Do you wipe your bottom standing up or sitting down?

[justtheonequestion1]

Well, I thought this was an entirely uncontroversial topic, but my DH has discovered (through a conversation) that I stand up to wipe my bottom after going to to the loo.

Do you, for whatever reason, do the same? Or are you a sitter and you lean either forwards or to the side?

I feel as though there are multiple reasons to stand, perhaps you have mobility issues, a larger body, or it is simply your preference (like me).

Please tell me that at least some of you do this and I am not entirely abnormal!!

Sitting. I find the concept of standing to wipe really odd. Do you all kind of squat to make sure everything is clean?

I think this thread has finally explained to me how some people manage to get such long, dedicated skid marks.

If I have to waddle for loo roll, it's a dark day. I cannot believe people actively choose to stand up with a mucky bum hole.

Well in my personal experience, as a stander, there is no squishing, smudging, squashing or skidmarks! I can't speak for anyone else, but when I leave the bathroom, my bumhole is clean!

You see, you are annoyed with the people who are taking the piss with their responses. But personally, with this response, I'm starting to think you are the one taking the piss. You hold onto the ledge of the toilet to wipe your arse, when you could just sit down and chill out??

He stands facing the loo with a foot up on the loo seat.

😳

What the actual fuck is wrong with people?!
I genuinely don't think I could look at my beloved the same way ever again if I accidentally walked in on that.

i only found out it was odd after watching ‘Am I being Unreasonable’ with Daisy May Cooper - in which her female stalker told her she knew she stood up to wipe and it was weird as everyone sits down! I was even going to start a thread to find out others thoughts - glad you did, thanks!

I really hope you're not flushing those wet wipes!

Have you got too much time on your hands op? I mean surely there are other issues in life to ponder!

Just seen this after I already referenced it a bit ago! 😄 I thought the opposite! I was in Nicola’s camp of saying everyone stands 🤷🏼‍♀️ the woman she was talking to HAD just told her she watches her on the toilet and is a psycho! I assumed hoped DM was actually a atander/standee and this was an in-joke 😆

How can you wipe standing up? Do you put one foot on the bath?

Oh it's happening, albeit microscopically. 😄

Upthread, two or three people mentioned using their right hand ... where I come from, that would be a no-no. That's what your left hand is for.

Your right hand is for shaking hands, reaching for food, etc. Using your left hand to reach for food would be the height of bad manners.

I was really hoping someone would ask that! I reach round (sitting, tilted so the loo seat gradually gets skewed 🙄 and front to back). A couple of friends once came to the loo with me and were horrified - they thought I must be wiping towards the front. I thought they were weird to think that.

I don't get how they wipe front to back while reaching between their legs - I imagine they must be kind of pushing the poo upwards? You can DAB like this, though, so I've taken to having a final between-the-legs dab in case any deeply-nestled, lurking smudges have escaped my wipe.

Writing about this on the interwebs is even more awkward than trying not to freak out when your friends come in to carry on chatting while you're on the loo!

I mostly came on here to say I’m also horrified by all the baby wipes being flushed. I am also a sitter, I don’t understand standing at all. But I use “Pristine Toilet Paper Spray” as seen on Shark Tank from Amazon. You spray the toilet paper, and flush it. It cleans great, smells good and it’s good for your bum!

All these special sprays and things to wet the paper with in place of wipes... you can just use a blob of sorbolene cream or aloe vera gel. Less likely to have stuff in them that will freak your skin out. Or water!

Quick trip to the local car wash does the trick. Those rotating brushes clean EVERYWHERE!

The poo trolls must be just loving this thread.

All this information about how to wipe your bum.....yuck. Enjoy OP.

But you've got enough time to read the OP and type this response, and that's OK? 🤔😂

I actually thought about it this morning! I just do. Maybe I have very long arms but it's just not an issue.

I tried reaching from front this morning, and I actually found it harder than reaching from the back,and couldn’t reach well enough to wipe front to back anyway.

all the wet wipes! Do you put them in the bin ? Flush ?
are they biodegradable ones or baby ones ?

Gillian the grifter?

If your diet was healthy and varied then your poo can and will vary.
No poo left to wipe can be a result of constipation, producing small compacted hard stools.
Gimme the shits any day.

GMcK was a quack.

We have these handheld bidet sprays/douches fitted on our toilets. So wash until think am clean, check with a toilet paper wipe, then pat dry with toilet paper. No need for the disposable/non disposable wipes.
Will add a link if MN will let me.
https://www.victorianplumbing.co.uk/modern-chrome-manual-douche-spray-kit?&pagetype=shopping&includeListing&s_kwcid=AL!15853!3!!!!x!!&gclsrc=aw.ds&gad_source=1&gbraid=0AAAAAD_SoLaWbHceodRgJhTt3-VN7pQdi&gclid=Cj0KCQjwna6_BhCbARIsALId2Z07KDS0HSVrFaRQX1vRa2dDePMXh3cvKNv3csVzEmj6gJfC1s_x24QaAvHYEALw_wcBThis kind of adaptation

I was once at an airport and having travelled some distance to the airport had a distinct case of bum butter.
i went into the airport toilet to wipe my bottom, standing up, and to my horror whilst I was furiously wiping myself the door swung open and I was on full view the the entire toilet communal area where about 20 people were washing and drying hands.
Great holiday memories.