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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

talk to me if you stupidly bought something £££ you couldnt really afford

769 replies

WhyDidIDiddle · 30/03/2025 19:44

In my defence, I have had a horrible time featuring death which has left me on a swing between dark depression and f*ck it do it now you might be dead tomorrow.

I bought a pair of shoes that I really liked but were a ridiculous amount to spend on shoes of any kind. I feel a bit sick when I think of it. I will keep them as its not bankrupting but it is stupid out of the savings money. I do like them but it was really really really stupid. No one should spend that much on a pair of shoes.

Hoping I am not alone and someone can make me feel a bit better with similar tale that didn't end horribly.

OP posts:
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21
FagsMagsandBags · 31/03/2025 01:43

Even if they had spent £20k in one go that would have been their choice, but they bought it bit by bit because they loved it and twenty years on they still love it. That is embracing life the way they want to embrace life. Yes, £20k could have gone to different uses. I've always been pretty poor, £20k could have changed my life at many points but so what? I didn't have it they did, they bought what they wanted and they're happy. That's what this thread has grown to be about. No judgement, just "please tell us more" about some of the interesting stories and little glimpses into the lives of people beyond what they've purchased. Little life losses, gains, sadnesses and joys. It's beautiful and I get that it's not beautiful to everyone but there are other threads to go to let out your grinch.

FagsMagsandBags · 31/03/2025 01:44

fourquenelles · 30/03/2025 23:42

Picture posted up thread at 22.44. I bought them at the Kensington Dolls House Exhibition in London that happens twice a year. Next one is in May. Queen Mary's is amazing.

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I love your miniature silverware. I had no idea there were Dolls House Exhibitions in London twice a year. I really hope I can get to the one in May. That's my idea of a joyful day out!

Lailatov · 31/03/2025 01:53

Recently bought a handbag for £5k. I can’t tell anyone I know about this (apart from DH). No one would bat an eyelid if it was a man’s watch. Enjoy your shoes.

FagsMagsandBags · 31/03/2025 01:54

Giggorata · 31/03/2025 01:28

I spent something like ten grand on a wonderful dolls house.
I took the money out of my doing the house up fund, and I shouldn't have, it means I might not be able to complete the downstairs washroom.. but it sparks so much joy.

Trying to find the balance between need and want, really. Once in a while, something really self indulgent does you good.

This is so outrageous and so wonderful! I love dolls houses and miniatures, is there a chance we could see some photos? Along with the exhibition I now want to go to, I'm going to see if there are places where I might be able to have the tiniest of interactions with a dolls house or two. I'm finding things to do at the moment that bring me happiness and while the good thing is that I'm finding happiness in small things and my list is short, it's great to be reminded - and this thread has done that - of things that squeeze my heart because there's a beauty about them that goes beyond explanation. So now I have 10th April feeding capybaras, hopefully not too long after feeding sloths although that's reliant upon me begging to be let in early because there are no free places until September and I will almost certainly need to do it a while before then. Something, something wedding dress shopping, dolls house exhibitions and more miniatures.

There was a miniature 18th century silver teapot on a repeat of Antiques Roadshow (from Swanage) this evening. Made by the best silversmith of his or many eras and a man who didn't make miniatures/toys. It was so simple and perfect and I think £8-12k. The expert didn't want to let it go and I totally understood. It was so tactile. I love seeing what turns up on AR each week.

dogsandcatsandhorses · 31/03/2025 02:04

I see your 20k cutlery and raise you a 15 room manor house. Yep, 10 months after DH died. What the hell does grief do to our brains?

Flamingo68 · 31/03/2025 02:06

£1400 on Eras Tour tickets
£1200 on Taylor Swift snow globes

I’m living my best life.

LillyPJ · 31/03/2025 02:46

WhatterySquash · 30/03/2025 21:18

Wow, I'm not usually fussy about cutlery but I really don't like those at all! Those gaps would do my head in. You'd throw them in the sink (although actually I guess maybe you wouldn't, your servants would discreetly carry them away to be hand-polished) and they'd come out with bits of pasta stuck through the holes.

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I agree. Not only that, but I also think they are really ugly (I like sleek and modern) and would be uncomfortable to hold.

FagsMagsandBags · 31/03/2025 03:03

Floatlikeafeather2 · 30/03/2025 23:18

I'm pretty sure there isn't an Asprey's in Garrard Street. Am I wrong?

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Asprey and Garrad's mereged in the 1990s and then demerged in the 2000s so my guess is that for a period of time there were different stores than there are now. Bear says it was a swanky new store which would add up to about twenty years ago and the merge. I see no reason to suggest that she's lying about any of it.

billydilly · 31/03/2025 03:05

I've always dreamed of having an Abyssinian cat, quite a difficult breed to find in the UK. After a few surreptitious long-distance trips to the breeder I found the kitten for me; he was quite devoted to his little sister though..of course I ended up buying her too. Many £££'s for them both. I told DH that the sister came free on a BOGOF basis..

talk to me if you stupidly bought something £££ you couldnt really afford
FagsMagsandBags · 31/03/2025 03:07

They are stunning. Happy cat slavery.

FagsMagsandBags · 31/03/2025 03:07

I'd like a big old ginger Maine Coon.

Missey85 · 31/03/2025 03:17

I impulsively bought a icecream machine and I haven't used it once it was such a waste 🙁

ForPearlNewt · 31/03/2025 03:19

edwinbear · 30/03/2025 23:04

No, we never have. The entire story (given it’s taken up much of OP’s thread, and I’m sorry for that).

Asprey were my client, I work in banking and was involved in the financing of their fancy new, showcase, Garrard Street store. DH (although he was my fiancé at the time) and I were invited to the big, red carpet, paparazzi filled opening. As we mingled and wandered about, marvelling at the REALLY expensive stuff, there was a premier league footballer looking at this showcase dining room table with this stunning cutlery on it.

The footballer and his wife were gushing over it and put an order in for the whole lot, right there. I said to DH how lovely it was and how amazing to be able to just spend that amount of money on knives and forks and not think about it. On our wedding day, he gave me a present of a single, £120 teaspoon from the set. And said to me, I can see how much you loved it, I’m sorry I can’t buy you the full set outright but I’d like you to think of this as a commitment to us getting the full set. It took us five years. Including the discount from my client. But that’s we did.

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I love this story!

LunaNorth · 31/03/2025 04:07

Missey85 · 31/03/2025 03:17

I impulsively bought a icecream machine and I haven't used it once it was such a waste 🙁

Use it! I have one and in summer I put the bread maker away and bring out the ice cream maker. I have a Ben and Jerry’s recipe book, and oh man…🤤

LyndzB · 31/03/2025 04:39

Can we please see a picture of the cutlery?

HornungTheHelpful · 31/03/2025 05:14

twistyizzy · 30/03/2025 20:13

Spent £10K on horse. Told DH it was £3K and said horse then promptly racked up 4K of vets bills in the first year!
Completely couldn't afford it.

Yep - horses! Couldn’t pick between two unbacked 3 year olds. Bought both to see which came on best. Still have both with no plans to sell as they are rising 6. Complete madness! £3.5k on vet hospital for collitis over last Xmas too. And the saddles. Oh, the saddles! I’m an absolute idiot but I love the soppy buggers.

And that has at least caused me to work towards sorting out my finances. So not all bad.

MarchInHappiness · 31/03/2025 05:47

20 years ago Dh and I spent 4k on a brand new coal range when we were renovating our house. It has two ovens, one grill and four gas hobs, and suits our kitchen beautifully. But no matter how gorgeous it is I do regret it as neither of us cook meals that require multiple ovens and hobs, nor do I host dinner parties. In fact, at times I have preheated the wrong oven.

We got to carried away after we came into some money.

Pigeon31 · 31/03/2025 05:54

billydilly · 31/03/2025 03:05

I've always dreamed of having an Abyssinian cat, quite a difficult breed to find in the UK. After a few surreptitious long-distance trips to the breeder I found the kitten for me; he was quite devoted to his little sister though..of course I ended up buying her too. Many £££'s for them both. I told DH that the sister came free on a BOGOF basis..

They're stunning, I totally get it.

When I was 21 I inherited a small amount from grandparents (was the most money I'd ever had, grew up quite poor) and spent it all on a trip to Japan and tickets to the Ring cycle at Covent Garden (I'd seen the operas on TV).

Twinkletoes10 · 31/03/2025 06:01

RabbitsRock · 30/03/2025 20:30

I keep buying stuff online using Klarna & Clearpay so that it doesn’t feel real in a way & the other day looked around & realised just how much I’d got. The other day I bought 2 rings on TJC & then a matching necklace for one of the rings & it was over £150 which I don’t really have. Plus I rarely go out so will probably only wear the necklace at Christmas. I definitely have an addictive personality!

This is me with PayPal pay later. It feels "free" until you get the statement in 🙈 I never really treated myself before but now I decided to buy myself some nice things and worry later. I am quite stressed about paying it back though.

muddyford · 31/03/2025 06:26

During lockdown I bought a carpet shampooer. Used it once .

Butchyrestingface · 31/03/2025 06:28

edwinbear · 30/03/2025 19:51

If you really like the shoes and you can afford them, it’s really not a waste of money. You’re allowed to have nice things! DH and I spent £20k on a cutlery set when we were young, pre-kids and had money. That’s arguably a ridiculous amount of money to spend on knives & forks, but 20 years later, we still get pleasure from them.

That will have helped put things in perspective for poor OP. 😀

Lovelysummerdays · 31/03/2025 06:33

muddyford · 31/03/2025 06:26

During lockdown I bought a carpet shampooer. Used it once .

I bought a shark carpet shampooer on Amazon . I’m 3 months in to the five months interest free payments. It’s still in the box in the utility. It irritates me every time I walk past it.

NoSourDough · 31/03/2025 06:42

babyproblems · 30/03/2025 22:52

Thinking about my spending actually my other huge frivolity is a very small elderly dog who had significant health problems that I adopted at the age of 15… he’s one of the loves of my life and I take excellent care of him; everyone thought he would come home to die basically he was in such a poor state.. We are now several years on from his adoption and he is very much still going, stable and enjoying himself a little bit in life - I have spent thousands on his vets bills this last two years- we can afford it so it’s not a daft expense and of course makes a huge difference to him. My DH hasn’t ever asked me how much he actually costs us because he knows it’s a ridiculous amount 😂 Everyone constantly tells me I’m insane for adopting him and continuing any expensive treatment required at his age but honestly this tiny ancient dog is the most resilient thing I’ve ever seen, and he still has a good quality of life thanks to my investments in him both money at the vets & daily care. And he has taught me so much about unconditional love! For me it’s very worth it. I won’t keep him going when I know it’s his time and he can’t go on. Keep the shoes. Love this thread x

This is my favourite! Just wonderful xx

Agix · 31/03/2025 06:44

About 1.5k on collectable pokemon cards. Even less use than shoes I suppose. No regrets. I enjoy my hobby and love the cards, didn't empty my bank account. I'll probably be spending lots more with time.

Edit: I'll also get a maine coon at some point!

Frenchtoastie · 31/03/2025 06:45

SnugglyJumpersMakeItBetter · 30/03/2025 20:43

£300 on a (replica) Victorian dress for a murder mystery party! No one else dressed up, so it was both an expensive and embarrassing mistake!! It's sitting in my wardrobe sneering at me! I would like to sell it to recoup some of the money, but no-one would actually want to buy it, because fashion has moved on since the 1860s!!

This made me cry of laughter in the middle of the night waking my DH,
thank you for the laugh it was worth £300 I laughed for about 15 minutes 🤣