Do you wipe your bottom standing up or sitting down?

[justtheonequestion1]

Well, I thought this was an entirely uncontroversial topic, but my DH has discovered (through a conversation) that I stand up to wipe my bottom after going to to the loo.

Do you, for whatever reason, do the same? Or are you a sitter and you lean either forwards or to the side?

I feel as though there are multiple reasons to stand, perhaps you have mobility issues, a larger body, or it is simply your preference (like me).

Please tell me that at least some of you do this and I am not entirely abnormal!!

Gillian McKeith was rumbled for portraying herself as a doctor when she wasn't.

I sit then stand. Paper sitting then one Waterwipe standing, and don't flush it of course (have a septic tank system which would block and DH would go ballistic!).

Another vote for 'Wype', after wiping just pump a little bit onto fresh loo roll 👌
Unfortunately any type of wet wipe blocks our drains.
To answer op's question I'm a sitter.

I think this thread has blown my mind more than any other on Mumsnet. I never even considered than people wouldn’t be sitting down to wipe. 🤯

How do you wipe your bottom, you say?

….wanders off to minties ….

Sort of not either or a bit of both depending on how you look at it. I like to use it as an opportunity to get my squats in and the habit stuck. So I make a “nest” of toilet paper in my right hand then sort of put it behind me like a seat then I squat up and down sort of kissing the nest as it were

‘Kissing the nest’ 😂

How? Only if you are wiping forwards

I’ve seen little dogs doing handstands in order to pee.

I use water, cleaner than wiping..we have a bidet attachment next to all the toilets in the house. It’s an Asian thing, all toilets have them back home..

I'll always remember her for her fake faint on I'm a celebrity 🤣

Truly astonished that some people stand and that several can’t get their heads around how a seated wipe is possible. Are your backs stiff? Arms short? My arse is literally in reaching distance without effort.

Same @CalmTheFuckDownMargaret - I'm sat at my desk and keep reaching back on my desk chair to check I'm not being insane.

I do hope you've kept your knickers on @sweetpickle2 .

This thread has been brilliant. I've literally belly laughed. DH is wfh & was wondering what had gotten in to me.

DH & I are both sitters but we've discovered DS (17) is a stander. I am SHOCKED! This is not the way I taught him. 😂

You're already sitting to shit, why would you then stand up and close your butt cheeks to wipe?

It’s grim if op is getting off on it

Yes this is how I do it, stand and turn, then wipe both with toilet paper and then wet wipes (which go in a special bin) until sparkling clean. I didn't even know some people sit until I spotted my DP sitting and wiping by leaning forward! How uncomfortable, I thought! I suppose it's whatever way you grew up with.

I sit down. I can't imagine how it can be cleaned properly whilst standing (although this will explain why some people smell so bad on public transport!)
Proper wipes prevent racing stripes.

Surely if you turn around you're just looking at the shit inside the bowl?

Why would you need to turn?

Haven’t read the whole thread, but based on first couple of pages… am I going to be the first person to admit to standing up because of the compulsion to have a little visual debrief first?

I’m always amazed when I hear someone stands - I imagine it makes it as awkward as humanly possible but you’re not the only one. Clearly. I must say, as I’ve got larger (and older so much less flexible) I have noticed it’s a bit harder so if you’re quite fat then you could have issues but I don’t imagine that’s made easier by standing at all.

I am a sitter (like any sane person) but DP is a stander. He thinks it's because as a toddler his parents wiped his bum standing up, so he just continued that way.

Missing the point of the thread entirely (I'm a sitter, standing is just plain odd).

Please DO NOT flush any wet wipes of any type even those that say fit to flush/fine to flush they really aren't. My job is sewer networks, 80% of all the issues within the sewer is sewer abuse - i.e., wipes down the toilet. Fat down the drain.

Never, ever flush a wet wipe of any description, please 🙏

To any standers on here - have you not had bits of poo fall off your bum and onto the floor / your pants with this technique?? Surely it's safest to wipe with your bum right over the toilet.

Your experiment is indeed correct and this is how they get their 'fine to flush' tick, but once in the sewer with everything else, it's game over. They behave like any other wipe. Time to stop flushing.