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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

talk to me if you stupidly bought something £££ you couldnt really afford

769 replies

WhyDidIDiddle · 30/03/2025 19:44

In my defence, I have had a horrible time featuring death which has left me on a swing between dark depression and f*ck it do it now you might be dead tomorrow.

I bought a pair of shoes that I really liked but were a ridiculous amount to spend on shoes of any kind. I feel a bit sick when I think of it. I will keep them as its not bankrupting but it is stupid out of the savings money. I do like them but it was really really really stupid. No one should spend that much on a pair of shoes.

Hoping I am not alone and someone can make me feel a bit better with similar tale that didn't end horribly.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
21
LunaNorth · 01/04/2025 08:36

Katem90 · 01/04/2025 08:32

Yes, you’re right,

I did say everyone is different and this just wouldn’t be my choice.

Obviously I have been feeling glum having had flu for a week, which is the only reason I ended up looking at Mumsnet. Sorry to have put bad vibes out there.

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Flowers Feel better soon. You’re a class act for owning that, not many do.
Katem90 · 01/04/2025 08:36

LunaNorth · 01/04/2025 08:02

Just think, you could have prevented someone from possibly feeling bad without spending a single penny, just by keeping your judgement to yourself.

Surely it’s better to spend your spare money however you like, and make people feel good by just being nice and letting people live how they want?

Distributing alms is not the only way to be a better person.

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Where was I unkind though? I just said I’d rather donate it. I didn’t denigrate anybody’s character.

Lentilweaver · 01/04/2025 08:38

FFS can we not.suck the.joy from this thread? @edwinbear has been very restrained in the face of all this sanctimony.
You can start another thread for your charity donations.

Katem90 · 01/04/2025 08:40

LunaNorth · 01/04/2025 08:36

Flowers Feel better soon. You’re a class act for owning that, not many do.
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Just seen your mention again. Thanks. I genuinely asked the above because honestly, I would never try to be unkind. I don’t wish to make people unhappy.

Now everyone, breeze past my arsey remark and get back to the conversation 😶‍🌫️

HornungTheHelpful · 01/04/2025 08:42

Katem90 · 01/04/2025 08:35

I guess I must be.

I just wrote what i genuinely thought in a moment, a daft moment where I should’ve kept my fingers shut.

Sure I’ve paid for my single remark on the internet now.

I'm not a bad person, but I take the points.

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No, you're judgemental - and in all of these mea culpas you haven't let go of your virtue, have you?

Delete your account if you want. Or maybe spend more time somewhere where people challenge your perception of yourself. Even if you find you don't agree there's always value in reconsidering your existing view of yourself.

Daftypants · 01/04/2025 08:43

babyproblems · 30/03/2025 22:52

Thinking about my spending actually my other huge frivolity is a very small elderly dog who had significant health problems that I adopted at the age of 15… he’s one of the loves of my life and I take excellent care of him; everyone thought he would come home to die basically he was in such a poor state.. We are now several years on from his adoption and he is very much still going, stable and enjoying himself a little bit in life - I have spent thousands on his vets bills this last two years- we can afford it so it’s not a daft expense and of course makes a huge difference to him. My DH hasn’t ever asked me how much he actually costs us because he knows it’s a ridiculous amount 😂 Everyone constantly tells me I’m insane for adopting him and continuing any expensive treatment required at his age but honestly this tiny ancient dog is the most resilient thing I’ve ever seen, and he still has a good quality of life thanks to my investments in him both money at the vets & daily care. And he has taught me so much about unconditional love! For me it’s very worth it. I won’t keep him going when I know it’s his time and he can’t go on. Keep the shoes. Love this thread x

That’s a wonderful and kind thing to do xx
My little dog is almost 12 years old , costs me a fortune in pet insurance and PetPlan cover for his vaccinations/ flea and worm treatments.
plus all the usual other stuff such as replacement beds as necessary, new collars etc , special shampoo .
He isn’t covered by the insurance for one health condition as he has reached his lifetime limit for that particular condition , so that is now an out of pocket expense for me .

Mrsredlipstick · 01/04/2025 08:47

wigsonthegreenandhatsforthelifting · 31/03/2025 21:35

My eldest has loads of Jellycat toys. Says the most maddening thing is that she was collecting them long before they became a 'thing'! I also bought them some Jellycats when they were little so pieces 20+ now.

God I have a tonne of stuff round my house that must have cost a fortune. I started collecting Denby dinnerware and I have every single thing that was issued in my range in the last 35 years. Recently replaced a few plates and added more, using Tesco Clubcard which I learned about on MN.

I have two Wedgwood dinner services, one with all the bells and whistles, serving dishes, bread plates, teacup and saucers, coffee jug, teapot yada yada yada. Last used for my son's christening and he's 21... got a lot of it as wedding gifts. I've got at least 5 different sets of cutlery - none near £20k, but bravo @edwinbear!

I've every Harrod's Christmas Bear since 1987. I can't get my hands on 1986 and any time I've seen it, it's been mega-expensive. I also collect a certain brand of mugs and must have about 200+. I've also 200+ pair of shoes/boots/sandals and my bedroom is chaotic with clothes I have no room for. I could open a jewellers. I think I'm a little addicted to 'stuff'.

Probably my maddest purchase was as a student in 1982, living on a student grant and my Saturday job. I fell in love with a £100 pair of Renata Italian leather boots, and on impulse, I bought them. I loved those boots so much!! I don't know if they are still in my attic and what condition they would be in more than 40 years later!

Oh and I also have a lot of the Chalet School books from the 70s lurking in my roofspace. Plus Barbies, Sindys and all their rellies in a box!!

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This was me before I gave up alcohol. I'd collect anything. 39 pairs of black trousers, 100+ pairs of shoes. 500 pieces of blue and white china that nobody was allowed to use. I had nothing as a child and I built a big career. When I had therapy for alcohol dependancy I worked out my stuff was a comfort. A way of being loved. I'm a bit poorly at present so I'm downsizing but it's hard.

Katem90 · 01/04/2025 08:47

Lentilweaver · 01/04/2025 08:38

FFS can we not.suck the.joy from this thread? @edwinbear has been very restrained in the face of all this sanctimony.
You can start another thread for your charity donations.

I was in Joy Sucker mode, with flu having missed so many different family festivities over the weekend, my bad.

In all honesty, I have bought clothes and shoes over the years I haven’t exactly needed. I think internet shopping is an easy habit to creep up on you due to the instant gratification aspect…. and probably reimagining yourself and your image in the dark of night, when you’re feeling crappy!

I’ve definitely spent money in the face of trauma. I went through something awful and a big police investigation in my late teens and then lost my mum to MND aged 24 so I really went hard on the whole “I need to change who I am to feel better and clothes are the way to do that” (in hindsight) - I can honestly say it didn’t work 😂

Hopefully I’ve moved the conversation on now…

Katem90 · 01/04/2025 08:49

HornungTheHelpful · 01/04/2025 08:42

No, you're judgemental - and in all of these mea culpas you haven't let go of your virtue, have you?

Delete your account if you want. Or maybe spend more time somewhere where people challenge your perception of yourself. Even if you find you don't agree there's always value in reconsidering your existing view of yourself.

Show quote history

Do you think you might be be a bit excessively unkind now? Possibly judgemental yourself?

I have apologised. I’m not having the easiest time, I have taken the points.

I didn’t intend to upset anybody

Greatto · 01/04/2025 09:02

I could afford my Dutch bike.

Much wanted after many a trip to The Netherlands. Dreams of effortlessly gliding out to cafes, the library, my local indie shops. Smart attire ready for work, laptop bag in my leather panniers, wind in my hair. Tulips in the front wicker basket (as seen at the weekly, Dutch flower market), canals winking, windmills nodding.

In practice, my much sought after, long time searched for, expensive, imported bike, is beautiful…but so damned heavy, that eight stone, 5ft, little me, really struggles to move it!

HornungTheHelpful · 01/04/2025 09:08

Katem90 · 01/04/2025 08:49

Do you think you might be be a bit excessively unkind now? Possibly judgemental yourself?

I have apologised. I’m not having the easiest time, I have taken the points.

I didn’t intend to upset anybody

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It is not me who is upset, and I haven't set out to portray myself as being a good Samaritan. I absolutely am judging you. If you judge that, fair enough.

Nonetheless, I am sorry you are struggling at the moment. I had flu about five weeks ago and I am only now getting back to normal. So good luck with that.

Laurmolonlabe · 01/04/2025 09:10

If it's not bankrupting, look at it as part of your recovery, forgive yourself- and look at them every day so you don't do it again!

Katem90 · 01/04/2025 09:11

HornungTheHelpful · 01/04/2025 09:08

It is not me who is upset, and I haven't set out to portray myself as being a good Samaritan. I absolutely am judging you. If you judge that, fair enough.

Nonetheless, I am sorry you are struggling at the moment. I had flu about five weeks ago and I am only now getting back to normal. So good luck with that.

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I didn’t really think about it to be honest, I was scrolling stuff feeling very ill and I just wrote down a thought. I don’t need to portray myself as anything. I also don’t think I was unkind about it, but you’re absolutely right, I’m far from perfect. I’ve said I shouldn’t have said it, even apologised. So can we move on? Thanks.

BeaAndBen · 01/04/2025 09:13

Thrilled to read about capybara and sloth feeding! I’ve always wanted to feed giraffes but never have. I love them, with their huge liquid eyes and strange gait. Maybe I should book something.

What a lovely thread this has been!

NotOnThsAsosChristmasCardList · 01/04/2025 09:13

Anybody else absolutely desperate for @edwinbear to report after all of these years she's brought the canteen? I feel like it would be a 360 of life for her!
Yes, that's where my emotions are at the moment getting hopeful for an absolute strangers canteen!

Hoppinggreen · 01/04/2025 09:16

LillyPJ · 31/03/2025 21:32

How about helping out someone else who maybe doesn't have food, let alone posh cutlery? Or anyone else in need? Or donating to a charity?

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How about minding your own business?

Mrsredlipstick · 01/04/2025 09:19

I bought a dog for my SEN DD who was having a hard time at school. I sold a mulberry bag to pay for him along with the DH donating some Christmas overtime.
We couldn't afford him but I'd been inticed after my old terrier died.
He's now a much loved family member. Even the DH who isn't a big animal person loves him.

Hoppinggreen · 01/04/2025 09:21

BeaAndBen · 01/04/2025 09:13

Thrilled to read about capybara and sloth feeding! I’ve always wanted to feed giraffes but never have. I love them, with their huge liquid eyes and strange gait. Maybe I should book something.

What a lovely thread this has been!

I paid £250 for DD to feed Komodo Dragons last year
Worth every penny

3smallpups · 01/04/2025 09:22

I have such a reputation for buying horses, that my friends tag me in Facebook sales posts and other friends then comment that it’s the wrong colour to blend in and DH will notice
it’s not even a joke …..
I find it best not to add up the total costs !

HornungTheHelpful · 01/04/2025 09:36

Hoppinggreen · 01/04/2025 09:21

I paid £250 for DD to feed Komodo Dragons last year
Worth every penny

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Were you not terrified? I understand they can eat a child, and I've never been able to get past that 🤣 Sounds fabulous though!

TheJoanCollins · 01/04/2025 09:40

Are we still posting about expensive but unnecessary things or has this thread died a death because of the bun fight?

If it’s still on, I’ll tell you about my expensive upgrade…😉

Lentilweaver · 01/04/2025 09:46

I just realised my big splurge item, or rather DHs. He collects Persian and Turkish rugs. Dont know why they didnt occur to me earlier..

Don't want to say how much we have spent but quite a lot.And we lost one in an intercountry move which I still think about with deep guilt. They are worth it though.

Really beautiful and make a room. Last for years ( if you dont lose them).

jackstini · 01/04/2025 09:51

I have a solution for the people with expensive perfume they will never use and can’t give away

Toilet air freshener
I know, I know - it seems extravagant, but 1 tiny squirt lasts ages and it’s better than it completely going to waste

I have done this with unwanted gifts and have been told my loo smells amazing 🤣

Looking forward to sloth pics and really hope OP gets the canteen!

Hoppinggreen · 01/04/2025 09:55

HornungTheHelpful · 01/04/2025 09:36

Were you not terrified? I understand they can eat a child, and I've never been able to get past that 🤣 Sounds fabulous though!

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It was all done very safely as they are venomous
It was absolutely incredible though, as we saw them approach (we were at a safe distance behind a red line and they were in an enclosure) a very primeval part of my brain was telling me to run.
Apparently the local hospital have a bite protocol for them.

MrsPositivity1 · 01/04/2025 09:56

edwinbear · 30/03/2025 23:04

No, we never have. The entire story (given it’s taken up much of OP’s thread, and I’m sorry for that).

Asprey were my client, I work in banking and was involved in the financing of their fancy new, showcase, Garrard Street store. DH (although he was my fiancé at the time) and I were invited to the big, red carpet, paparazzi filled opening. As we mingled and wandered about, marvelling at the REALLY expensive stuff, there was a premier league footballer looking at this showcase dining room table with this stunning cutlery on it.

The footballer and his wife were gushing over it and put an order in for the whole lot, right there. I said to DH how lovely it was and how amazing to be able to just spend that amount of money on knives and forks and not think about it. On our wedding day, he gave me a present of a single, £120 teaspoon from the set. And said to me, I can see how much you loved it, I’m sorry I can’t buy you the full set outright but I’d like you to think of this as a commitment to us getting the full set. It took us five years. Including the discount from my client. But that’s we did.

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That’s so lovely x