at the time) She said she didn’t know if they would end up marrying and she didn’t want to complicate things and give him cause to take me away and not bring me back or have him interfere with our lives if he wasn’t going to stick around (which he didn’t long term).
I also suspect it was partly fear of me ending up in the clutches of her Mil who refused to believe I was her gc.

So legally you aren't his daughter unless he claimed pr for you, hence your uncle geing able to take the money
Morally it's not right though, whether or not you were biologically his child, he thought of you as such

You could of course be named in the will in which case its irrelevant

This thread has moved on a lot …. In all cases the best advice will be from a Wills and/or trust solicitor. There are several different types of trust, but in all the trustee has a duty of care and to act in best interests of the named beneficiaries. Failure to do so could be negligence and they can be challenged and removed. I only know this from experience of being a trustee and a beneficiary and meeting with a trust solicitor. Wills in U.K. are available online after probate, I have used the facility and for a few pounds you get a copy. Trusts have to be registered with HMRC under new rules that came in a few years ago with only a few exceptions but are not accessible. A beneficiary must be able to see a trust they are named on. Any Will can be changed after death up to two years by deed of variation BUT all beneficiaries must agree to the changes. An executor is legally obliged to deal with the Will (including via a solicitor) as written. They have no discretion. Lying is a criminal offence, whether that be saying they have distributed assets that they haven’t or hiding assets from probate to save on IHT for example. There is a woman currently in jail for lying about the assets to avoid tax.

in law if asssets left in a Will cannot be or are not distributed, E.g. a share of land held onto. A Bare Trust automatically forms - it is implied and relates directly to the Will. Whilst a trust deed isn’t needed in law, some will find it easier to have one drawn up and trustees appointed with clear legal guidelines as to their roles. This is not a tax vehicle. Nothing changed regards beneficiaries tax situation. A discretionary trust is different, it gives powers to the trustees to decide how and when to give to beneficiaries, this is usually written out in a letter of wishes by the person who owns the assets. Reasons for a trustee not paying out immediately could include the beneficiary being a minor, a beneficiary being in prison, a beneficiary being incapacitated due to a disability or mental health issue …. It isn’t meant as a way for trustees to change who received the assets, but a way to help manage for them for those who cannot do so easily or legally themselves.

Assuming you are over 18 and his will was filed for his inheritances to be issued and his ‘will’ to be honoured, there is no way in law that your mum can withhold your monies. Go to your local register office and ask for a copy of your grandfathers death certificate, and then contact the local county court office and ask for a copy of his will, you will need proof of who you are, once you have hard copies you can approach your mum. I would tread lightly at first, she has lost a parent.

You can ask her why/ when you will receive yours, explaining Her ideologies have no legal standing:
you are in a position to take things further if your grandfather left monies directly to you with no codicils or conditions that she as executor should exact.

If she has withheld monies she could be in contempt of the law.
I have suggested you get hard copies not onlne copies as I was in a similar position with my sister as executor who tried take take the whole inheritance not her 50%.

good luck money and family is not a good mix!

I want know this. My father would have had a very small will, just a few thousand pounds. He died five years ago and I have not seen his wife (definitely NOT going to call her my SM!) since the funeral as she was an awful woman. However, doing a search on the Gov website yields absolutely nothing. I have never been contacted about a will by anybody and I absolutely will not give his wife the satisfaction of me asking. I just don't know what probate means or if I am owed anything at all.