To think that not toilet training your child is borderline neglect?

[PithyNavyViewer]

If your kid is four and still in nappies, that’s not a “gentle parenting choice” - it’s just lazy.

Unless there are SN it is neglect.

Not quite aa simple as that but i exepect you know that.....

A four year old in nappies who has no additional needs, yet has not been toilet trained would indeed be a neglected child, yes.

But lots of special needs/ disabillities are not diagnosed by four .

Depends really. I mean, my youngest was (just over) 4 before he cracked it and I didn’t have him in nappies when we were out. We had tried on and off for over a year before that.
Not great if they haven’t even attempted it though.

I agree. It’s unfortunately more and more common for parents to leave it later due to laziness

And what 4 year old are we talking about here?
Someone you know?
Something you read online?
Or just something that exists in your head?

There's going to be comments now about people saying their child is SEN

My 8 year old isn't in nappies, but still has very regular accidents.
We now know she has an underdeveloped introception, and is seeing an OT.
However when she was 4, and still used nappies/pull ups because she quite frankly hadn't got a clue and I was absolutely frantic and riddled with guilt, your comment would have sat with me for weeks. Like a lovely big brutal stick.

Have SEN not is SEN!

The circumstances have changed, OP.
One of my DC’s was perfectly fine in the day, but wet themself at night until mid 20’s (now diagnosed as autistic). The other was wetting themself in the day until 6, then perfectly dry thereafter.
Both DC’s were at the forefront of the introduction of pull-ups. While these are great, I honestly think they made it easier for both DC to continue to wet themselves beyond the age I did in the 1960’s, because even if they did, there were no painful or uncomfortable circumstances arising from accidents, so very difficult to properly toilet train.
However, as I was working full time, pull-ups were a life-saver, so I can see why some kids take longer to train…

Yes, this.
But we will still hear lots about lazy parents blah blah.

Teachers are reporting seeing far more children joining Reception who are not toilet trained than there used to be. Unless levels of SEN have risen in the last few years that change has to be down to parenting. Teachers are also saying that more children are struggling with speech and language and social skills.

But the child has special needs whether or not they diagnosed. So in that case they might not be toilet trained. As every single person has said. But yes not training a child who could be trained is neglect.

Fair enough. I stand corrected

SN notwithstanding, it’s laziness.
You expect accidents in Reception children. But they should at least have an idea on how it works

Exactly this..

This attitude really pisses me off my disabled son was in nappies untill he waa 9/10 if posters really think keeping a child in nappies is easier than training a child then clearly they have never had to change the nappy of an older child
And why would a typically developing chils want to stay in nappies when they know all their peers are out of them??

It’s definitely neglect

Back in the day schools could refuse to allow kids in nappies to atrend school
Now they realise its discriminatory.

Most children are toilet trained by 4 but some find it much harder and it takes longer. No big deal

I feel as though there is alot of ' let children do it when their ready' kind of advice out there right now and while that's lovely some children you just can't do that. It's not helpful for parents.

Yes it's different if a kid has SEN or etc, but the proportion of kids reaching primary school in nappies has risen significantly. This is laziness. The vast majority of kids are capable of learning well before this.

It's really dependent on the child, sometimes. Three of mine were successfully potty trained by 2.5, which went reasonably smoothly. My last child fought it tooth and nail and was only potty trained fully by the time he was just over 4. He's recently been diagnosed with autism, which may explain why - I don't know. My view has always been that when they're ready, they're ready.

This. No need to make a pointless sweeping statement of a thread about it!