To think that not toilet training your child is borderline neglect?

[PithyNavyViewer]

If your kid is four and still in nappies, that’s not a “gentle parenting choice” - it’s just lazy.

I remember an old acquaintance of mine. Her sister was a teacher and she said kids would start school not being potty trained. I don’t understand people having kids if they cannot be arsed to parent them.

There was an article by a fairly worthless DM columnist why her school aged child was not potty trained (apparently it was the au pair’s fault.)

I have known NT children to still be in nappies at 4 for various reasons, but yes I would expect parents to have at least started trying to toilet train them by this point.

In 1995 they likely started school later or had fewer expectations of them at school generally in reception class. In DD1's half the year group who were younger started in January 2010 instead of September 2009.

Nowadays they start school at just four and have a phonics test at five. So much pressure from day one. You don't fatten a pig by weighing it.

This. I was able to work part time when DDs were small - even working 3 days a week it was tricky to get potty training in. I started having the potty around for DD1 just as a normal/fun thing, sitting her on it before she went in the bath from when she could walk. She still didn't get it until two and a half. DD2 was 3. It was quite a messy and difficult process and you need a few days in a row run at it, and I had support from grandparents and childminder also.

If I found it difficult as a well-educated professional who was able to work part time, I can imagine why others do and take longer about it. This is the sort of thing that Surestart centres were great for.

No surprises that since pre-school support was withdrawn for parents by the last government a higher percentage of children are struggling now in reception class. The help needs to come much sooner. And I wonder how many of these kids have been in nursery while both parents work full time? It's got to be pretty hard only having weekends and holiday time to do it.

Excluding special needs. Obviously some children with various additional needs will not be able to potty trained.
Excluding these cases though.
There is a lot of very lazy parenting going on and leaving it too late.
Advice is to do potty training between 18-30 months!
Yes you do need to put the work in , ie take a week off work and stay home to crack it. But so so worth it to be done early.
I have done it with my 3 children before 2.5 both boys and girls. I did it alone whilst DH was at work, no extra support from anyone , still did school runs ect. I used annual leave so was non negotiable that I would do it in that week.
I think in the old days when women had to wash out nappies in the back yard children were no doubt potty trained very young. Motivation is a wonderful thing.
Link on potty training below for those who need it!
eric.org.uk/potty-training/

When I look back at parenting babies/toddlers the two areas where I felt good advice was sorely lacking was weaning and potty training.

What has “gentle parenting” got to do with toilet training? Another ignorant poster who has no idea what that parenting style is.

Also wtf is with all these judgemental posters and comments lately.
If I read another comment about parents being lazy because they have a phone. I will fucking scream.
Can parents do anything anymore? Or does everything we do is wrong and lazy because it might be different?

Also just cause a child is in pull-ups at school
or at night doesn’t mean they aren’t toilet trained. Accidents happen. Maybe parents see just trying avoid the embarrassment.

This is such an ignorant shitty thread. DS was diagnosed as autistic at 10, I had no idea when he was 3/4. He was absolute hell to potty train - but obviously that would have been my fault and clearly just because I was a lazy parent right?

Yes, this is the kind of attitude that my primary colleagues were coming across in the days when I was still involved in primary liaison. (I worked in the state secondary sector.)

I've said above that the schools were being expected to take on tasks that should have been tackled by the parents - teaching children how to use cutlery and so on.

I mentioned in a pp that my primary colleagues were dealing with children who screamed when expected to sit at a table in the school dining hall. One of the worst cases that I'm aware of was when twins started at reception class and didn't even know their own names. They'd spent all their days being referred to as either "Hey you!" or "The twins."

That chimes with my experience of relatives who relied on their child's private school to teach her "beautiful manners". (Prior to attending school, the child was grabbing at food instead of attempting to use cutlery.)

They had a very good income; the father had had very early retirement and was a SAHD, so there was a parent at home who could have dealt with all that.

My kid has sen so can't do it. Its the responsibility of the school and council to train them

I think that article was written by Shona sibary who is known for her inflammatory articles
When i read it her late " toilet train " daughter hsd actuslly been trained for ages well before she started school, during the day ,but only just stopped wearing nappies at night a couple of weeks before starting schopl
Which is perfectly normal and doesnt interfere with with school routines at all

Pile on in 1....2.....3......

Schools should stop taking children that are not toilet trained. And all disposable nappies should be banned, leaving only the terry towling ones. I think we would find that miraculously, the amount of parents "not able" to toilet train their children would rapidly decrease.

You would deny education to a set of children who do not fit your ideal? Jaysus.

It would be better for the majority of children who go to school toilet trained and ready to learn. And there would be a lot fewer children not toilet trained if it was a requirement for them to be able to start school.

I don't think the poster is seriously suggesting either of those things but they make a good point. If parents had more motivation to potty train, then they would. You see a lot of threads on here of people giving up potty training after just 2 or 3 days because the child "didn't get it", as they have no real motivation to persevere and it's easier to throw in the towel.

You are denying education to a whole class full of children as two adults have to take a child out to change their nappy.

Definitely more support needed around continence, but when I mentioned parents hadn't sought support, I didn't mean with continence, I meant they hadn't sought support at all with any aspect of their child's development.

At my school we only have a handful of children in nappies. They ALL have severe learning difficulties , other SEN and most of them are nonverbal.They are ALL waiting for a space at a SEN school. One has been waiting for at least 4 years. It’s not the children’s fault, or their parents’ fault.

Other than that? There is not one single child in nappies that shouldn’t be, not even in Reception.So who exactly are you punishing and excluding here?

Where do you think they go, or at least start in?

Any source for that data?

Obviously there should br more specisl schooks
Im lucky in that my son has been in a special school since reception ,hes now in year 10 but provision is patchy across the uk .

Are you seriously suggesting that all of the children who start school in nappies end up in SEN schools?

You specifically said children with ASD who are non verbal. That’s what I was replying to.