My mum is withholding my inheritance from my grandfather because of ideological reasons

[Camde]

None of this is confirmed, but I have strong suspicions.

my grandfather sadly passed away last year. He owned a very successful business, and was very generous with all his grand kids.

since he died, I have heard my mother (his daughter) and uncle having conversations about dealing with the inheritance from him. For context, I know that my uncle received enough to pay off all the mortgage on his new £1.2m house, so I know my mum likely received a similar amount.

My grandfather also told me before he passed a few times that I’d be receiving a good inheritance and shouldn’t waste it.

the issue is, my mother is very ideologically opposed to the idea of she or her kids inheriting money. She is very left wing, and believes that it is immoral for some people to receive inheritances when others don’t receive anything. Therefore, she has refused her portion of the inheritance.

it also means that I have no idea how much I have inherited. She is the executor of the will, and I have not seen it. I only ask as I’m saving up to buy a house, and it would be great to know whether I’m likely to receive any money to help with a deposit.

Every time I’ve asked her about my inheritance, she gets very angry and accuses me of not loving my grandfather and only caring about his money, which isn’t true.

how do I deal with this? I don’t want to fall out with my mum over this, and she is still very much grieving.

It depends where and how his money was held. Some banks will release up to £50k without probate, others have a limit of £5k. If there's no will it goes through a separate intestacy process instead of probate.

Not all Wills need to go through probate. Especially if the estate is small and uncomplicated.

Sorry you're in that awful situation. Hope you can find a way of learning your Dad's wishes, even if it means speaking to his surviving wife under the guise of wishing to take ownership of a particular heirloom.

Verbally he told me I should get £20k but I also think they had a mirror will. That will mean I will see absolutely nothing as we did not like each other at all. But I would just like to see the will as she will have gaslighted him into seeing her get whatever he had. She is already a wealthy women from parents inheritance and I am an only child, it seems so unfair!

That is very unfair, and from what you say about their Wills, it's quite possibly the case that you'll not see any of Dad's estate 🥺

It just highlights how important it is to discuss death and involving family in planning for it: it's the one certainty we all face.

I'm sure you could use the £20k, but in its absence try to focus on the happiness you shared with Dad.