My mum is withholding my inheritance from my grandfather because of ideological reasons

[Camde]

None of this is confirmed, but I have strong suspicions.

my grandfather sadly passed away last year. He owned a very successful business, and was very generous with all his grand kids.

since he died, I have heard my mother (his daughter) and uncle having conversations about dealing with the inheritance from him. For context, I know that my uncle received enough to pay off all the mortgage on his new £1.2m house, so I know my mum likely received a similar amount.

My grandfather also told me before he passed a few times that I’d be receiving a good inheritance and shouldn’t waste it.

the issue is, my mother is very ideologically opposed to the idea of she or her kids inheriting money. She is very left wing, and believes that it is immoral for some people to receive inheritances when others don’t receive anything. Therefore, she has refused her portion of the inheritance.

it also means that I have no idea how much I have inherited. She is the executor of the will, and I have not seen it. I only ask as I’m saving up to buy a house, and it would be great to know whether I’m likely to receive any money to help with a deposit.

Every time I’ve asked her about my inheritance, she gets very angry and accuses me of not loving my grandfather and only caring about his money, which isn’t true.

how do I deal with this? I don’t want to fall out with my mum over this, and she is still very much grieving.

This is what concerns me. Myself and my NC brother are executors for my mum. I have a horrible feeling that he will make a difficult, horrible time even more difficult and horrible 😞

Executors can change a Will in terms of what people inherit.
In the circumstances I would not do anything to inflame the situation with your Mum.
Why don't you just ask your Mum what the situation is, you are entitled to ask, I don't see anything wrong in doing so.
Wills are also in the public domain so you could obtain a copy but if you do so without letting your Mum know this is not going to help the situation.

Executors can change a Will in terms of what people inherit.

No they can't. The beneficiaries can.

Genuine question: If DM is the only trustee of the trust, and gets to decide what happens to the money, and refuses to let OP have it for ideological reasons, could OP theoretically sue DM on the basis that it is clearly unreasonable to withhold money kept in trust when she (OP) is 50, 55, 60 years old? Or does OP have to wait until DM dies (and hope that at that point the money passes to her anyway and doesn't just evaporate)?

That isn't how trusts work.

I seem to remember that Princess Diana left a substantial inheritance to her godchildren but they never received it as the executors blocked it??? So maybe she can stop you inheriting x

Executors cannot stop anyone inheriting. Beneficiaries can rearrange the terms of a will within 2 years.

You have said that your Mum is the executor and as such she is obliged to distribute the assets according to the will once probate is granted, which may take a while. If you are a beneficiary under the will I'm sure you will receive in due course.
As others say, you can get a copy of the will once probate is granted so you can reassure yourself all is well.

Can you explain? I am totally clueless about trusts. Which part have I (or the OP) got wrong?

The trustee has to comply with trustees' duties which include dealing with what the trust was set up for. The trustees' personal views are irrelevant.

Pffft. I mean lots of people are left wing but the world is entirely fucked so I certainly wouldn't be stopping money going to people who I know are good like erm my daughter!!!! Ffs sorry but your mother sounds like a pretentious twat!!! Why should you not have security and stability!!! Who knows what you will achieve in life if the basics are covered for you!!!! Feel free to tell her random woman off the Internet thinks it's ridiculous. 🙄🙄🙄🙄

This

If you have been left anything in a will it is deceptive as executor to withhold anything from anyone. You can apply to probate registry for a copy of the will, then you can see for yourself, after probate has been granted. If you find out from there your thoughts are right, you can then give your mother the option to right her wrong otherwise you can take legal action forcing her to comply. Your mother at the end of the day will have to give you what has been left to you, regardless of what she says, you have rights here, she does not. Good luck

I’d also be reminding her that if she doesn’t wish to take her own share of the inheritance then all of the beneficiaries have to agree as to how her share will be divided up between them, and a deed of variance completed.

No. If she doesn't take her share it falls into the residue to be distributed per the fallback residue provisions. No deed of variance needed and nothing to do with the other beneficiaries. If there was no residue provision it's dealt with as intestate estate.

Incorrect. Jointly held assets would, but the will can leave all solely owned assets to anybody. Marriage doesn't override this unless the marriage takes place after the will was made (and even then, not always - wills can be made specifically 'in anticipation of marriage' and therefore remain valid).

My nephew's stepfather was being an arse after my sister died. He'd told the solicitor that he didn't know where my nephew lived. (Found that out later) So I phoned round all the local solicitors until I found out which one had my sister's will. They sent my nephew a copy of the will and a letter asking him to get in touch. Wills are public records after someone dies and you (or anyone) can get a copy of it. But as executor if your mother is concealing information she's committing a crime.

A colleague of mine was left a small bequest.

He & his partner had visited the Solicitors who were the executors several times in connection with teh affairs of the deceased.

They asked when they were going to get the money & were tolld sorry but we dont have your address so could not pay it out.

Que 'I Dont Believe it' in full Victor Meldrew mode

A will has to go to probate first before money can be distributed/assets sold. And once probate has been granted I believe - you can check this - you can pay whichever Govt department deals with it to get a copy of the will.
Your inheritance, if there is one, is your legal entitlement and no executor can change that. A will can be altered by an executor to include others (we did it with my share of my father’s money to include our three sons) but any money has to come out of the executor’s share and not anyone else’s.
The first thing is to find out if probate has been granted (start Googling, get a lawyer if she won’t answer questions, but think on if you’re not mentioned in the will a lawyer will come at a cost). If you put this to her she might come clean.

If you are a named beneficiary she has no right to withhold anything from you. An executor is responsible for making sure the terms of the Will are carried out. They have absolutely no personal say about who gets what. What is written I the will (assuming it was properly signed and witnessed) is final. If you are a named beneficiary you must be notified. You might like to check with your uncle for an easy route but all wills are public so you are entitled to see a copy of it whatever. If your mum is the named beneficiary and not you (even if you assumed she would pass some of that inheritance on to you) you are im afraid, not actually entitled to receive anything. It is the decision of the named beneficiary what they want to do with the money. Some people will refuse it and do what’s called a ‘deed of variation’ to pass it to someone else. Maybe she is letting your uncle have everything. He may - if he is willing - offer you some of what was previously your mums share. He does not have to do this however. You can ask him to but he is entirely within his rights to refuse if your mum has chosen to give him her share and not you. There’s nothing you can do I’m afraid. Unless you have any suspicion the will was not valid - ie incorrectly signed, witnessed or was written under any duress for instance. That is a whole other matter however and you don’t seem to suspect that. Sorry Op.

I know you are worried about failing out but maybe you should? Your grandfather wanted you to have the money . Your mother is choosing not to give that to you.

If there’s no will there’s a legal formula for distribution. You can find it online.

Isn’t this now a trust law question?
a trust should have been set up with sone stated amount in per the will.
and trusts need to report and pay tax annually (though it may not be a year)
so I’d speak to a trust specialist to establish your options and whether you do in fact have to wait for her/uncle to die before the trust is able to pay out (if they both kept refusing all reasonable requests to pay out and just kept the money in a bank account for ever)
at some point the trust must pay out, it can’t be forever (but could be kings age plus 21 years or sone daft measure)

FGS please read the thread.

The mum is acting very selfish. Not sure I'd want her as a mother if that's how she's behaving.

I think you should tread lightly - your mum is likely still grieving, she may need more time and if you can you should give that to her - falling out over something like this will cause both of you a lot of long term heartache. I'm not suggesting you give up on your inheritance - just be careful of timing and your mother's grief.