talk to me if you stupidly bought something £££ you couldnt really afford

[WhyDidIDiddle]

In my defence, I have had a horrible time featuring death which has left me on a swing between dark depression and f*ck it do it now you might be dead tomorrow.

I bought a pair of shoes that I really liked but were a ridiculous amount to spend on shoes of any kind. I feel a bit sick when I think of it. I will keep them as its not bankrupting but it is stupid out of the savings money. I do like them but it was really really really stupid. No one should spend that much on a pair of shoes.

Hoping I am not alone and someone can make me feel a bit better with similar tale that didn't end horribly.

@FagsMagsandBags hey Fags, it's my birthday on the 7th too, and I'd love to see a photo of you feeding the sloths if you post one!
I have fed a capybara in France, we were staying near Bayonne for a couple of months and there were capybaras in the river that ran past the house. They were quite curious and tame, and really liked apples...
(We had no idea what they were at first, they are almost as big as spaniels and chunky with it. Had to look them up and found that the name for them in French is 'ragondin'.)

I shall share, birthday twin! I like their French name, it's very distinguished.

@FagsMagsandBags Most definitely! Lots of pictures, and I'll be "rinsing my eyes" watching your joy!

Someone who wants it and will treasure it.

Why do people buy anything? Because they want to.

HTH🙄

Please can I see the pic of you feeding the sloth?
Love the capybara feeding too.

I am a few years older and I am pretty sure I've lost one to mark every year of my married life (45+ yrs). Still losing them way too often.

Maybe someone sneaks in and steals them for recycling.....😆😉

Or you'd spend it on what you do want. A house, home refurbishing, clothing, a holiday, education. What is your waste is someone else's treasure, and what is your treasure is someone else's waste.

But, go with your story that you'd donate it because then, everyone clapped.

I bet it is beautiful! You should put it up and enjoy it.

Here for the 🦥

I am so sorry for your loss. {{HUGS}} You'll figure out the Switch, or find a 6-year-old to teach you. Getting a bit of pleasure after your loss is hopefully helping you get your bearings. It's certainly not weird.

It's nice to know that it isn't just me who grief shops/spends. It has made me feel less idiotic with my grief spending. I truly wish I had known it was a "thing" forty years ago.

I "grief bought" after my Grandmother passed, my Dad, my Mom, my sister and have also spent a lot when I was really sick (all three times), my DH got diagnosed with cancer and pretty much any tough time when I have felt overwhelmed.

So now I am way overloaded with beanies, Harmony Kingdom, Hallmark ornaments, dolls of every style and shape, doll clothing/furniture/accessories, clothes and accessories for myself, and lastly, perfume. WAY too much perfume (1.3K plus). sigh Trying to get any of it under control feels like an exercise in futility.

@FagsMagsandBags I'd love to see photos of you and the sloths ❤️ sounds like it will be AMAZING. I hope you love it x

I'd still think it was daft even if it was a man's watch! Reading this thread makes me think we live in a very odd world. It's so strange that someone can spend more on a set of cutlery than some people's income for a whole year. But yes - that's just how it is.

I think it's the context, @LillyPJ We know that there are a lot of people with cutlery that cost at least £20k, hundreds of thousands, millions, stuff like that but it's been in their families for generations or they are super rich and we expect that of them. On a nice simple thread here we expect that while some of us are better off and some of us are worse off, none of us are having the ambassador over for dinner and passing the port whichever way we're supposed to pass it. So, you hear £20k and your mind is blown, but your neighbour's car might be worth more than that just outside your window and we know that the bears worked to get that set bit by bit by bit because they fell in love with it, so they worked hard and they got it and continue to love it.

To some people it's all about the money and the consumerism and to some it's all about filling a small part of their big lives with something they love. My guess is that this thread as a whole, including the bears' cutlery story has brought more pleasure to more people than 20k could measure. Probably. It's less the things that people have bought and yet they're been fun, funny, lovely, silly, all of the above and more glimpses into people's ordinary but also special lives. Threads like this are at the beating heart of a place like this and I'm loving it.

Other than the sanctimonious posts (who knew cutlery could be so divisive - even if it was expensive), I love this thread. I have been given a lot of moral bullshit about overspending, and of course you can't overspend (and I am doing much better). But I feel less bad about having a compunction to do this when things are tough. It's really helpful to (a) know I am not alone; and (b) that maybe I am not a bad person just someone who has a non-ideal way of dealing with their distress. So thank you for this.

If I had it to burn on cutlery, I meant I think I’d already have those things. I just wouldn’t spend money like that on something like that ever, but i acknowledged everyone is different. I wish I didn’t say anything. It just seemed a really, really frivolous choice to me. In my mind you have everything if you’re willing to spend that on eating tools.

I do and would donate money, I’m not trying to win a badge. Everyone is entitled to enjoy things. But point taken, you all think I’m an arsehole for saying I’d rather help another person’s situation than spend tens of thousands on cutlery.

No but I think you are virtue signalling

I agree wholeheartedly. It has been joyous to read about cutlery and sloths and everything in between.

I’m not a natural big spender but my DH is so he is my biggest expense that I do sometimes regret. I don’t regret the things he has made me buy like the Denby, Tempur mattress, expensive sofas etc. I love and use them daily.

Ah you just reminded me about my beanies collection, they're mostly stacked on top of a wardrobe now apart from the 2 I liked best: the platypus with its derpy face and the chinese dragon :)

No, we all think you're talking nonsense. Unless you actually have had £20k completely spare, and have in fact donated it, then you have no idea what you would do.

Given you have assumed that you would "already have" the things a PP mentioned, you presumably don't have them. So in fact, what you are saying is "If I were super-rich such that £20k made no difference to me, I would donate it", not that if you - real-world you - got £20k you would donate it. So it's utterly pointless and doesn't reflect well on you, which is quite clearly what you were aiming for, or alternatively, to make the cutlery-purchaser feel bad. Either way, not a good look.

Just think, you could have prevented someone from possibly feeling bad without spending a single penny, just by keeping your judgement to yourself.

Surely it’s better to spend your spare money however you like, and make people feel good by just being nice and letting people live how they want?

Distributing alms is not the only way to be a better person.

This is it, it's by Nina Paley, it's the goddesses from her film Seder Masochism, which you can watch here:

https://archive.org/details/sedermasochism

As you can see it's not the sort of quilt you could repair easily (although I do love traditional quilts, Mum left me a half-finished log cabin which I'm working up to finishing).

It's staying packed away until we've renovated the house!

Thanks, I’ll keep that in mind.

I have those things.

You’re right, I don’t wish to make anybody feel awful, as I feel now. I said everyone is different, it just wouldn’t be my personal choice.

I also wrote that I read the story after I initially wrote what I wrote, I just thought best not to just dirty delete.

I don’t wish to put bad things out in the world at all. So here I acknowledge what people are saying and in future I’ll keep my thoughts to myself. Think I’ll delete my account. All the best.

Yes, you’re right,

I did say everyone is different and this just wouldn’t be my choice.

Obviously I have been feeling glum having had flu for a week, which is the only reason I ended up looking at Mumsnet. Sorry to have put bad vibes out there.

I guess I must be.

I just wrote what i genuinely thought in a moment, a daft moment where I should’ve kept my fingers shut.

Sure I’ve paid for my single remark on the internet now.

I'm not a bad person, but I take the points.