My mum is withholding my inheritance from my grandfather because of ideological reasons

[Camde]

None of this is confirmed, but I have strong suspicions.

my grandfather sadly passed away last year. He owned a very successful business, and was very generous with all his grand kids.

since he died, I have heard my mother (his daughter) and uncle having conversations about dealing with the inheritance from him. For context, I know that my uncle received enough to pay off all the mortgage on his new £1.2m house, so I know my mum likely received a similar amount.

My grandfather also told me before he passed a few times that I’d be receiving a good inheritance and shouldn’t waste it.

the issue is, my mother is very ideologically opposed to the idea of she or her kids inheriting money. She is very left wing, and believes that it is immoral for some people to receive inheritances when others don’t receive anything. Therefore, she has refused her portion of the inheritance.

it also means that I have no idea how much I have inherited. She is the executor of the will, and I have not seen it. I only ask as I’m saving up to buy a house, and it would be great to know whether I’m likely to receive any money to help with a deposit.

Every time I’ve asked her about my inheritance, she gets very angry and accuses me of not loving my grandfather and only caring about his money, which isn’t true.

how do I deal with this? I don’t want to fall out with my mum over this, and she is still very much grieving.

I’m making the point that even if everting is left to a spouse, anything in the deceased person’s name only would mean probate would have to be applied for. For tax reasons it’s not unusual for husband and wife to have assets in their sole name .

If you are confused OP, I would pay to see a Wills & Probate solicitor on your own. It might cost you a few hundred, maybe more, but worth it if you get true and final clarity.

ps you’re mother sounds like she’s being a selfish arse. If she doesn’t want an inheritance that’s up to her (wonder if that’s true for her though in reality!!), but she doesn’t get to make the decision for other adults.

I get that you don’t want to cause a rift, but if you were named in the will, you have a legal right to your inheritance, regardless of her personal beliefs. And you deserve clarity, and it’s completely reasonable to want to know where things stand, especially if you’re making big financial plans.

@Camde i think you said the grandkids are beneficiaries of the trust and none can inherit without the others inheriting? How has the money been distributed in that case? I would go and see a wills & probate lawyer (although in that case it doesn’t look very discretionary!) if substantial money is involved.

Wills are public after the death of a person I believe

I believe that you can get a copy of the will

Look on www.gov.uk

Sorry for your loss

If she is named in the will then it was the solicitor's responsibility to approach all the legatees to arrange payment of any money due to them. Will once probated are public documents and are available on line.

I think in that case the solicitor dealing with his estate should have set up the discretionary trust on your behalf. It sounds to me as though your mother may have used her position to interfere with the disposal of the estate, I would be tempted to approach her professional body or at least tell her you intend to do so.

Married couple one dies the survivor probably irrespective of a will inherits the lot.

@Camde

Do please remember that it is said to take up to a year to get probate. Only when that has happened does the distribution have to take place by the executor. You can [at some stage] get a copy off the internet for £1.50

Your grandfather might have assumed your dm would distribute to her dc from her portion. This is what my parents would do if they ever decided to make a will. So if she gave it all to the local cat's home there will be none left for you!
My db died last year and for various reasons including the fact he had a very short time left it was decided he'd leave his estate to our parents and they would distribute it to me as they saw fit. His estate was worth about £450k and they have decided to give me half. I have asked for them to make a variation of the will as I don't want the local council asking for their money back if they go into care ( they are 82 and 83). They don't want to do that so I'm left with nothing. Oh well it's just money!

My mother did this. Grandparents wishes were for us (siblings and I) to have something but didn’t specifically name us in their Will. They assumed it would be shared with us. My mother kept it all.

This is one of those threads where it really helps to read the OP and then the updates.

As I recall you said that the will was signed by a solicitor, and that your Mum would have been present when it was signed.
As you have a copy of the will and you are mentioned in it.. could you contact the solictor and ask them for any details they may have about the Trust mentioned in the will?

Believe me when I say there is nothing worse than having Executors who do not get on, even worse when the relationship has to continue. I would recommend you seek independent legal advice from a private client solicitor (not the firm dealing with the estate who will be narrated in the probate). I have it in the back of my mind that under English law (but can't guarantee) that the trust can be broken with agreement where all beneficiaries are adults beneficiaries/have capacity and paid out. If so this needs to be done within 2 years of death. I'm also pretty certain that the trustees can be removed universally by the beneficiaries, particularly where there is an issue with them not working together and therefore the trust being at a stalemate. If your mum disagrees with inheritance she should never have accepted the role as Executor. Good luck!

Do you know, I find it simply extraordinary how some parents can behave in this way towards their kids. Whatever my ‘leanings’. I’d be absolutely delighted if my kids had received inheritances which enabled them to buy homes or get set up financially. Why would a parent deprive their child of this opportunity? It’s beyond me.

There is certainly a strong smell of burning pants.

Extremism, one of the cancers of society.

Try the probate registry. If probate has been granted there will be a record as they keep a register. As executor your mum has a "fiduciary duty", which is a legal obligation to ensure that any requests or legacies are properly paid out to the beneficiaries. The fact that your uncle has got his share strongly suggests probate is complete.

Once Probate has been granted the Will becomes a public document and anyone can request a copy. If your grandfather has named you as a beneficiary in his Will your mother has no right to withhold this from you. Obtain a copy of the Will and if you are a beneficiary see a solicitor.

Your mum has no right to fall out with you, you were entitled to look into this - especially because you were told nothing.
A corporate lawyer who doesn't believe in inheritance 🤔 I think she's hiding something. And anyway, she is entitled to her own beliefs - but you are entitled to yours... and to your money!
You should be able to ask her!

As executor she has to tell you what you have inherited when the probate goes through, but bear in mind your grandfather may not have directly left you anything, many people trust their children to be fair in the distribution of their estate- this happened with my own father when he mother died, she was very supportive of my wishing to go to university, but she left my Dad as executor and sole beneficiary. My Dad has a chip on his shoulder about his not having gone to university and doesn't believe in women being educated to degree level. What that meant was he was left a great deal of money when I was going to university, but did not give me a penny, from himself or his mother.
This made me angry and upset, but it is worth bearing in mind he is totally within his rights, and I got no help whatsoever when going to university or when buying a house.
The moral of this story is don't rely on the idea you will inherit-you may not.

Just to say I was left money in my Dad’s will - my brother who was the executor received the bulk of the estate (was aware that was going to happen) I was never contacted by any solicitors and have never seen the will. In fact if he hadn’t told me I’d been left some money I would never have known. I’d definitely get a copy of the will - if you have been left something it’s your right to receive it.

When people act in extraordinary ways, there are nearly always extraordinary motivations behind that. Either that or mental illness.

Without knowledge of what might be extremely complex back stories it can often be hard to figure out why people behave the way they do.

My understanding is that an executor has a legal responsibility to ensure the instructions in the will are adhered to and the estate is administered correctly. Therefore if you are a named beneficiary I can't see that she can withhold the funds. If an execuor fails to comply with their responsibilities and appears to be "dragging" their feet," I'm sure there's a route called citation (I think,) to remove the executor

Hi,

I am not quite sure how your mother could stop it if you are named in it. Except if that was through her.

Take legal advices and stop pestering your mom. If she refused it, then it should have been then “all” her part to next gen so you…again…if you were named.

Solicitors are obligated to contact you disregarding your mom’s belief.