Husband getting married

[Grassisalotgreener]

Separated 13 years, no contact since children came of age, separated as a result of dv. I was informed today that he is getting Married next week .
Should i inform someone in authority?
Aibu if i report him, i was delighted when he moved on so not upset he is getting married,but im astounded because we are not divorced!

No you can't.

OP, sorry if I’ve missed something in reading your story here, but I just want to say that I would strongly discourage my children from attending his ‘wedding’ especially if they are adults and know he is still married. You wouldn’t want them to witness and celebrate his bigamy which is a criminal offence.

No it isn't.

You don’t just “become divorced “ just because you haven’t had contact!!!

@Regretsmorethanafew

https://www.legislation.gov.uk/cookiepolicy

Bigamy is a criminal offence which carries a sentence.

@Boredzebra https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/family/how-to-separate1/getting-a-divorce-or-dissolution/

I'm surprised at the lack of understanding here. I got this from the original post, but then maybe it's just because I went through DV and have hidden for years, thankfully no kids and didn't marry him as he couldn't produce any proof of his divorce.

Sorry you are going through this OP, perhaps best to say nothing and report anon after the ceremony.

Yes, put yourself first.

Speak to a lawyer before you do anything.

Edited for clarity.

That's in the UK. Bigamy is also a criminal offence I'm Ireland, but attending a bigamous wedding is not.

Is he a conman? I have noticed that bigamy is sometimes part of a con man’s mo.

Not in England or Wales…assuming the OP is in the UK. It is a legally registered marriage in Scotland, as their marriage laws are different.

I know this for an actual fact, as I am a Humanist Celebrant (in England).

No celebrant led ceremony is legal in England or Wales, whether that’s Humanist or Independent (there are different types of celebrant). Couples have to do their legal paperwork with a Registrar and to do this, of course, they need to be legally divorced.

The OP is in Ireland @BumbleBeegu

I’d go to the ceremony and when they ask ‘does anyone know why this man and women cannot be married’ I’d stand up and say ‘he’s my husband’. We found out by accident that my BiL was doing this and planned to do just that but we were able to use it as a lever to get him to agree divorce terms

If I was you OP, I would do nothing. You aren’t responsible for his actions. You have told your children and I would leave it at that.

But why is money a barrier when you have e no dependent children?

And risk making an absolute tit of yourself if he says “this is a commitment ceremony”

Baffling your adult kids have never asked either of you if you’re divorced!

The price of divorce is Ireland is shocking. A judicial separation can cost upwards of 12k and then you have to apply for a divorce after that.

No dependent children
No financial dependency on one another
Much cheaper
(sister spent 4300 euros in similar situation)

Why would they?

You tend to tell the kids you’re splitting up. The OP said it was in traumatic circumstances, the automatic assumption on the kids’ part would be that their parents were divorced. I wouldn’t even think it would occur to children of separated parents to actually ask if they were divorced.

Adult children to have never enquired about whether their parents divorced? Never during teens.

oh come on

where did you get this understanding from?

It is illegal to lie on the forms and if they have arranged the marriage in the UK then he will have lied on the forms. The registers don't have the time to fact check every person - though they do report weddings that they believe are a shame for immigration purposes to the home office.

OP do you know whereabout your husband is getting married? rough area - don't say here. But if you do then contact the register office and let them know his named you are married him, where you got married etc

I know it may be different in Ireland but over here, you have to apply for a license and have the banns read or posted. I imagine at this point, the names of the prospectives are entered into some sort of system maybe?

You can phone in anonymously OP, if you are afraid he will cause trouble.

Except that he is currently considered in law to be your next of kin so if you died, he would have control over what happens to your body and the stuff you own.

If you inherited some money and died soon after, it's his money. There are loads of circumstances where you do not want him to be your husband that are too numerous to describe here. Get divorced or at least make a start to show intent. The divorce process might highlight to the authorities that he has bigamously married someone else and you are absolved of responsibility.

ive now caught up with further posts and see you don't want to report this - letting sleeping dogs lie - seems wise on your part considering the circumstances

She said that they are aware now!